I'm Sorry. @painfulimperfections - Tumblr Blog

infinitears

refiningfire

the-moon-whisperer

mangafascination

imaconflictedcontradiction

“People always ask me why I don’t want to be married or why I don’t want kids. I tell them that marriage is a piece of paper and kids are a waste of money. I tell them marriage makes it harder to break up when it inevitably happens and that I hate kids. I tell them I’m a pessimist. I tell them that I’m fine with being alone. When I’m not.

I’d love to be that bride that walks down the isle in a big white dress and be the mum that buys the cutest baby clothes because she can’t help it. I’d love to have a husband who I can lie with every night after reading our child a bedtime story. I want that white picket fence with the happy family on the inside. But I can’t. I can’t have any of that.

See I tell people that marriage is a piece of paper and kids are a waste of time because it lowers their expectations; but it also lowers mine.

If I say it enough maybe I’ll actually start to believe it. If I say it enough maybe I won’t be disappointed when it never happens. If I say it enough maybe I won’t care that I’ll end up alone.

I’m not someone who gets looked at. I’m not that girl that gets asked on a date. I’m no ones first choice. I’m not that tall blond girl with nice boobs and a flat stomach. I’m not eye candy. I’m just me. I’m depressed and suicidal. I hate my body and I hate my brain. I’ve never looked at myself and thought I looked good. I’m just me. And me will never be good enough to love.”

I’ll always be alone