a ghost with a beating heart

[panicc-room]

Obligatory random update since I created this page when I was like 14

Im 31! Got TikTok “popular” for a while, then realized being an “influencer” was boring to me. Now I just post randomly. I got a TON of tattoos even though I said I’d NEVER get a tattoo.

Started working out and actually eating healthy! 14yo me would be MORTIFIED to hear that, considering how obsessed I was back then with wintergirls.

I grew 4 entire humans, again, wild bc I wasn’t even supposed to have kids so that’s pretty lit. And idk, I got old and boring. And I’m okay with that. I used to be terrified to get old (and yeah, I used to think 30 was old) but here I am. 31. A mom. A wife. And known as the “girl with the depressed blog in 2013” 😂

[panicc-room]

Been a while since I got on the ol tumblr

So update I guess?

I’m 30 now. I started this page at 14. So over 15 years ago, which is wild. I got married, had 4 kids, started doing social media as a full time job.

I had a stalker, got my license, and I got better.

This sadness will last forever, but I got better. I am better.

[panicc-room]

that’s salvation. you wanna kill yourself, man, kill what you don’t like. kill narcissus. I had an old self that I killed. You can kill yourself, too. but that doesn’t mean you gotta stop living. kill the part of you that’s all about you and nobody else, because that’s the part of you that wants to curl up and die.

[panicc-room]

[panicc-room]

“Nothing that happens In fiction matters. The people in fiction are fictional so their triumphs and tragedies have literally no consequence. The death of the yogurt you doomed to a fiery death in your gut acid this morning is infinitely more tragic than the “deaths” of Romeo and Juliet. The yogurt was alive and then it died. Romeo and Juliet never lived in the first place.” Shout our to @fredpereztattoos for doing my nerd tattoo 😍#wtnv #welcometonightvale #nightvale #wtnvtattoo #welcometonightvaletattoo #mostlyvoidpartiallystars #mostlyvoid #partiallystars #josephfink

[panicc-room]

This that "who's all there? I'm pulling up with an emo chick that's broken"

[panicc-room]

In my winter era ❄️

[tilimbones]

[fxckkitskay]

“Look in the mirror and find a ghost. Hear every heartbeat scream that everysinglething is wrong with you”

-wintergirls by Laurie halse Anderson

[daixkirai]

Wintergirls, Laurie Halse Anderson

[panicc-room]

You still doing OF?

Sometimes.

[panicc-room]

Why post insta if you deny people.... Small brain

My Instagram isn't private lmao

If you can't spell, just say that.

[panicc-room]

El oh el it’s 2015 you would think that the media (cough cough lifetime movie network) would show more movies about eating disorders with actual diversity. I finally got around to watching starving in suburbia and it’s literally the same thing as every other LMN movie about eating disorders: already thin well off Caucasian girl develops an eating disorder after her friend shows her thinspiration. That article I posted a few months ago still rings true. POC are so often alienated from mental health help. It’s sad.

[panicc-room]

2023 and this is STILL a thing.

[theenergyinlife-deactivated2019]

To everyone who is battling an eating disorder, please know that you are beautiful, deserving and you have always been enough, no matter what your mind is telling you.

[panicc-room]

sometimes

I miss being sick.

[panicc-room]

[there-will-be-violence-deactiva]