Played by: the incomparable Betty White
The Golden Girls is one of the best comedies ever produced. The show, about four older women, all either widowed or divorced, who are roommates, premiered in 1985 and was very progressive for its time. Although the show began its run nearly 40 years ago, the writing and the humor hold up very well. The clothing, on the other hand, reflects the questionable fashion of the 1980s. The series explored themes that are still relevant today, with wit, humor, and heart, topics such as gay marriage, safer sex, emotional abuse in a relationship, getting tested for AIDS, many of which were controversial for the time. The series showed women over the age of 50 navigating relationships, sex, friends and family.
I watched the series as a child when it first aired, with my parents. I came back to the show in my early 20s, when I had a standing âdateâ with one of my roommates, a 20 year old gay man, to watch reruns. In the years since Iâve regularly watched the show when it was on, or actively sought it out when I needed some cheering up. My favorite character may have varied at times through the years, but the one I always related to most has been consistent: Rose Nylund. Several years ago watching the show I realized why. Rose Nylund is autistic.
I do not believe the creators or writers of the show deliberately wrote Rose as autistic. I believe they wrote what they saw as a simple-minded small town woman lacking in worldly experience or knowledge. Yet in the way she was written, Rose Nylund is, in my mind, autistic.
The criteria for a diagnosis of autism tends to focus on childhood development and behaviors, and we know very little, if anything, about Roseâs early life. The signs and symptoms of autism in adult women are frequently different than the stereotypes, for various reasons, including adult women having learned to âpassâ as neurotypical. One of the best known facets of autism is literal thinking and difficulty âreading between the linesâ, and Rose shows examples of this all the time. I turned on the episode that happened to be airing to try to get some specific examples for this post, and the episode that was on is titled âSister of the Brideâ. In this episode Blanche finds out her brother is gay, and he and his partner arrive at the Girls home. When Clayton comes into the house, he then invites his partner Doug inside, and Blanche jokes about him being the cab driver. Clayton then explains that Doug is his âspecial friendâ, and Blanche, Dorothy, and Sophia immediately understand the two are gay lovers. Rose does not get the implication, and instead comments on how they became so close on the drive from the airport, continuing with the cab driver gag. Later, after Clayton tells Blanche that he plans to get married, Rose tells him thatâs impossible because brothers canât marry sisters, making clear she still doesnât understand that Clayton and Doug are a couple. When the rest of the Girls are talking about why Blanche is upset, Rose says, âJust to bring me up to speed, itâs the brother marrying a gay cop thing?â
Obviously these are all played for laughs, and they are funny, but the humor comes from the fact that Rose is frequently clueless, because she doesnât have the intrinsic understanding of language and social interaction that neurotypicals and other non-autistic people do. One of the hallmarks of her character is her experiences in her hometown of St. Olaf, and the stories she tells. At significant moments in the lives of the Girls, often when they are sitting around the kitchen table for some of that problem-solving cheesecake, Rose will go off telling a story from St. Olaf. The rest of the roommates clearly donât want to hear yet another St. Olaf story, but Rose never picks up on this fact and tells the story, quite frequently completely unrelated to whatâs happening, despite the reactions from the other Girls. I searched for Rose Nylund quotes and found this exchange, perfectly summing it up:
Rose: This reminds me of something that happened back in St. Olaf.
Dorothy: Oh, Rose, stop! Rose, why is it that every time one of us makes an observation, the first thing we hear from you is "Back in St. Olaf?" I mean, did it ever occur to you that maybe we're tired of hearing "Back in St. Olaf," "Back in St. Olaf," "Back in St. Olaf!"
Rose: Gee, no, I... I'm sorry.
Dorothy: Oh... that's okay.
Rose: [pauses for a moment to rethink her approach] Back in that town whose name you're tired of hearing...
This is the perfect example of Rose both not realizing people are sick of her St. Olaf stories, and also taking things literally - continuing on with her story but just leaving out the name, which is what she understands Dorothy was sick of hearing.
I have no idea if Betty White or the showâs writers or creators ever commented on whether Rose is autistic, but a quick Google search makes it clear Iâm not the only autistic person to see her this way. She is constantly missing social cues, missing the joke, not understanding that she is the butt of the joke, and taking things very literally. These are all very common aspects of autism. For a woman born in the 1930s, as she would have been in the canon, she very likely would not have gotten a diagnosis, but just been seen as a little quirky, and would have learned through mimicking othersâ behaviors how to âpassâ as neurotypical in most situations.
Rose Nylund being autistic is important representation to me, a middle-aged autistic woman, because I frequently display many of the same traits as her: I have had to learn idioms and common phrases because I donât understand them intuitively (an example - I still picture literal butterflies in a stomach when someone uses the phrase), I have had to teach myself not to take things literally and to understand subtext, I frequently donât get the joke or unintentionally make myself into a punchline by saying something inappropriate or out of context. The media stereotype of an autistic person is a straight white male, usually relatively young, and so to see an older woman who is so clearly autistic reflects my reality, and goes against the common trope of autism. The Golden Girls was such a groundbreaking, timely and timeless television series, and autistic Rose Nylund just makes it that much more important.
RIP Betty White, and thank you for being a friend.