We Say Some Weird Shit

all the bullshit i hear in the schoolyard • i accept submissions • she/her

[overheard-at-highschool]

A, eating cake: No wonder Marie Antoinette didn't give a fuck, this shit is good

[overheard-at-highschool]

student 1: so not everything is made of matter?

student 2: yeah, you don’t matter

[overheard-at-highschool]

teacher: *sings opera to get the students’ attention*

[overheard-at-highschool]

student: i have a question for you

student: *dabs*

[overheard-at-highschool]

student: *struggling to remember a word*

same student: *smack his head on the table*

[overheard-at-highschool]

“god really said ‘i’m bored let me make all these people so that i can ruin their lives”

[overheard-at-highschool]

“ding dong i’ve got a big schlong”

[overheard-at-highschool]

*two twelve year olds shorter than average having an argument in the classroom*

student: heads up it’s gonna be a midget fight

[overheard-at-highschool]

*about Preminger from the barbie movie* “if he wasn’t such a cunt. i’d smash”

[overheard-at-highschool]

student: i bought my first vape from a piercing place off a guy named patch. he’s called patch cause he always wears an eye patch

[overheard-at-highschool]

“will you be my discord kitten”

[overheard-at-highschool]

student 1: *bantering about how his friend used to live in hell and is on earth for redemption*

also student 1: he was in hell because he was selling bongs to Kim Jong Un

[overheard-at-highschool]

*violently shaking* “i have the sudden urge to twerk”

[overheard-at-highschool]

[about big boobs] “it’s both a blessing and a curse”

[overheard-at-highschool]

“life is meaningless and the pub is everything”

[overheard-at-highschool]

“i’m a slut for myself, i would have my own kids”

[overheard-at-highschool]

“if person b was a type of chip she would be these chips because they’re both salty as hell”