Praise be to the Absent One

Hail the New Moon, our Absent Lord

[ourabsentlord]

Greetings, mortal

I am your Absent Lord, gracing this mortal plain through this most inauspicious of social media apps.

When I am not an eldritch god of darkness and despair, I am a terminally cringe person, avid reader, let's play connoiseur, listener of various podcasts and part time full time high school student.

I have transcended the concept of pronouns, but you may use he/him if you must.

I am currently looking for followers with whom I can plot total world domination. @kittysluvforfics need not apply. @tom000 MUST apply.

Amongst my various interests are: The Magnus Archives, lists, SCP content, Souls-likes (in a purely voyeuristic capacity), lists, TTRPGs (also in a purely voyeuristic capacity), lists, writing and basically any novel written by Brandon Sanderson. Oh, and did I mention lists?

I play the piano, though not very well, and the guitar, though not very well, and the alto recorder, which I have been told is not a real instrument

I am currently incrementally writing an objectively bad piece of fiction in tumblr posts, which can be under #king of hands (yes, I should probably go to AO3 or Wattpad, but I refuse)

Chapters available thus far:

#Chapter 1: Beneath a full moon

If you like what you see, why not

stay a while?

[thatsbelievable]

[ourabsentlord]

Shit, hold on one sec.

*Thunk thunk*

Yep, still there

[important-dog-pics]

[ourabsentlord]

I am constantly accosted by an extremely handsome man named Private Number.

I wonder which military he's in

[munchiiidrawsss]

a square, caramel cake slice! :D I’m hoping to keep doing more and more desserts, and get better and better!

[kittysluvforfics]

Me: The asterism fandom is normal

Also the asterism fandom:

@ pendragonsgallery

@ birroww

✨

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[ourabsentlord]

Me as a VLD fan who doesn't hate the ending:

👀

[kittydealer]

u/Fine-Dog-9874

[kittysluvforfics]

@ourabsentlord do you see this

[ourabsentlord]

@kittysluvforfics this is so me

[ourabsentlord]

Hound

[ourabsentlord]

25 posts!

Yay!

[mommahoney]

The Very Definition of a Psychopath

[been-here-since-76]

And, if you support him, you fall in that category too! 🖕

[ourabsentlord]

As someone who is not American, can we just agree that ALL politicians worldwide, regardless of political leaning, JUST. FUCKING. SUCK?

[braxiations]

some hexbug gifs

[ourabsentlord]

What is this and where can I buy 50?

[textsfrommiskatonic]

[futuremoji]

Your fifth most recent emoji is what your soulmate thinks about you

[theonlycampix]

[ratlicker1917]

😘😘 found the one for me

[c1cloudwhisperer]

@mal-dot-colm

[sg-se]

🫪 (what does this mean)

[anonmuos]

🐟

??!?!?! What?!??! Huh?!??

[the-one-and-only-piper-offical]

🐉

What does this mean bruv

[artemisiamasterofnone]

wait no i meant

🍳

Wtf

[itsuwari-no-kibo-offical]

^chef

🔜

How fitting

[tom000]

Soon...

👍 k.

[ourabsentlord]

😉

Eh. Could be worse, ig?

[kabber]

[ourabsentlord]

That is, indeed, a bigass bug

[v-is-a-cyberpunk]

A version for tumblr that can be read without opening a new tab, since plenty of people would scroll past this story otherwise.

[ourabsentlord]

Alrighty, who's ready for some...

shit fiction?

Part 1

A full moon shone down on Lunnain, tinging the thick fog rolling off the River Isis a dull silver.

Nothing stirred beneath the light of that full moon, no bargeman nor chimney sweep nor even stray dog.

And beneath the light of that full moon, on the outskirts of Lunnain, Sean Flannery was robbing a grave.

Or rather, he was supervising a grave robbery.

"Come on," he urged, holding the lantern over the half-opened graves. "Put your backs into it."

"This would go a lot easier if you actually HELPED," Agatha shot back, grunted from exertion as she flung another shovelfull of grave soil on the growing pile next to the hole.

Sean shrugged helplessly. "Oh, I certainly would, my dear, only–" He tugged at the sleeves of his coat– "This is a brand new jacket! Real genuine Chinese silk! I paid a pretty penny for it." He gave her something like a sheepish grin. "So you see, my hands are rather much tied."

Agatha glared at him. "If that's real Chinese silk–" She stabbed the blade of her shovel into the ground with murderous intent– "then I'm the bloody Queen of Sheba!"

"Oh, just quite your whining, my dear!" Sean scolded lightly. "O'Brien's been working twice as hard as you for just as long, and he's not complained at all."

"That's because O'Brien is a sucker," Agatha muttered bitterly. O'Brien glanced at her from where he was working next to here, then carried on methodically deepening the hole.

[ourabsentlord]

To @tom000, does this ceiling look like it's caving in?