kurban

[[ in character vent blog for rhys kendrick. OOC EYES ONLY. your character does NOT have permission to view anything posted here. content warnings for: gender dysphoria, internalized trans/homophobia, physical disability, mental illness, mental trauma, physical trauma, self mutilation, eye trauma, head trauma, abuse, manipulation, mass murder, survivor's guilt, self deprecation, death/suicide ideation. rules]]

[pandoraspunchingbag]

Really not looking forward to the end of summer. A’s probably leaving when they graduate.

[pandoraspunchingbag]

The kid finally feels actually settled down.

[pandoraspunchingbag]

There’s something so deeply satisfying about looking back and just. seeing my beard grow out?

[pandoraspunchingbag]

One of these days I’ll put my money where my mouth is and crawl back into the hole I scrambled out of.

[pandoraspunchingbag]

He’s right? I am a terrible friend.

[pandoraspunchingbag]

Sometimes all I can feel is that... all encompassing, soul crushing loneliness I lived in when I thought everyone I loved stabbed me in the back or died

[pandoraspunchingbag]

I keep wanting to go back.

[pandoraspunchingbag]

This isn’t fair. It’s alwys. something.

[pandoraspunchingbag]

Why am I trying to start arguments! I don’t even have the energy to argue with my own head.

[pandoraspunchingbag]

It’s been how many years aaaaand I still don’t know where simple humility is between total arrogance and total self-deprecation.

[pandoraspunchingbag]

Guess I shouldn't be surprised that everyone sold me out. Just being left alone with him is... ugh. I couldn't move.

[pandoraspunchingbag]

Really don’t know where I went wrong. Not sure how, either. Parents really stayed on top of making sure we turned out decent!

[anxietyproblem]

Follow us @anxietyproblem

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[yanimodowey]

Me af

[pandoraspunchingbag]

I dont know what to ddo

[pandoraspunchingbag]

haha. one of the first things Vaughn brought up when we first got to pandora was how traumatized we would end up.

i laughed at him.

[pandoraspunchingbag]

I repressed so fucking much on Pandora. Sometimes I wonder if things would be as bad now if I had just admitted I wasn't okay sooner.

[pandoraspunchingbag]

... Aw, fuck.