🇷🇺🇸🇹 🇦🇳🇩 🇸🇹🇦🇷🇩🇺🇸🇹.

[paarkcr-blog]

⋆txt  ✉ parker 🏍

poppy: people pay me to post shit on instagram and twitter omg

poppy: #ad #spon

parker: what?

parker: is that seriously your job?

parker: i thought you just wore all that designer shit and got your picture taken

[paarkcr-blog]

⋆txt  ✉ parker 🏍

poppy: they're not shitty they're actually pretty good quality but yes

poppy: i got 'em from one of my sponsors

poppy: also i got an edible arrangement from my dad so we can definitely split that bad boy

parker: sponsors???

parker: are you a girl scout now or something?

parker: do you have thin mints?

[paarkcr-blog]

⋆txt  ✉ parker 🏍

poppy: i would say so, bub

poppy: so are you gonna come hang out with me or no?

parker: yeah i'm on my way

parker: do you have any shitty valentine's day chocolates from anyone yet?

parker: i'm kinda hungry

[paarkcr-blog]

⋆txt  ✉ parker 🏍

poppy: good thing ur not the cops, amirite??

parker: i sure hope not

parker: otherwise i'm probably gonna have to get rid of that "harry potter and the cop lit on fire" shirt you got me last christmas huh?

[paarkcr-blog]

alvcrd:

“did you really ? well, shit, i wish i could say that surprises me, but it doesn’t. what made you slash his tires though ? nice. i’m going to ask around for it because just imagining someone as tiny as amelia trying to strip you is pretty damn funny. ah, fuck. i actually forgot about valentine’s day. uh, you think anyone would notice if i dip out on the holiday for another two days or so ?”

“the lido story’s not all that interesting, but holy fuck — amelia was climbing all over me. i didn’t think it was funny while it was happening, but i’ve seen the video and she looks way crazier than i do. the papers are calling it amelia’s wild ride. i saved the article if you wanna see, but, as for valentine’s day, i don’t see why you can’t skip out, but sierra might. i dunno. is she into all that mushy valentine’s day shit?”

[paarkcr-blog]

⋆txt  ✉ parker 🏍

poppy: why do you never want to hang out with me what have i ever done to you

parker: hey i would've said yes already if you hadn't lied about an emergency

parker: you know you can go to jail if you do that to 911

[paarkcr-blog]

⋆txt  ✉ parker 🏍

poppy: parker

poppy: parker it's taking everything in me to not Full Name you right now

poppy: a shark is not an amphibian oh my god

parker: well

parker: whatever it is, is it in your apartment?

parker: did it take your leg?

[paarkcr-blog]

⋆txt  ✉ parker 🏍

poppy: fine you don't have to bring me ice cream

poppy: i can just use postmates

poppy: but i'm bored and i want company

parker: haven't we gone over you only texting me about an emergency when there's

parker: you know

parker: an /actual/ emergency?

parker: an actual emergency is your leg falling off or finding a shark in your apartment

parker: is your leg falling off?

parker: is there a fucking amphibian in your apartment?

[paarkcr-blog]

pcppies:

“so,” poppy echoed. she sighed, pulling her hand out of the sand and letting it slip through the spaces between her fingers. it was bright out now and she cursed herself for leaving her sunglasses in the car. it didn’t matter much, though, because they should be getting up and heading to breakfast at this point. she didn’t really want to leave, though. this was the most relaxing she’d been able to do in weeks and it wasn’t really enough. “we should eat,” she suggested, sitting up. she pulled her knees up to her chin and flipped over her phone to check the time: 7:08 am. she had a few texts and emails that needed to be read, but they could wait. “also what d'you wanna do after breakfast?” she asked, her eyes squinted as she looked over at parker.

parker stood up as poppy began to stir, arms lifting high above his head as he stretched and sighed. their next stop, as always, would be breakfast at the golden pear, a posh little cafe that they both loved. “we could go for a joyride,” he suggested with a roguish grin, sauntering over to a recycling bin and tossing the glass bottle inside. ( this was the hamptons, after all, where scheming and embezzlement was acceptable but littering would be punished mercilessly. or, at least, that’s how it was in parker’s experience, because of course he had experience with the local law enforcement ). the seemingly endless stretch of sand came to a sudden stop right where the pavement began, and parker could see that a few people had already began their day, driving through the pristine roads or walking quietly and demurely along the sidewalks.

[paarkcr-blog]

⋆txt  ✉ parker 🏍

poppy: can you bring me ice cream?

parker: ✓ read 9:26 pm

[paarkcr-blog]

⋆txt  ✉ parker 🏍

poppy: a. it's jonas

poppy: b. i'm offended

poppy: c. no it's an actual emergency

parker: well if there's one thing i've learned over the years, it's that the emergency can't be that serious if you can stop to correct me on something right in the middle of it

parker: but tell me about it anyway

[paarkcr-blog]

⋆txt  ✉ parker 🏍

poppy: sos sos sos

parker: is this an emergency or do you just want to talk about the jonah brothers again?

[paarkcr-blog]

alvcrd:

okay, so sorry for falling off the face of the earth for the past couple days. i just needed some alec time. took a little trip up to boston with my uncle, got some shit done, & now hopefully things are going to be easier. or at least i hope it would be, but whatever. anyway ! i also picked up a new hobby in photography — yeah, i’ve turned into one of THOSE people.

“well, i don’t think you missed much that really needed to be photographed; maybe just lido’s car. i slashed his tires on cami’s birthday — oh, and amelia tried to rip my clothes off, but i think someone actually got a video of that. aren’t you a lucky bastard, though, getting back just in time to have no excuse for skimping out on valentine’s day?”

[paarkcr-blog]

vclentincs:

“ okay, okay, wait, let’s clear something up first – when we do this, you’re not going to ditch me so you can inspect the tires or some shit and geek out about it, okay? i’d much rather your fingers be somewhere else that’s not under the hood of his car. got it? ”

“oh, so you’re bossy now. well, while you’re at it, might as well tell me where my fingers should be and what i should do to you — not because i don’t already know or anything, but so i can drive you crazy by doing the exact opposite to you until you really do think i’m the devil.”

[paarkcr-blog]

plsmatthew:

“nah, i don’t waste my time on those sites you love so much, my guy. even if it was true, it would only show up based on my youtube history, which consist of puppy videos, ellen, and the occasional movie trailer. 

“eh. i’m more into actually going out and meeting people and i don’t even have a computer. you can do anything you want from your phone nowadays anyway, right? maybe someone over at youtube thought you might wanna switch things up a little. how into kinky sex are you right now, exactly?”

[paarkcr-blog]

plsmatthew:

i was trying to show a video to grace on youtube and the trailer for fifty shades popped up, and i’m surprised i didn’t shatter the screen from hard i closed it. i feel bad ‘cause i scared her a little bit but i panicked! can we just fast forward a couple months so this movie will stop being relevant? 

“don’t all the advertisements you get on the internet these days come from your search history? sounds like the real question here is what the fuck were you doing on your computer that made it think you would wanna see stuff about kinky sex and...whatever the fuck else that movie’s about?”

[paarkcr-blog]

* &. iMSG ➝ riley❤️

VAL: maybe, is it working?

VAL: what if i said i wanted to fuck you in my 1969 boss 429 mustang??

VAL: and that i'd let you drive it afterwards

PARKER: shit

PARKER: i can't believe you're dating me

PARKER: you know word on the street is that you can do better than me, right?