out of context souvenir programme

we knew this was coming eventually. based on the great sketch show john finnemore's souvenir programme, which you can listen to on the bbc here.

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The weather is unusually hot for February, but then of course, it is July.

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Mansard? Why, Mansard died in a murdering accident!

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His eyes darted around the compartment, like a lizard in a compartment.

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b waaa o o o o o o o o o o a o o o o o o o w  w w w  w  w 

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Simon Kane's lines were voiced by an actor. John Finnemore's lines should have been.

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If you’re listening to this since the radio waves from Earth finally reached a distant galaxy, then greetings aliens! We come in peace! (... Except for Margaret.)

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That's a disgrace against democracy, political correctness and maths.

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Pooh, we want to talk to you about your destructive relationship with honey.

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Graveyards hold no fear for me, as I’m descended from a long line of dead people.

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You can hear John Finnemore’s Souvenir Programme again!! And ...again. And again, and again. Endlessly re-echoing in the vault of your skull. What does it WANT from you!? Why will it not let you BE?! 

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The weather is unusually hot for February, but then of course, it is July.

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When the lamb of God makes a chair, it is of course the perfect expression of all that a chair could be. Including durable. Oh, and also, it swivels.

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And with that, boys and girls, Rufus the Magic Christmas Lion BIT THE AWFUL MAN’S HEAD OFF.

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Hello. Here on Poetry Please, we’re often asked for exactly the same poems again and again and again and again and again and again.

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Cats are indifferent to us and don’t care if we die.

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You see, that robot hedgehog might just be Queen Victoria.

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Towels in the sky mean ‘the end times are at hand’.