[redrola]

[overheardpilots]

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RAISE THE DEGREE

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Black Lives Matter.

No Justice No Peace.

[overheardpilots]

josh: i bet you’re wondering why i called you in today

josh: it’s because we need to have a discussion about how some people in this room aren’t getting along with other people in this room

tyler: why are you being so vague debby and i are the only ones here

[overheardpilots]

rosie, dressed as tyler: guess who won the ugliest costume contest at school!

tyler: :(

[overheardpilots]

tyler: if you are what you eat, then only cannibals are humans.

josh:

josh: please tell me you’re not a human

[overheardpilots]

josh: what do you call a cheese that isn’t yours?

tyler: i SWEAR you better fucking not-

josh: NACHO CHEESE

[overheardpilots]

tyler: you're so clingy

josh: YOU came into MY bed

[overheardpilots]

[on the phone]

mark: where are you?

josh: we’re at the hospital

mark: what happened?

josh: tyler swallowed a watermelon seed

mark: so? it’s not like a watermelon will grow in his stomach

josh:

josh: we’ll be back in ten minutes

[overheardpilots]

[texting]

josh: ASFHKGLJKL

tyler: what is that?

josh: it’s a laugh

tyler: how do i do that?

josh: just press any letter

tyler: 4

[overheardpilots]

jenna: why are there little hand prints on the wall?

tyler: [whispering] why are there little hand prints on the wall?

rosie : [whispering back] because i have little hands.

tyler: because she has little hands.

[overheardpilots]

jenna: HEY! IF YOU WANNA HURT TYLER, YOU'LL HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME FIRST!

tyler: oh, thanks babe!

jenna: ‘CAUSE I’M STILL MAD AT HIM, SO GET THE FUCK IN LINE!

[overheardpilots]

josh: we need to sleep

tyler: no, if we sleep before 2:30 we'll lose

josh: what the fuck are you talking about

[overheardpilots]

tyler: woah! what happened there? the last thing i remember is feeling very drowsy and tired. i can’t remember anything at all after that.

josh: yes, tyler. it’s called falling asleep. you do it every night.

[overheardpilots]

josh: tyler is my worst enemy. but as far as i know, he is his own worst enemy. technically the enemy of your enemy is your friend, so tyler is actually my friend. but, since he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy. so he’s my enemy. but—

[overheardpilots]

josh: can we get married?

tyler: for tax benefits?

josh: for love :(

[overheardpilots]

mark: you keep hugging josh when he's upset.

mark: next thing you know, he's going to fall in love with you. is that what you want?

tyler: [scoffing] is that what i want.

tyler, into a megaphone: yes.

[overheardpilots]

tyler: let’s get this bread!

jenna: you always say that, but you never come with me to do grocery shopping.

josh: that’s... that’s not what he meant...

[overheardpilots]

josh: if tyler says “that’s on periodt” one more fucking time i’m leaving this band

[at dinner]

tyler: jay has this test tomorrow and he’s really nervous...

josh: oh really? what’s it on?

tyler: ...it’s on periodt

josh:

josh: goodbye