[hon3ymo0n]

It’s giving finding your parents’ old photo album full of grainy and vivid pictures and stolen spontaneous shots from their honeymoon back in the ‘90s we were happy young clueless lifelong accomplices and partners

[thoughtsonkm]

"I can't believe that it's finally me and you and you and me, just us and your friend Steve!" 🎶

[gimbapchefs]

your average jimin x jungkook interaction

[jkvjimin]

PARK JIMIN??? JEON JUNGKOOK???? HELLO?????????

[chimchimmarie]

Your Hotness, Park Jimin

[lesbiancrowley]

I’ve seen a lot of people struggle with the idea of Compulsory Heterosexuality, especially in wondering wether they might be a lesbian, and what the signs of compulsory heterosexuality are. I decided to make this post, to help out anyone who might need it. Some of these signs might apply more to bi-identifying women, and some of them might apply more to straight-identifying women. I asked both lesbians who used to think they were straight about their experience with comp het and lesbians who used to think they were bi about their experience with comp het, and of course added my own experiences. Warnings: mentions of sex and sexual fantasies, but nothing graphic. Special thanks to michael @snugly and all other bloggers that answered my questions and let me use their content for this post - your advice, patience and generosity means a lot to me. 

You might be a lesbian if:

You wish you were a lesbian so you could escape the discomfort of dating men.

Men are okay in theory but terrible in practice.

You feel like you could live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you can’t imagine doing anything sexual with a woman.

You feel like you could enjoy sexual interaction with a woman, even if you can’t imagine having romantic feelings for a woman.

You lose interest in a man as soon as they seem interested in you - very common.

You find yourself trying to be romantically or sexually appealing to men even if you’re not interested in them.

As a child you always thought you’d either never get married or platonically marry a friend.

You can’t imagine having a happy and fulfilling future with a man.

You feel like you’re performing your attraction to men, for yourself and/or other people.

You expect relationships with men to be unfulfilling by default.

You like the idea of men being attracted to you, but you dislike the idea of being attracted to men.

You dislike being attracted to men in general.

You only notice the attractiveness of a man when someone else points it out.

You think your feelings for women don’t count, or that all women have feelings “like that” but that they’re not valid because you think it’s a phase everyone goes through.

You don’t want to date men, but you feel like you have to.

You think that because you could survive dating, marrying, and/or having sex with a man, you’re attracted to men (hint: you don’t have to settle for just surviving).

You think it’s objective and uncontested that almost all women are way more attractive than most men. 

The men in your fantasies are faceless or symbolise an emotion. 

You don’t like fantasising about men. After fantasising about men you feel uncomfortable or wrong.

When fantasising about men, you’re not really into the man in your fantasy, or the fantasy itself. You imagine another woman in place of yourself or imagine that you’re the man in the fantasy.

Lesbian or gay feels like the label for you but you still doubt yourself for whatever reason. 

You’re only attracted to fictional men, celebrities, or man that are completely unattainable (i.e. your teacher, gay men, men in established relationships). Basically, you only like men if it’s impossible for them to like you back - very common.

You prefer/are exclusively attracted to “feminine” men, (i.e. men that wear traditionally feminine clothing, have traditionally feminine behaviors or appearances, and like traditionally feminine things) basically you only like men if they’re “womanly” enough. 

You’re repulsed by the dynamics of most/all real life m/f relationships you’ve seen and/or regularly feeling like “maybe it works for them but I never want my relationship to be like that”.

You think you might commitment-phobic because no relationship, no matter how great the guy, feels quite right and you drag your feet when the time comes to escalate it.

When you do escalate a relationship with a man, you do it mostly because you feel like he wants to, or because it’s the appropriate thing to doy.

You think your interest in seeing attractive women stems from the sexualisation and objectification of women in media.

You think all straight women feel attraction to women to at least some extent (hint: 100% straight women do exist).

You think you have to learn how to love men. 

You find yourself wishing you were a lesbian because it’d be so much easier to just be with women for the rest of your life. 

You think men-attracted women over-exaggerate their attraction to men and you can’t comprehend finding a man as attractive as they do. 

You can’t imagine being so invested in a man/relationship with a man or valuing a man/relationship with a man as much as men-attracted women.

You dread the idea of a future with a man.

Men expressing their attraction to men is more relatable than women expressing their attraction for men (there’s something specific about same-gender attraction that any form of it is just more relatable than different gender attraction).

You think you just have to give men a chance. 

You feel very uncomfortable reading or watching m/f erotica, or even just general m/f romantic interactions.

Other people tell you you’re acting like an over-invested lesbian ally or you feel like you are acting like an over-invested lesbian ally. 

You think your relationships with men don’t work out because you’re bad at relationships in general.

You think you just have high standards and that’s why you don’t want to date any men.

You think you’re just a late bloomer and will be attracted to men eventually.

You just. Pick a dude at random to be attracted to. 

The only men you’re attracted to are those who hurt you, harass you, or abuse you. 

You think it’s impossible for lesbians to have a happy future with women but you think you could be the exception to the rule (this ties in with internalised homophobia). 

Do you love them because they’re your boyfriend or are they your boyfriend because you love them? If it’s the first, you might not actually be attracted to them.

You go through past memories trying to prove your attraction to men (”But I had a boyfriend when I was 13!”).

You put yourself through having romantic or sexual relationships with men to prove to yourself and other people that you’re attracted to men. 

You know that lesbians exist but you think you can’t possibly be one of them because if you were, you’d know already - very common. 

You think you’re attracted to men but just don’t want to date them.

You don’t like kissing/touching/having sex with your husband/boyfriend or you’re not attracted to your husband/boyfriend but it must be because he’s not the one for you (or another excuse). 

Most of your experiences with men are/were men being attracted to you, and you sort of going along with it. 

You only develop attraction to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to them. 

You find yourself wishing you could just have one hot fling with a woman just to try it out, or fantasise about it. 

You think attraction is just “not being disgusted by a man”.

You enjoy consuming f/f erotica a lot more than any other type, and find fantasising about women a lot more satisfying than any other fantasy. 

You crave “platonic” physical contact with your female friends but wish that men would just leave you alone.

You’re only attracted to men whose attention would somehow be profitable (i.e. men in positions of power such as your boss).

Deciding who to be attracted to, or asking people who you should crush on.

You try to pursue your feelings for other women through going on “platonic dates” with women and “practising on women”. 

You think you’re too young/busy to be attracted to men or have a fulfilling relationship with a man. 

“I would totally date [x woman] if they were a guy!! ! !!”

You have abstract crushes that you don’t actually want to progress into romantic and/or sexual relationships - very common.

You date men because it’s what you’re supposed to do, and stay with them because you can’t find a good reason to break up.

You really want to be a lesbian and only date women but feel like you can’t because of some lingering, vague idea of attraction to men, but the idea of dating a man is distressing, gross, upsetting, boring, unsatisfying or makes you feel trapped.

Being very specific with the men you’re “interested” in but having absolutely no type when it comes to girls because they’re all so beautiful.

Your favourite character in every show is that one gay-coded or butch-looking woman (examples: Shego from Kim Possible, Spinelli from Recess, Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica).

You wish your boyfriend/husband was more like a female friend.

You can flip on your attraction to men like a switch - very common.

These are the most common signs of comp het, but there are other ways comp het manifests than just these ways! You don’t have to relate to all of these to identify as a lesbian. You might be reading this and start to question yourself. This is okay. I recommend emerging yourself in sapphic content to normalise the idea of f/f attraction. Try reading f/f (fan)fiction or novels, watching films and/or tv shows with f/f couples, and following some lesbian/sapphic themed accounts here on tumblr and other platforms (beware of terfs! check a persons account befor you follow them). Other than that, I’d like to assure you that even though you currently have a boyfriend, a husband, or had one in the past, that this does not make you any less of a lesbian. If you’ve had sex with men, you’re not any less of a lesbian. You can still be a lesbian if you’re a trans woman or a nonbinary woman-aligned person, or if you feel connected to womanhood through your love of other women. Lesbian is not a dirty word and you are beautiful.  If you have any further inquiries or questions, don’t hesitate to shoot me an ask! I’ll be happy to answer all of them.

[sensicalabsurdities]

not to take away from this post (because i’m sure all of this is very true for lesbians!), but just to add some clarity in the case of someone like me, who had some very strange mixed reactions o this and only ended up getting more confused before i thought it out rationally – if only the things about (lack of) attraction to men resonate with you, but the bits about being attracted to women don’t ring a bell, that could also be a sign that you’re asexual and/or aromantic. I stared at this post for a while wondering if I was actually gay because all of the stuff about forcing myself to like guys rang so true, but then I realized that it also rang true for my relationships with women.

Again! Not trying to co-opt a lesbian post, I just thought it was an important addition in the interest of as many people figuring themselves out as possible.

[sugawara--san]

what's the funniest scene in haikyuu and why is it the bathroom scene w hinata iwaoi ushiwaka and aone

[hon3ymo0n]

Never would have believed, in my entire life time, I was ever gonna need to say something like this and talk about someone else’s health choices in 2023, but here I am: this is for the anons complaining about Jungkook smoking.

There are a few and they’re all quite aggressive and/or very disrespectful towards Jungkook. Some of you insult him like he’s your best friend, your classmate; like he doesn’t have a dignity anymore.

So I’m sorry for addressing your asks without publishing them, I know you send them to get the weight off your chest, express your thoughts, and see what others have to say about it, and I genuinely think some of you were just coming from a place of genuine diversity. Different points of view, cultures, mindsets, compared to mine; but I don’t want that stuff on my page and don’t feel like sharing your ramblings through it anyways. We can beat about the bush, but that’s still offensive, after all.

A lot of you mentioned young Jungkook innocently asking his dad to stop smoking, in that famous clip from 2015; you answered yourself.

Doesn’t matter how you look at it, that clip answers your questions. People change and grow up, their lives evolve, stuff happens. I don’t need to tell you this. So as soon as time passed by and Jungkook grew up, he understood his father’s behaviour: passing from a normal cigarette to a vape (as he was asking his dad to do) is hard itself, imagine completely quitting. We should have worried, at the time, if a 15 years old boy was not concerned about his father’s health; but since that’s not the case, we have nothing to worry about anymore.

Jungkook is not incoherent, for two reasons, and I’ll tell you them: because you can’t blame someone for now doing something they didn’t approve 10 years before, during their literal development life phase, and because 26 years old Jungkook, just like the 15 one, perfectly knows the health risks and complications someone (himself included!) could face and go through due to smoking.

And this is the whole point too. It’s what I said about Jimin, some posts ago: he knows the body’s anatomy, the aftercare it needs when you move it, stress it, use it, the safest way to do said things; still, he overworks it, goes on strict diets, dances through pain and cramps. Knowing≠applying said knowledge on yourself.

Has the thought that maybe, just maybe, out of curiosity, the smoking habit Jungkook developed (depending on its severity level) is something he can no longer completely control, ever crossed your mind? And that maybe that’s why we saw a vape in his wlive, once? Because when you have an addiction (again, depending on its severity level!) you at least try to look for the less-harming (relatively to what is and stays an addiction, of course) and long-term sustainable way to live with it (such as prefering vape when possible)?

If you really ask me why I feel uncomfortable talking about this, every reason coming to my mind seems so obvious, such as the fact that we’re talking about a cigarette, not a murder; such as what’s for me an inconceivable smoking stigma being so rooted in the k-pop world (expecially and particularly when it comes to worldwide artists such as BTS: a lot of idols openly smoke and drink, but they get a special and lucky pass), and which literally leads people to heavily hate or even leave an idol because of it; the fact that this discussion is way bigger than the one started with Yoongi’s smoking (was there even a discussion, back then, at all?); such as the problematic “relationship” (for lack of better terms, excuse me) you all have with Jungkook and the problematic ways you talk about him or criticize him. You feel personally touched when he shows up differently, in any context and way, to the point you ask me “where’s the Jungkook I used to know”. This is not normal.

But if you ask me for the main reason why I feel uncomfortable talking about this, is because I don’t know Jungkook. Smoking is and has been, directly and not, part of my life, and from the stupid teenager who tried it for fun to the 50 unhappily employed man, there’s always something unpleasant that led them to bring that damn cigarette to their mouths. Personal experience as well, but I’m not here to share it.

Not knowing Jungkook means we don’t know what goes on his mind. His worries and stress stimulators, his ups and downs, his problems. This is really something I should not be talking about because that’s a line I don’t feel like crossing, at all. I do with other members, who have even more openly shared their struggles with us in the past, but not with Jungkook. I have way too many thoughts and assumptions and sharing unfounded opinions related to a smoking habit seems just wrong. But again, I think you’ll convey with me on this, actively smoking is not a “simple choice”, once you’re into it, and it’s not easy to leave behind; whatever made you start and makes you keep doing it, you’re doing it. You’re consciously doing something that hurts you. This should be enough for you to close your mouths, stop your thumbs on that keyboard, and show some respect, for once. Some politeness and human decency.

But here we are with the “he’s doing it because it’s cool”, which is something I’d like to talk about too. The problem is here as well: what if Jungkook chose to do it because it feels cool, fun? What if he’s a so called “social smoker”? You see, I strongly don’t think that’s the case at all. That’s bullshit, to me, as a concept itself, and applyed on Jungkook too; but this hypothetical scenario still shows the problem you all have with Jungkook, with BTS as a group: you project big expectations on them, build an image of them in your head, percieve them in a way that makes you feel comfortable (even if far from reality), and then you feel lost and mad and sad and angry and disappointed when he/they act out of the scheme YOU made on your own, and placed them in.

Change scares you, and it shows. Deeply, I strongly believe people feel disoriented: the unknown and unexpected, the puppy boy who has gay sex, drinks, smokes, gets tattoos, piercings, goes live shirtless, the cute little maknae you built in your head who is actually 26 years old, makes you feel lost.

I really don’t want to psychoanalyze Jungkook’s smoking habit because I’m no expert to do so, and because we don’t need to. Not because “everyone smokes, it’s normal”: smoking should not be normalized; not because “he’s hot when he smokes, we like this new era”: we don’t need to talk about it because that’s not what should make us change opinion about someone, revalue our support for them, how much we care about them, if we want the best for them or not.

In less words, if Jungkook smoking makes you feel like you can’t stan him anymore, you don’t want to hear of him anymore, you “can’t recognize him” anymore, you have the right to distance yourself from anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, of course, and you have the right to don’t like it: we all have the right to think and say “I don’t like him smoking”; but you also need to know you probably never really stanned him, wanted to hear of him, recognized him, at all. You could only stand what resonated with the idea you had of him in your head. And you need to know that there’s a big difference between that, above, and the way you tend to talk about/refer to Jungkook, in general. Expecially lately.

Last but not least, don’t even try to drag Jimin into this, tho: you know that doesn’t make sense. You know that smokers have partners, friends, that this prejudice about them is stupid, and that the only reason why you feel even worse is because not only Jungkook smokes, but Jimin dates him anyways. As he should. We’re talking about love. A cigarette can not ruin it, practically.

That’s it, I guess. I feel like I’ve not been clear and I didn’t explain myself well. You know when something is so obvious for you, that you even struggle with putting your thoughts and arguments together?

It’s like people asking “why do you think Jikook are dating?”. I’d be like: “it’s there, it’s here, it’s literally in front of us. Don’t you see it?”.

Don’t you see it, guys? That arguing over another human being smoking looks dumb and childish? That at this point, we should all just look at ourselves and all the unhealthy things we do (consciously and not)? Don’t you see that you’re doing what Jungkook exactly wanted you to do: leaving him right when he shows you new and “scandalous” parts of himself, so that those who accept him, accept him, and those who leave him…

Leave him?

The right people know this post is for them and I hope they’ll at least give a chance to a different point of view. I tried, I really tried. Maybe I failed, but I tried😑

[jung-koook]

summary of jungkook in 2022 (2021 ver.) (2020 ver.) (2019 ver.) 

bonus:

[kimtaegis]

we get it, he’s yours (cr. namuspromised)

[dirtsnakes]

spotify wrapped is coming up so heres the obligatory PSA: i care. i want to see it. mutuals, post it. rando’s? let me know!!!! you listen to that? fuck me too! i care i care! post them!

[doyouknowwhatimeme]

[jellybeanium124]

SHUT UP ABOUT THE PASSAGE OF TIME

SHUT UP. ABOUT THE PASSAGE OF TIME

[slcpunkmoved]

making bad art and dressing weirdly and collecting random things and listening to silly music is actually so important

[jimimn]

color ; freedom Me, Myself & Jimin ID : Chaos

[filmouts]

#maknae liners triple attack combo 🥵 [cr.]

[sandersstudies]

Me finding out that alcohol did actually solve a problem one time: *pointing a stern finger at myself* do NOT be stupid about this

[sandersstudies]

When you're a perfectionist and have executive dysfunction the impulsivity of alcohol can make you do wild silly things like actually complete a task without agonizing over it for an hour. This is obviously not a functional or sustainable system but it is now an emergency tool in my belt that I recommend to absolutely nobody.

[sandersstudies]

Everyone in the notes is like “Me too. Don’t try this tho.”

[lawblrwithalcohol]

See also: -getting to sleep and staying asleep through the night -socializing at a party -dealing with your family during the holidays for 96 hours straight

[weltenwellen]

Jonice Webb, Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect