#actually ocd

[radishpup]

boutta go home and agere with my ESSA!!

[daffy-02277]

This is for the people who know someone with OCD and people who have OCD but are doubting it because what if your just acting like you have it.

"Touch that or your mom will die"

"20:20, touch the floor for good luck"

"Don't breath, it's dirty"

"Wash your hands"

"Knock on wood"

"Am I sick?"

"Maybe I killed someone and forgot?"

"What if..."

"Your insane"

What if your just a girl with OCD?

One day you wake up, with a lot of thoughts. Yours? You hope not. Their horrible, worst fears, crimes.

You turn of your alarm, checking the time, checking your plans for the day. School.

So you wait till the time is even. You get up, and make your bed with skills, because you do it everyday, perfect. Then you walk towards the bathroom, right foot first because you read somewhere that gives good luck.

6 minutes on toilet

2 minutes brushing teeth evenly

3 minutes washing face

Routine is done. Walk out the bathroom with left foot, so its even. Check the time. Check if you actually turned off the water in the bathroom. Right foot in. Left foot out.

Your right on time, everything is going to plan. But sometimes feels wrong. Thoughts making you feel uneasy.

"Touch the light 6 times, then it will be a good day"

"Jump 3 times"

"Dont breath"

"Your insane"

So you do what makes you feel best, touch the light knob, jump 3 times, and dont breathe until it tells you its okay to breathe again.

You grab your phone and open tiktok and see there is a heatwave. It's hot, so you have to drink enough to not get a heatstroke, but not more than 2 liters. Because more then that is bad for your body. Stay out of the sun, dont do physical activities. Forgot the tanlines, because that can cause skin cancer. Use spf 50 with that weird chemical thing that prevents aging.

Alright, clothes.

"Last time you wore those, you got sick"

"Those are to pink, people will think your a child"

"That top is just bad, no idea why"

"Remember when your friend said that looked ugly?"

So you grab a new pair of shorts and top and put in on. Right arm first ofcourse. And right leg.

Put on socks, right sock first.

Then right shoe first.

Then you put on suncream so you dont get cancer. And check if you actually put on clothes, cus what if your dreamt that.

Grab your bag, check it. Check it again, so you dont forget anything.

You walk downstairs to make food. 2 slices of bread with cheese, evenly laid and in the same lunchbox you've had since kindergarten.

A bottle of water. Pack your bag with the food and water and check it again.

So you place your bag at the door and grab your keys, and say goodbye to loved ones because if you dont, they will die.

You open the door, and check if your keys are in your shorts. They are. You can feel them, but you have to see them. So you dont get fooled.

You walk out and walk to school, use one side of the sidewalk because the other side is bad.

"Dont step on cracks"

"Look behind you"

"Your gonna get kidnapped"

"Do you have your keys?"

"Your insane"

You check your keys again. And look behind you and share your location with your dad.

Hoping that whatever your thinking won't predict anything.

You arrive at school.

Avoid everything dirty.

Other kids

The stair railing

Desks

Toilets

Your friends books

And if somebody coughs, you hold your breath so you dont breath dirty air in.

Because what if...

[daffy-02277]

I'm gonna share some of my writings, because why not.

Be nice.

@pickledkittycat

[liquidnitrogencorpse]

i feel like every time good things are happening for me my brain finds another thing to worry about and the thing that im worrying about couldnt possibly be true but my brain keeps telling me that maybe it is. lmk if i sound insane or if this is relatable. also, this has nothing to do with the tcc i just need to vent. ill probably delete this in the morning.

[bodhi-devotee]

idk why we stopped calling out people who say “intrusive thoughts” when they mean “impulsive” but we have GOT to bring it back again. i really felt like we were making progress and now i’m seeing it everywhere again ugh

[inner-space-oddity]

i hate having ocd, i saw someone say something offensive in a public video game chat and i cant stop thinking about it

Like yeah i'm sure they're uneducated on the subject. Yeah im sure if i had tried to argue or correct them they wouldve been an asshole about it or ignored me. But my brain wants to argue the point anyway. It's been almost an hour 💀💀💀💀💀💀

[dniendos]

coming back is really weird because everything changed yet i feel the same ... ALSO THIS FREAKING BLOG IS SO UNORGANIZED OH MY GOD

[inthecosmos903]

if you ever want to know what ocd is like (at least for me, there are multiple kinds) it's just like your mind is trying to make you crash the fuck out at everything all the time forever