Psyche

Genderfluid (she/they/he) and bi 💗 This is my space to yap about my personal life, and yeah, it’s messy! 💗 18 💗

[maisy1111]

me staring at the search bar trying to decide which fictional man I’ll read about tonight:

[pandora-xkx]

Well my parents now know my bf and I got back together bc my stepmom badgered it out of me mid shift change (bc we both work delivery driving at a fast food place) and i also got reminded that she can be incredibly racist and doesn't like my bf bc he's mixed 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ on the bright side, it made me stop caring what people think about me !!

[pandora-xkx]

Currently looking for Jason Todd x reader fics and blurbs cause j have 3 days off and 2 of them im doing nothing for the entirety of the days before a sleepover w my bf at the end of the second day 😮‍💨

[pandora-xkx]

reading through stuff I wrote at 12 isn't just bad because its cringy as hell. its bad because some lines make it SO clear how bad of a self image I used to have. I was so young and so desperate to feel loved and it's sad to look at now, but it's also really incredible to see how far I've come. I actually do now know that I'm pretty- sure, some days I look exhausted and I don't wear makeup often anymore because I work most days, but still. I still know I'm pretty despite that.

in a weird way, it's a reminder that it does get better. even if it feels horrible, it does get better

[pandora-xkx]

“Kansas accent” in Superman fics IS MY BIGGEST ANNOYANCE. Dont you dare use “country boy Clark Kent” and “Kansas accent” in the same sentence WHEN I KNOWWWW YK YOU MEAN SOUTHERN TEXAN ACCENT. Yall wouldn’t know what a Kansas accent was if it slapped you in the face don't evennnnnnnnnn

[pandora-xkx]

Contemplating revamping old stories. I should be doing scholarships but all I wanna do is anything EXCEPT for that.

... yeah college is gonna be rough

[furoruisa]

[pandora-xkx]

Planning to move out of my house and get an apartment with my bf in like 6ish months if were doing well still, all while hiding the relationship from my parents, is.. interesting ! Mainly cwuse we briefly broke up due to issues in our relationship that weve fixed, and also because i got stressed over graduation and freaked the hell out. And also cause my stepmom spent whole a month early into our relationship telling my family (behind my back) that i was cheating on my bf with my ex, who had a partner (I have literally never cheated once in my whole life). So uh yeah, its interesting 😭

Oh also my job pays $11 an hour.... my bf earns bank cause he has an actual career (blue collar man 😛🤞) but im going to college in the fall so im trying to figure out how to make it work financially

Either way I love him and i cannot express how amazing it would be to come home to him every day so yk, im gonna figure it out 🤞🤞

[m00ndr0pcelestial]

I feel like a bad person when I listen to music made by bad ppl bcz it sounds good

[deedzreads]

me if only reading x readers was illegal

[pandora-xkx]

I started a new job and my first shift is tmrw, im scared though 😭 I've never worked in fast food and its much slower paced than McDonald's but im scared I'll be too slow. I worked in a factory til now and I had more room for mistakes. I also grew up in my last job, I first was there at 15 and im an adult now so its different

[pandora-xkx]

Alan. We are so.. FUCKED (my stepmom is installing a doorbell camera cause recently someone tried to just walk into our house, the door was locked but still. Last weekend I essentially snuck out to see my bf after we briefly broke up cause of my ocd brain, and ive lowk been sneaking out to see him when my parents are gone for work and getting back home before they do.) (Im almost 19. i have no reason to hide it, but its fun. I wasnt a rebellious teen cause I was disabled and distracted with that so this is the best ive got 😭💀)

[headcanonthings]

[nonbinaryjudean]

OCD things that you don't hear about:

episodes of paranoia, delusions, and dissociation

cyclical thoughts/spirals

magical thinking

episodes that can be very similar to psychosis or mania

attributing human emotions to inanimate objects

dermatillomania and trichotillomania

false sensations (like bugs crawling on skin)

paying way too much attention to very small things

physical health issues caused by compulsions

symptoms that are "problematic" (doing things that are considered "wasteful", needing reassurance or validation from others...)

extreme, deep, dreadful fear of things that can't truly be explained

disconnect between emotional and cognitive/logical responses or thoughts

contamination fears

problems with addiction and dopamine regulation

other people trying to force exposure therapy onto you without your consent and it making your anxiety way worse

list making

[pandora-xkx]

OCD really screws with you when its untreated.

For example, I dated a guy for 8 months, was out of therapy during like month 4 or 5 and proceeded to fall down the slope of ROCD til I broke it off with him and then got back with him in the span of a week. We arent even technically together yet, and my head is fucked. Im back in therapy now, but the paranoia is creeping up on me horribly in my friendships too now.

So long story short, no, ocd isnt just "a cleaning disorder" 💀

[12u3ie]

managing ocd is a trip

[pandora-xkx]

I opened up to my friends about some bad things in my relationship while in doubt and I planned to break up with my bf (were now on a break) but now its hitting me and i really fucking miss him. I dont know if im gonna be able to break up with him. I love him and he really fucking loves me. It's just the little flaws, yk?

God. Siri, play "I can fix him (no really, I can)" 😔