a speculative analysis of mupproduction (muppet reproduction), with sources
The method by which muppets procreate is not well-known to most. There are a few individuals with firsthand knowledge of muppet sexual behavior, and I will be relying on these primary sources (namely the blog of @the-muppet-joker) for this essay.
However, many of these reports are directly contradictory. To isolate the truth, or approximate it, we must first identify the facts.
Fact 1: Muppets are capable of pregnancy, and can procreate with other species.
It has been repeated over and over that muppets are capable of pregnancy.
It is an inviolable fact that muppets are capable of pregnancy.
Fact Two: Muppets have one sexual opening.
Waste is NOT excreted through the Muppet Hole, and under normal circumstances, there is no digestion. The Muppet Hole is mostly for sexual and reproductive purposes, with occasional intake of nutrients as a secondary purpose.
Fact Three: Eggs are involved.
Now, into the realm of speculation.
1) How does an egg-laying species successfully conceive a pregnancy with a mammalian species?
Here is where I drop a hypothesis that may change the face of muppology forever.
I assert that muppets are monotremes (egg-laying mammals).
Think about it: it lines up with what we know. Both muppets and monotremes have:
A single opening for digestion, impregnation, and birth (a cloaca)
Lower base body temperature (muppets are made of felt)
Variations in anatomical structure between subspecies
And of course, most importantly, muppets and monotremes both lay eggs as opposed to bearing live young.
This is of course not conclusive, and more research is desperately needed.
Counterargument: Muppets menstruate. Monotremes do not.
Rebuttal: Muppstruating is a slang term. Muppets do not traditionally menstruate.
Like cats, rabbits, and ferrets, muppets are induced ovulators--rather than a monthly cycle, ovulation is based on state of mind or sexual opportunity rather than rote biological timing.
In conclusion, it is very plausible that muppets are mammals of the order monotremata. Despite contradictory evidence regarding menstruation, it is clear that, since muppets lay eggs and do not give live birt
fuck. god. okay. nevermind. whatever. fuck. post canceled. i give up
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