Six months ago I drafted an email to a kink-aware therapist near me to help me deal with my sissy and diaper addictions. I never sent and it's still in drafts. Maybe I'll send one day. Anyway, that made me think of this scenario.
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"So, tell me about your relationship with women. Broad strokes." That's what the therapist said.
And I just started talking.
"Any woman I see. Any woman. I think about them laughing at me or humiliating me or spanking me or punishing me or slapping me or smirking at me or talking about me or telling their friends about me. Every. One.
Like, my mom. My dear, sweet mom. I picture her learning her 50-year-old son is a diaper fag and she's confused and disappointed and sad but does her best to help after my wife throws me out and agrees to diaper me sometimes. Feed me a bottle. Call me a bad girl. Fucked up, huh?
My older sister. Real black sheep of the family while I'm the star. I imagine her finding out my secret and blackmailing me into Pampers or she tells everyone. Her daughter is 25 and a domme on OnlyFans. I want to submit to her and send her my diaper fag pics and have her find out her favorite uncle is a sissy diaper slut.
I was walking down the street earlier today and two black girls, probably 20ish, were sitting there laughing and I thought about one of them just draping me over their lap and spanking me until I bawled, right there in public.
I lived with my grandma for like two months when I was 22 and I wanted to wet the bed and have her enact petticoat discipline like I would read about online. For real.
Women with tattoos? They intimidate the hell out of me and anyone I see with one I want them to slap me in the face and call me a little bitch.
I go to the doctor's office for my regular checkup and I want the nurses to see on my chart that I''m incontinent and know that I wear and wet and mess my diapers and have them pity me. Aw, poor guy. In Pampers for life. And I would cry about it in front of them.
Girls in tights? Hot, right? Those great asses? I don't think about fucking them. I want those tights over my thick diapers and to waddle into a mall while I suck a pacifier.
College cheerleaders at basketball games? I picture them learning that I once played college basketball and now I make cummies only in Pampers and because they learn I'm not a real man they force me into their outfits and trot me out in front of the crowd while I bawl.
I see a woman walking their dog down the street? I want her to collar and leash me and lead me around on all fours.
One of my aunts has always intimidated me and I always wondered what it might be like if she found out I used to steal her panties and wear them. Would she panty punish me? Take me with a strap on? Make me suck off her husband while she watches and grades me?
I want to be arrested by a female cop who sees me making a public spectacle in diapers and cuffs me behind my back and marches me through the mall and to my fate in jail.
My dental hygienist is so hot and I dream of her seeing my diaper waistband and treating me like an imbecile.
I am submissive and docile to any woman at work as I know they are smarter than me and they all love working with me as I know what i'm doing and I always support them and I sometimes wish they would lecture me or put me over a desk and slap my ass with a ruler.
I want my former crush to know I wear Pampers and poop in them in public. Can you tell her? Or that's a confidentiality thing?
One time years ago I wore white pants, women's pants, with floral underwear under and two teen girls followed me around the entire mall laughing at me and calling me a sissy and taking pictures and I took it.
At the beach I lay in front of hot girls who laugh when they see me in a bikini bottom. It makes my clit leak. By the way my penis has never been inside a vagina, not even my wife's. I make cummies in panties or diapers only. You can treat that?
I can't walk by a salon without wanting to be diapered and sissified and sitting in the chair as a stylist gives me a faggy perm and forces me to trot out into the real world looking ludicrous.
I want my wife to hire the college girl next door as my babysitter.
My wife, if she finds out I'm a diaper fag she will tell everyone and leave me and ruin me. And that makes my clit leak.
Um, well. That's off the top of my head right now. I can keep going."
That's what I would want to say to a therapist. Think I can be cured?