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Kiana Khansmith

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Peter Solarz

ellievsbear

Discoholic 🪩
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
d e v o n
styofa doing anything
will byers stan first human second
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

⁂
Xuebing Du

Love Begins

roma★
sheepfilms
Three Goblin Art
Game of Thrones Daily

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

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@painintheadd
RSD mood:
tag urself i’m oblivious bastard
*me, to my own mind* can u like s h u t the fuck up for once
human brain: sometimes we need to do boring things with no gratification or immediate benefit
monkey brain: absolutely not. die
Human brain: ok what if we eat chips while we do the boring thing
monkey brain: I’m suspicious but keep talking
oh hey sorry I’ve been distant lately…. I’ve been really busy having a brain that is bad
That one episode of The Office where Toby is explaining the radon test kits in a meeting and he snaps his fingers at Michael and repeats "this is a radon test kit, do not throw it away"—that's me to my brain at least fifteen times a day and, much like Michael Scott, my brain does not listen to me.
i made this meme instead of studying for my finals
So my therapist has been helping me get to grips with my ADHD, and also the concept that I’m not shit at being an adult, I just can’t do things the way everyone has always told me to do them. Like every single “organize your life” books have always left me wanting to cry with frustration, and after I got hold of a copy of Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD by Susan Pinsky I realized that was because they primarily focus on “aesthetic” over “function”. And the function of most standard “organize your life books” is to “make things look Show Home Perfect”.
So the standard “hide all your unsightly things by doing xyz” may look nice for the first week or so, but by the end of the week it’ll look like a tornado made of pure inhuman frustration ripped through the house as I try to find the fucking advil.
To give you an example of the kind of hell I’ve been fumbling my way through the last 20 odd years: dishes will be washed and left in the drying wrack but never put away. Which means I can’t wash more dishes, which means dishes pile up, which means I can’t make food, which means I don’t eat, which means my CFS gets worse, which means I don’t have the energy to put the dishes away, and so on so forth until I have a meltdown, cry to ETD (who also likely has ADHD but has never had it confirmed) about how I can’t cope with life, and then we fix it for a while, but inevitably end up back at square one within about a week.
Pinsky’s solution to this was “remove an obstacle between you and your goal, if that means taking all the doors off your kitchen cabinets to make things easier, so be it.”
And lemme tell you, fucking revolutionary.
Laundry never ends up in the hamper??? why???? is it a closed hamper??? Remove the lid. Throw it out the window. Clothes are now miraculously finding their way into the hamper??? Rejoice????
Mail ends up spread out over every available flat surface? Put a sorting station right where your mail arrives. Put a shredder or “junk” basket under it. Shred or dump the junk immediately. Realize you only actually have two real letters that need attention, feel less overwhelmed, pay your bills on time.
Like I’m not saying this book is miraculous, but it did help me realize that I was effectively torturing myself by trying to conform to certain ideals of “perfect house keeping”, and presenting a certain image rather than just allowing myself to live in my space as effectively as possible. And why? Why was I doing that? Cause people with different lives and capabilities are perceived as the norm? Fuck that. If this was a physical problem I wouldn’t be forcing myself to conform to an ableist standard, so why am I doing it with this?
My lived space will never look a certain way, and that’s okay. It will never look show home perfect, and that’s okay. It will likely always be cluttered and eclectic where nothing matches, and that’s okay. Sometimes I will have odd socks on because sorting them out required too much mental energy, and that’s okay. Actually fuck sorting socks, just buy all your socks in the same color. Problem solved. Boring sure, but also one less thing to do, which means more time to hyper fixate on fun things. Which really, what else is my life for if not to write screeds and screeds of vampire shit posts, I ask you.
I do this with my clothes. I never end up properly putting my clean clothes away in my dresser, so they just end up in a pile on the floor. So I went and got 2 cheap tall plastic trash cans (like Tupperware, they’re cheaper than hampers) and I put my clean clothes in them instead. I dont give a shit about wrinkles, so I can just throw my clothes in there n I’m done. I sort out hard to find things like underwear and socks, tho.
me: please, im begging you,, , just do this one assignment
my shit brain: I would rather die, you baby-faced mackerel of a man
dr russell barkley, basically: there’s an overemphasis on inattention and hyperactivity cause yall other docs out there know theyre the most easily measured+observed but bc of ur lazy asses the very important emotional dysregulation element of adhd has been completely goddamn neglected
me:
felt this
when you see that someone said smth mean about you so the rsd kicks in and it feels like you’ve been stabbed in the chest and you walk around after four hours feeling not too livid about it but it still hurts
listen, when i go to open my mouth & what comes out is 12 degrees of seperation from what the original topic was, u need to connect the dots bitch. think fast. i’m not gonna hold ur hand but we’re leaving now and visiting every topic along the line. wave it goodbye, don’t get hung up on it
does anyone else with intrusive thoughts do that weird dismissive head shake when they get them to kinda like.. reverse/reject the thought or is that just me
Gotta shake your brain like an etch-n-sketch and start over
Important info if you have friends/family with adhd/add
I want to add that if you see them repeating things to themselves they might be trying to focus on not forgetting something
Also if you speak to them and it seems like theyre paying attention to you but they reply with something out of context they might have had a hard time trying to process what you said, they werent ignorning you
This hits home for me
My mind is like an internet browser. 17 tabs are open, 4 of them are frozen and I don’t know where the music is coming from.