Venting

Just a place to get everything off my chest 18+

[painfulpastels]

Blog Intro

Name: Pastel

Pronouns: She/They

Age: 18+

This blog is my vent blog and I will talk about topics that may be uncomfortable to some. If any of the following is triggering to you, I’d recommend not interacting with this blog and blocking me:

•S//H

•E//D

•Sui Ideation

•Sex work

•Jirai Kei

•Pro-shipping/Dark-Shipping

•and potentially more

[painfulpastels]

my irl anti-ship friend is pissing me off a little. I’ve known they were antiship for a while but it hasn’t really been an issue between us. i don’t bring up my pro-ship stuff with them unless prompted and i don’t ask them about their anti-ship stuff usually so for our whole friendship this difference of opinion hasn’t really been an issue. but recently we went to a con together and for the most part it was fine, but there were just a couple things the irked me so badly.

so at the con, there was an 18+ little hidden section and out of curiosity we all went in together. we were looking around and i found something called school girl milk or something along those lines and i picked it up out of curiosity because i honestly had no clue what that could even be (it was just sexy school girl themed mini figures). my friend starts going off about how they’re literal children and getting all weird about it. they aren’t even loli figures either, just school girls in uniform. keep in mind this friend’s favorite anime is my dress-up darling, a show with a shit ton of fan service of a 15 year old school girl, a 17 year old loli school girl, and a really busty middle schooler. This friend had been buying tons of merch of Marin from dress-up darling, including suggestive figures of her.

anyway, later we were eating together and we somehow got on the topic of how her and her girlfriend are into roleplay in the bedroom and how the roleplay as like a bully x victim and the victim was like yandere for the bully and like killed her and brought her back to life as like a frankenstein monster type things. that reminded me of a few months ago when we met this couple at the mall and me and a different friend had merch of andy and leyley with us and the girl in the couple was talking to us about it and at one point made a joke about her and her boyfriend looking like andy and leyley. the couple left and my friend turned to me and my other friend and was like “that’s weird. why is a couple comparing themselves to incestuous siblings? like what if they’re roleplay that in the bedroom”. i kinda just moved past it, even though it felt kinda shitty to hear since incest dynamics are sometimes i’m into in roleplay/fiction. but besides that, how are they into roleplaying abuse and necrophilia but they judge incest roleplay, lolis, and schoolgirls (but only sometimes)? i just don’t understand. like i could get if they were just uncomfortable and didn’t want to interact. that’s perfectly reasonable, but why are they so judgmental when people could very easily judge their kinks as well? they’re throwing stones from a glass house.

honestly this friend just reminds me so much of how i used to act as an anti and the hypocrisy is just so irritating now that im on the other side. i want to call them out on their hypocrisy but i worry that would just cause an argument with no productive end and i don’t feel like damaging our friendship over this so i guess i just need to let it go but i at least needed to get it off my chest somewhere first

[painfulpastels]

i see a lot of misinformation spreading around about menhera, yami-kawaii, & jirai kei so i wanted to clear a couple things up and go over a brief history of these terms.

menhera- originated from a 2chan board (japanese equivalent of 4chan) and originally meant mental healther, as in someone who actively does things for their mental health. eventually this term got into to mainstream culture in japan and the definition started to change. now in japan it’s usually used to refer to a person who’s needy, clingy, dependent on others and usually has some unhealthy coping mechanisms like self-harm, drug, alcohol etc. in japan it’s usually used as synonymous to saying someone is yandere or jirai. in western online spaces, menhera tends to be used as it’s original definition and has a pro-recovery connotation to it. in both western and japanese spaces, menhera also has a fashion connected to it, but the fashion has become less associated with the word over the years.

Yami Kawaii- a term coined by bisuko ezaki. literally translates to sick/dark cute. mostly associated with bisuko ezaki and his manga, menhera-chan. yami kawaii is used mostly to describe a type of cute vent art (sometimes people will call the art menhera too) or a fashion style.

jirai/jirai-kei- translates to landmine type. used to describe someone who looks cute but blows-up over little things often used as synonymous with menhera. there is also a fashion associated with jirai. i’ve seen some people claiming jirai means the lifestyle/mentality and jirai kei means the fashion but in japan, both are used to describe the fashion or the mentality depending on context. in western online spaces, it’s usually seen as the anti-recovery counterpart to menhera’s pro-recovery. in japan, it doesn’t really have a pro or anti recovery lean either way.

[souljams]

respectfully, a lot of the information here is factually incorrect.

the insulting version of menhera is not “menhera” by itself. the insult is “menhera kei”.

menhera is still used as its original meaning in japan, too. (see again that “menhera kei” is the insult, not “menhera.”)

“yami kawaii” was explicitly supposed to “replace” menhera when it was coined by menhera-chan’s creator, because he believed that “menhera culture didn’t exist”, and that “menhera is a bad word”.

the vent art in question has been associated with menhera long before it was associated with yami kawaii.

jirai kei is not a fashion style. this came from a Western misunderstanding where people assumed “kei” means “fashion” when it really means “type of person”. the fashion style that is associated with jirais is known as “dark girly”.

jirai is not synonymous with menhera, but it is an ableist insult like “menhera kei”.

jirai is also very much known as anti-recovery in japan.

if you’re going to make a post attempting to correct misinformation, please make extra-sure that the information you offer is correct! 🩷

[painfulpastels]

i got all this information from talking to my friends that are japanese and live in japan, ones that are both in and outside these subcultures as well as reading information by japanese people on social media and news articles about jirai and menhera.

• menhera is very much used as an insult by your average japanese person and i have never once heard any of my friends use menhera kei instead of menhera. menhera is sometimes used as it’s original meaning in japan, but your average person is going to think about the menhera stereotype first than the subculture. words change in meaning over time and menhera has a very different connotation in japan than it did when the word was first created. i even got called menhera by a friend (lightheartedly) when i mentioned how i could be very clingy in my relationships.

• I agree that the vent art was originally associated with menhera and i should have made that more clear in my original post. and i should have also made the history behind the word yami kawaii and bisuko ezaki more clear. there is a lot of context around bisuko ezaki that i was trying to cut for brevity, but i did leave out some important information that i probably shouldn’t have.

• Jirai is very much used to describe the fashion. Almost every person around my age (so late teens early twenties) I talked to while in japan, described my style as Jirai. When I talked to my friend’s mom, she just described it as kawaii. no one called it girly fashion at all. whenever i mentioned jirai to someone, they immediately picked up that i was talking about the fashion and no one had any questions or confusion when i called my clothes jirai.

here’s even an example online of people explicitly using jirai or landmine to refer to clothes in japan.

link to the original post if you want to see it in japanese too: https://detail.chiebukuro.yahoo.co.jp/qa/question_detail/q11247315046

量産型・地雷系の女の子とお友達になる方法を教えて下さいᐡඉඉᐡ♡ - 私はオタクという訳ではないのですが、量産型や地雷系の格好が好き... - Yahoo!知恵袋

量産型・地雷系の女の子とお友達になる方法を教えて下さいᐡඉඉᐡ♡ 私はオタクという訳ではないのですが、量産型や地雷系の格好が好きで普段からそういった系統のお洋服を着ている大学生です。ですが、住んでる場所が東京の田舎だからなのか自分の周りには同じような服装の子はいません、、量産型や

• while there are definitely landmines in japan the glorify being mentally ill and don’t want to recover. if you scroll on japanese social media and read vent post from landmines, you’ll see a lot of posts mentioning wanting to go to therapy, or trying new meds hoping they’ll help, or many people celebrating taking steps to get better.

If you think I got anything incorrect, I’d appreciate you providing a reliable source to correct me, but everything I’ve heard from my friends and read online from japanese people, I haven’t found anything that backs up your claims. so if you try to correct someone, please make extra sure your information is accurate 🩷

[painfulpastels]

i feel like i never really understood how isolating ptsd can be till i got it. i feel like such and idiot for getting triggered by things everyone else doesn’t think twice about. i feel like i have to get drunk just to barely be able to tolerate it and here i still am crying like a fucking idiot when i’m supposed to be celebrating someone’s birthday. all i can think about is my trauma and i don’t wanna bring all the attention t me but it so hard to avoid getting triggered or acting like im okay when i am. i was doing okay and everything too after i got triggered the first time but the. n in got triggered again and now im just a crying mess. it’s been two fucking years why can’t i just forget it already but instead in just having to find a quiet play where i can cry without ruining the whole party i hate it. i just wanna get drunk enough that i can just forget about it and have fun like everyone else is. i hate it’s. i’ve already had like five drinks and i stil. a t have finn. i was having sun and everything too earlier

[twinsfall]

I personally think the DNI should be replaced with a WNI (Will Not Interact), instead of trying to police who touches your public posts, it instead just gives a heads up of who you won’t be interacting with. Like, “Jsyk, if I see you in my notes you’re getting blocked and if you try to talk to me directly you’re not getting an answer, but I won’t go out of my way to scream at you for existing cuz I have a life”

[pawsnkittens]

[decomposing--flesh]

We should be paid for living, that's really hard y'know

[painfulpastels]

is there a single fandom that doesn’t have antis whining in your ear about pro-shippers 24/7? like i would think id at least be safe in fandoms that have “problematic” themes in the source material but apparently not.

i swear to god you could have a show titled “loli shota incest: proceed with caution” and there’d be a whole group of “fans” claiming that “i love the show but hate how the fandom is full of pro-shippers :/”

like i hate to break it to you but maybe you just need to find a different show to watch

(*cough cough* tcoaal, danganronpa, lads, nekopara, my dress-up darling, saya no uta, etc. fans *cough cough*)

[painfulpastels]

in what world is age-play worse than actually abusing a child? this might just be the dumbest take i’ve seen on tiktok and i’ve seen a lot of dumb takes. once again, antis don’t actually care about victims, just their own subjective discomfort.

[mlarayoukai-archive]

having your own money is fucking dangerous because the only person stopping me from buying whatever I want is myself. and myself has bad judgment sometimes

[yumeenyan]

jiraiblr core is posting a picture of your house as it’s burning down and saying “ time to live on the streets 🥹💔 “

[painfulpastels]

damn, i should’ve done this when my house caught fire! what a waste opportunity :(

[somni-succubus-deactivated20260]

Btw, I firmly believe that antis who report FICTIONAL DRAWINGS/STORIES to the FBI as 'CSEM/CSAM' are disgusting, ignorant, and should blow their brains out.

Sincerely, a CSAM victim

[r4zorluvr]

girlhood is crying over eating a normal portion of food

[painfulpastels]

it is shocking the amount of people that consider it progressive to be blatantly racist and xenophobic. like so many people forget that you can criticize a government without taking it out on innocent people from that country.

yes, israel has committed war crimes. that doesn’t make it okay to say “all jews are zionist” or “any civilian casualties on israel’s side is good actually”. at this point, so many people hate israel more than they care about palestine.

yes, japan still hasn’t issued a proper apology for their atrocities during ww2 and they do have systemic problems with brushing SA under the rug. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to say “liking anything japanese makes you a bad person” or “all japanese people are pedophiles”.

and a lot of these things people criticize other countries for, are things that apply to their own country too. yet it’s frames completely differently. using america as an example: “korea has a toxic celebrity culture and beauty standard” so does america (and most the world for that matter). “japan has such high rates of CSA” so does america, even counting for the estimated unreported cases of both countries. “israel is committing war crimes” america is helping israel commit those crimes.

all of those things are worth criticizing but it crosses the line of criticism into outright hatred when someone starts generalizing civilians for the government’s actions. other countries aren’t monoliths. There are some that agree with their government some that disagree like every other place in the world. if it’s unfair to say “all americans and pedophilic war criminals who all deserve to die” because of the actions trump is doing, then don’t say that about citizens of other countries. if you don’t agree with every single decision your government makes, then you can’t stereotype everyone from another country as supporting every decision their government makes.

[painfulpastels]

i feel like a lot of anti’s normalize harmful behavior irl. coming from a former anti-shipper, there were so many antis like still liked taboo fiction but tried to justify it. i saw so many instances of people, instead of just saying “hey i like this in fiction but don’t condone it irl” would try to make it seem like what they liked wasn’t actually problematic at all.

for example, antis that would read dub-con and justify it by saying it wasn’t actually dub-con at all and there was clearly consent there even if one of the characters was drunk or being coerced or something. another example i remember is when one of my former friends tried to say that because both characters in killing stalking were toxic, that they were equally abusive to each other so there wasn’t a power imbalance so that makes yoon bum and sangwoo actually not abusive at all.

i just find it a bit odd that some people think it’s somehow better to justify that these things are okay in real life instead of just saying they like it in fiction only.

[painfulpastels]

ranking my favorite darkships from least to most liked because im bored

(not including my selfships)

Sebastian Michaelis X (Our) Ciel Phantomhive

Hitachiin Hikaru X Hitachiin Kaoru

Teruhashi Makoto X Teruhashi Kokomi

Oh Sangwoo X Yoon Bum

Hoshino Aqua X Hoshino Ruby

Andrew Graves X Ashley Graves

[painfulpastels]

parasocial relationships aren’t inherently bad!!

yes, it can easily turn toxic but people act like all parasocial relationships are just the obsessive, borderline stalker fans that don’t respect boundaries and think they’re actually gonna marry their favorite celebrity when that’s not actually what parasocial means. parasocial relationships can actually be very healthy.

for example, when i’m having a rough day i might think to myself “if (insert fictional character) was here, they’d support me and help me get through this” and it helps me to destress when i imagine it. that’s a type of parasocial relationship but it’s not harmful. if you’re watching a streamer, celebrity, youtuber, etc and seeing them happy and making jokes makes you happy, then that’s parasocial but not toxic.

there are certain hobbies, like yumeshipping and oshikatsu, that get a bad-rep for being parasocial because people assume any parasocial relationship is inherently unhealthy. in reality, if you have any person or character that you’re a fan of, that you don’t know irl, you’re parasocial. it’s normal and even expected to a degree to have a few parasocial relationships. as long as you aren’t crossing someone’s boundaries or prioritizing parasocial relationships over real relationships, it’s not a problem.