āThereās something in us that is very much attracted to madness. Everyone who looks off the edge of a tall building has felt at least a faint, morbid urge to jumpā
ā Stephen King, The Ballad of the Flexible BulletĀ
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@paigepanda96
āThereās something in us that is very much attracted to madness. Everyone who looks off the edge of a tall building has felt at least a faint, morbid urge to jumpā
ā Stephen King, The Ballad of the Flexible BulletĀ
Another day had passed. Just like the one before. Ā Now even the sunrise and sunset felt like a programmed loop, just like everything she did between those two points.
But god, oh god why did you give me a such a pure & fragile heart and a life full of nothing but people that destroy me.
-DR (04.09.2023 Iām always the one that cares more, Iām always the one that sees the best in people with no good sides why do I make homes here)
Why is it that when people hurt me I then get the urge to hurt myself even more?
It's quiet in the morning
The first time we wake apart
I never thought I had to see
This moment come around
Your side of the bed is empty
Leaving a cold absence behind
I think my heart is empty too
It's hard to tell in denial
Devoured by Despair
In a moment of profound self-loathing and despair, I found myself consumed by an overwhelming urge to destroy the very essence of my being. It was a feeling that had been building within me for months, perhaps even years, and now it had reached a crescendo that could no longer be ignored. And so, with a sense of grim determination, I began to eat myself, bite by bite. It was a slow, methodical process, as though I was savoring each morsel of my own flesh, relishing in the pain and suffering that it brought.
At first, it was a small bite here and there, nothing too noticeable or extreme. But as I continued, I became more and more consumed by the urge to destroy myself, until it felt like there was nothing left of me but a hollow shell, waiting to be devoured.
The tears came easily, wave after cowardly wave, as I bit into my own flesh, relishing in the pain and the release that it brought. It was a grotesque act, a perversion of everything that I had once held dear, but in that moment, it felt like the only thing that made any sense.
As I consumed myself, I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into a pit of despair, unable to see a way out of the darkness that had enveloped me. But even as the tears washed over me, and the waves of sorrow threatened to pull me under, I knew that I could not stop. To do so would be to give up, to admit defeat in the face of the darkness that threatened to consume me.
And so I continued to eat myself, bite by painful bite, until there was nothing left but a shell of the person that I had once been. It was a dark and twisted act, one that I knew could never be undone, but in that moment, it felt like the only way to find some measure of peace in a world that had become so consumed by darkness.
ā Syden
Just want someone to hold me while I ugly cry. Is that too much to ask?
thought puke 1 | 4.14.23
DISCLAIMER!!! if you relate to any of this post and want to talk about it, I will listen, I am here for you<3
loneliness is such a funny feeling. it feels like the very second right before your stomach drops on a free fall rollercoaster like disneyās tower of terror or universalās dr doom. your falling deep and far down a rabbit hole but you cant feel anything in your body except that feeling of emptiness in just a singular stomach as it on the cusp of falling. a whole body pf intricate systems of blood, cell, tissue, organs organ systems, all intertwined and you can only manage to feel your fucking stomach sink. and all the feeling is completely unsettling, but the truly gut wrenching thing there is about being lonely. is the external factors. out of body experiences that arenāt in the control of your thoughts and systems. like being in a room full of people and having no one to talk to. you cant help that shit, all you can do is accept it as its acids burn your insides and poison your brain. like wanting your mom to take off of work to see you but instead she decides to run errands with her time instead. you donāt make her decisions, you cant do any fucking thing about it, you just let it hurt even though your whole body feels numb. you cant feel it but you think its burning. your body begins to tremble and cry because yourāe on fire, and no one around you notices to help put that fire out. you sit and you burn in this lonely. wishing you were anyone but yourself, someone pretty, someone skinnier, some happier, and the most sad of all, someone lovable. but you arenāt. and the people around you make you feel like you never will be. part of you questions if they only see you as there sidekick, there when they need you but nonexistent when they donāt. in all honesty, you wish that was the case. you wish that you could just dis-exist for the times your alone. because they are scary. yourāe on fire, and youāre trembling and crying, and your brain is being poisoned by acids, and you cant feel anything in your body except for your empty stomach the second before its about to drop. you are lonely. its dark.
written by @thotpuke
Just waiting I donāt know if death brings something different but Iām not counting on it.
I am never going to put the same energy to someone like I did for you.
You ruined this for me.
āDonāt expect so much from people.ā
ā
Joy someone needs to give sadness a warm hug
he's the only man that exists to me...