One of the reasons I find Watakotshi so compelling has to do with his perception of good volleyball. His father whom he rarely saw as a child bequeathed him his love of volleyball; he affectionately tells him that he'll be content with whichever manner Wakatoshi develops a love for volleyball. Nevertheless, Wakatoshi assigns great meaning to what his father considered admirable: an ace that immunises his team to disappointment, who upheaves his team no matter what, and unquestionably turns a set into a point scored. He sets a standard for himself based on love, based on affection, based on a desire and longing for reconciliation with his father. If you think about it, he is in a sense emoting through volleyball.
Kiryū's arc got me thinking how Wakatoshi copes with the pressure of his position, how it affects him, and how he recuperates. Wakatoshi though stoic, isn't immune to feelings of frustration or fear. Few emotions slip by during his match with Karasuno: he is rendered anxious by Tsukkishima's relentless and deft blocking; thereby, his precision suffers. In regards to Shouyou especially he experiences various emotions; after having gauged Shouyou's abilities, he is simultaneously frustrated and offended that such an unrefined and lacking player could force his team to grabble for a victory that hitherto seemed definite. Although it may not be readily apparent, he is liable to experience lapses of concentration due to mounting pressure; as he is but a human afterall.
I think, for Wakatoshi, there's one path to be trodden, and one destination to be reached, there's a clarity to his perception of his future as a volleyball player that leaves no space for doubt.
Consider his pledge with Shirabu—
Use me mercilessly no matter what
His exceptional abilities exist in his mind to the benefit of the team, to the glory of the members who know undoubtedly that the points will come, that the ace will never fail them. Use me mercilessly; he alienates any attenuation, any concept of human fragility; he'll brutally be harnessed till his team is victorious. It is all, in the end, out of love, out of a connection long forged between him, his father, and volleyball.
It requires an immense power; an immense mental fortitude to be able to withstand and perpetuate such a feat.
In the manga, Kiryū (one of my favourite characters), a distinguished ace, has a similar self-imposed doctrine. Kiryū is shown to frequently suffer vicious internal lashings due to the expectations he sets for himself, and the consequent pressure. He lacks nothing in terms of technical abilities–in fact he ranks amongst the top three aces in Japan. Like Wakatoshi, he identifies strongly with the concept of a reliable ace; however, the constant pressure of shouldering all the burden, and being the focus of offence affect him deeply at some point, and he, only expectedly, breaks down. It may not be readily conceivable, but success and achievement do not come without cost; the ruthlessness accompanying fear of failure, the tremendous effort required to persevere, and the desire to appear complete, perfect, all eventually lay claim on one's identity, and the effort to fulfil them becomes increasingly more trying.
Kiryū's character receives a refinement from that experience, and thereafter, he motivates himself with the brilliance of other players he admires, rather than allow his perceived inferiority to crush him. I say perceived, because it may be what he thinks, but I genuinely find him a very strong and authentic character. It's no easy rebirth that from one's own ashes; nevertheless he does rise; he rises with a conviction and a power that enable him to better himself and support his team, and in my eyes that is a great triumph.
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