How to message women who post nudes on tumblr
♥ Firstly, remember EVERY WOMAN IS DIFFERENT and these are only general guidelines not rules guaranteed to get you a favourable response. If she doesn’t like your message and responds negatively, either apologise and shut up, or just shut up. Don’t insult her and don’t pester her. Even if you thought you were being polite, respect her boundaries. If you think she was unnecessarily rude, remember she probably receives a lot of disrespectful messages and her patience/tolerance may be low, so just let it go.
♥ Don’t ever, ever be less than favourable about her or any part of her body. Compliments only, although remember she is under no obligation to be flattered or grateful. You’re entitled to your opinion, but she’s entitled to not be interested in it. She isn’t necessarily looking for attention and she may just be posting her nudes for herself or for other women.
♥ Look through her tumblr archives and see how she responds to other asks. You should be able to get an idea of what kind of messages she likes and what she doesn’t. Don’t ask her something she gets asked all the time, or say something she’s clearly not comfortable with. For example, I like hearing that guys are wanking over me, but a lot of girls don’t. Don’t just assume she wants to hear what you have to say.
♥ Be brief. A simple “hi, I just wanted to say you’re really gorgeous and I love your boobs” or something is usually fine. Don’t send a lengthy message about your detailed fantasy of what you want to do to her (and don’t reblog her pictures with a caption like that either) – unless she’s asked to hear that kind of thing. By all means fantasise but keep it to yourself. She doesn’t need to hear it. Again, I personally like (brief!) messages about what you want to do to me, but a lot of girls don’t. Respect that.
♥ Just because she’s a sub/little etc doesn’t mean you can talk to her like she’s yours. If you’re not her daddy/master/etc, you don’t get to talk to her like you are.
♥ Don’t send her pictures of your dick unless she’s asked to see it. Don’t ask a stranger if she wants to see. If you’ve been talking a while and she’s being friendly, then maybe ask politely but if she says no, apologise and accept it gracefully.
♥ Don’t demand things – more pictures, snapchat/kik, etc. Ask politely, say please and thank you, and tell her you appreciate what she already shares. “u got kik” is not a polite message. “Hi, I love your pictures, I was just wondering if you had kik and if you’d like to chat some time. Thanks :)” is much better. (Again, this is just a guideline and not a guarantee of a favourable response.) On that note… Try and use correct spelling/grammar and use spell-check if you need to. The odd spelling mistake or typo isn’t the end of the world in an otherwise thoughtful and polite message, but a lazily typed message is just rude.
♥ If she is posting her nudes on a body-positive tumblr, not a sex/porn tumblr, then don’t say anything at all. Don’t reblog. Nudity/skimpy outfits does not equal porn, and she may not be comfortable receiving sexualising comments or having her picture on a porn blog next to explicit pictures. Similarly, if it’s not a clearly intentionally sexual pic and her tumblr is not sexual, don’t say anything and don’t reblog to your porn tumblr. I love hearing your comments over here on my sex tumblr, but it pisses me off to get sexualising comments on my non-sexual pictures on my personal social networking profiles. Context is really important.
♥ If she is a sex worker, you still need to be polite and respectful. (I’d like to think this goes without saying…) Still say thank you and be appreciative of the service she is providing. If she posts free nudes on her tumblr, consider buying her content, or something from her wishlist, to show your appreciation. If you can’t afford to, then at least be grateful for what she shares for free.
Girls, please feel free to reblog this with your thoughts, and add anything you think I’ve missed. If you think anything I’ve said is problematic or wrong please let me know. Guys, if you have any questions about this or want some specific advice, feel free to ask me :)
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