This is going to sound ridiculous but if you find yourself in an altercation with someone you KNOW you’re going to have to describe later- like you’re being assaulted, threatened, mugged, whatever, and you’re not trained in giving descriptions, try and think of ways to insult their appearance before they fully leave your field of sight.
As someone who is horrific with faces and receives bad descriptions pretty often, most of yall are bad at it, and you focus on the wrong things and forget the rest. I personally find insulting people (silently in my head, even when I don’t mean it or I feel bad about it or I would never ever say it out loud) is a good way to retain details.
Like, IDEALLY I want to retain “Caucasian Male, average build, mid to late 50’s, balding brunet with large forehead wearing a backwards snapback hat, mirrored sunglasses, Hawaiian print muscle tank, gym shorts, adidas slide sandals, white socks, large silver chain necklace, large tribal-print tattoos on both forearms”, but stress has a way of fucking with your head and images are difficult to retain so “Y2K mid life crisis gym bro Bill Murray” has a way of sticking longer
And even if I forget him completely in the next five minutes, I’ll probably be able to pick him out of a crowd again in a couple hours
ᯓ★summary: caleb x gn!reader. in your darkest moments, caleb shows you that you don't have to go through it alone or when your heart is feeling heavier than usual
ᯓ★ wc: 1.2k
knock knock
“Hey, pips, look at this new snack I found at the store. Octopus-flavoured chips? I wonder if it’s as good as it sounds. I figured we could try it out,” he says, holding up two plastic bags.
“Maybe later. I’m a bit tired,” you mumble.
You pull the blanket over your head, turning your back to him, hoping he doesn’t notice how nasally you sound.
“I think I’m going to take a nap. Do you mind closing the door on your way out?”
A soft sniffle escapes before you can stop it, and you wipe your nose on the blanket. You pray he didn’t hear, but the sound of the plastic bags hitting the floor tells you otherwise.
“Is everything okay?”
The stinging sensation returns and tears well in your eyes again. You let out a weak laugh, trying to sound casual, “I'm just a bit tired, that's all. It’s been a long day.”
You can’t bring yourself to come up with a better excuse. Right now, you just want to be left alone.
When he doesn’t respond, you think maybe he’s accepted that, until the floor creaks and you hear a pair of footsteps gradually getting closer.
You tug the blanket even tighter, as if the fabric could somehow make you invisible. Through the soft material, you see his shadow pass through the light—his outline bending down until he's level with you.
“Hey,” he says gently. “What's going on?”
You clutch the blanket tighter against your face.
“Not right now, Caleb. Just leave me alone,” you choke out.
You didn't want him to see you like this. Eyes puffy, red nose, and the mess of tears and snot you can’t hold back. This isn't something he can fix. And what use is it to burden him with something you can’t even explain?
No, it’s easier to be alone.
But your heart is hurting, and all you want is for the pain to go away.
Your tears soak the fabric before they can fall.
You feel a hand on your head, gentle but firm, moving in slow circles.
“You can tell me,” he says quietly. “You don't have to go through this alone.”
You shake your head, unable to respond as your sniffles grow louder. Somehow, his comfort only makes it worse. You don't want him to see you like this, to see how weak and pathetic you look.
Yet a part of you aches for him to fix everything. But how can you expect him to fix this, to fix you, when you can't even fix yourself?
“I said go away, Caleb,” you seethe.
You can't hold it back anymore. Everything you’ve been carrying bursts out all at once, and it was ugly. You sob into your side, the pain in your heart and mind, twisting together until you can hardly breathe. Everything hurts, and all you can do is cry.
He doesn’t say a word. The only sound is your hiccups as you tremble, fighting against the overwhelming wave of emotion crashing over you. You don’t know why it hurts so much, or how to stop it. You just want it to stop—to stop hurting.
Your breathing picks up, catching in your throat as if you’re choking on the small pocket of air around you. It feels like someone’s squeezing your heart cruelly and mercilessly.
All you can do is cry, cry out every raw, tangled emotion that's been building inside you for far too long.
When your body begins to tremble, you feel a gentle presence lifting you in the air. There’s a bit of shuffling before you’re slowly brought down into a cage of warmth. His arms and legs wrap around you, shielding you from the rest of the world.
He gently guides your hand to his chest, then adjusts until your head rests in the space above his heart.
You're too tired to react. Your body feels drained, every part of you heavy, so you just sit there, quietly sobbing into his chest.
Time blurs. The two of you stay like that for what feels like forever, your tears soaking through his shirt and the blanket. Through your cries, he rocks you slowly back and forth, never saying a word. He just lets you cry out everything that’s been building up inside.
“You don't have to hide yourself from me,” he murmurs.
“I look like a mess right now,” you hiccup.
“Throughout our entire time together, “ he says softly, “I’ve never once thought that.”
He gently pulls the blanket down and takes out his handkerchief. With careful movements, he wipes your tears, brushing the strands of hair away from your face.
“Do you want to tell me what's going on?” he asks.
You look down at the handkerchief, sniffling. Everything feels tangled, too big to untangle. You don’t even know where to start, and thinking about it only makes the tears sting your eyes again.
“I don't know what to do, Caleb,” you whisper. “I feel so lost.”
“We don't have to do anything,” he says gently. “Just stay here with me. We don't need to figure it out right now.”
His thumb brushes your cheek.
“We can just exist right here, right now,” he murmurs. “Just the two of us.”
You look at him with tears in your eyes.
“Im sorry,” you whisper. “I didn't want to drag you into this mess.” You bury your head in your hands.
He shifts closer, gently moving you until you’re straddling his lap. His hands reach for yours, pulling them away from your face. He smiles softly, his thumbs brushing your cheeks as he wipes away the lingering tears.
“I'll never let you go through anything alone,” he says. “I'll always be here, right by your side.”
His voice is steady, full of warmth.
“You’re kind,” he continues quietly. “Strong. You keep going, even when things are hard. You’re good to people, and you make me want to be better, too. Someone worthy of someone as incredible as you.”
He cups your face.
“You don't have to pretend to be okay,” he says. “It's okay if things are messy. It's alright if you don’t have all the answers right now. You don’t have to keep fighting every battle on your own. We’ll figure it out, together.”
“Whatever’s weighing on your heart, I hope that you'll share some of it with me. You don’t have to carry it by yourself. I'll be with you, no matter what.”
His thumb traces slow circles along your jaw.
“When the tunnel feels dark and you can't find the light,” he murmurs, “Hold onto me, and we'll find it together.” His voice softens even more. “Let me carry you to the end, so we can see that light, side by side.
He kisses your forehead.
“You are enough,” he whispers. “Exactly as you are, in this moment.”
“Whenever you're feeling sad,” he continues, “I want you to call me right away. Nothing in this world means more to me than you.”
He pulls you closer, and you sink into him. His arms wrap around you fully, his touch quieting every overwhelming emotion that’s been clawing at your chest.
“As long as I’m here,” he says softly against your hair, “you’ll never have to face anything alone.”
He stays like that, holding you as if he could shield you from everything, and maybe for now, that’s enough.
a/n- stepping out of hiatus in hopes that this'll bring comfort to someone ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) a bit self indulgent, but sometimes it's easier to imagine caleb reassuring you thru the hard times, and last night i needed a hug from him. i have so many drafts that i never got around to finishing, but i do plan on releasing them (some day). it makes me so happy to see ppl still reading my works (even tho i can't bear to read them anymore).
i hope i was able to make u feel a 'teensy' bit lighter. from one tired soul to another, i hope ‘the darkness in your mind does'nt erase the light you carry in your heart.’ <3
