@papercranes219 - Tumblr Blog

She looks better when she smiles, Like the cliche of moonbeams shining from her face, Her whole body lights up, as if Smiling were the only key to unlock it.

You’re not the person I want to be, but I’m glad you’re happy.

I feel as if I'm stuck on a tether, I'm strung up high like a spider building his web, And if you were to take a cut, I would Fall right back down to the ground. It's not you, it's me, I can't Function properly, I can't Do what I want to do, some part of me Yearns to be free and I've always wondered where that came from. I've always wanted a beautifully sad way to unravel, To be everything I could be, everything I am not. Does that make sense? I.. jumble up my words a lot and I don't know what I'm saying but I know that I feel as if I'm so.. Pathetic. Is it fair if you can do the things you want, and I cannot? I'm so stuck here, as if I need you for every decision, I'm.. I've always been wanting this, it's not you, it's me, I just wish for a moment to explore the world, To do things myself however much it scares me and I just.. I hate this. This self-destruction.

.

I harbour self destructive tendencies, I'll look at the past and wonder what I lost, I'll see you there, your gains, your fair skin, a feat I couldn't achieve. And my heart aches, at the sight of a life that could have been a life that should have been, but I lost sight of the feeling of success. on the tip of my tongue, it slipped, it fell down an echoing chasm so dark, that the shadows don't know where to hide, the spiderwebs break, and the dust mites dissolve. I harbour self destructive tendencies. That isn't crazy is it?

..

I wish there was someone to shout my thoughts back at me. Tell me they’re wrong, tell me they’re right. Tell me I’m bad, a bad daughter, a bad example. Tell me I’m terrible, I’m not worth loving. Tell me I’m wrong, tell me I’m right, just give me an answer.

imagine being told you can't be fixed your problems aren't even enough for them to be heard, and now I'm scared, I'll tell you and they just won't be enough. and maybe then I shouldn't tell anyone again.

i want out.

Tell me I'm a terrible person one more time, I'll probably believe you.

.

I seem to have lost my way with words, My intricacies once infallible Now lie in a ditch and Fester and languish in a coma As my knots unfurl.

who am i

Sometimes karma works in opposite ways, It comes back to sting the ones who needed help, Like its wings flew it in the wrong direction, Or perhaps it lost its way in confusion. Either way, I wish that I had the strength To forgive the ones who wronged me, And I wish I was strong enough, To wish them all the best, I even try to Trick myself that I've forgotten, Of course I couldn't forget Words seared into my core. The thing with hate is that I feel it too strongly, it burns Branding marks on my skin And there's only so much fatigue I can take, From competing, from pushing myself to The breaking point to prove to myself, That I don't have to lose again. I don't have to lose, Not this time. They don't deserve to win.

Please.

I am a ship made to be wrecked, A flower grown to wilt, and A glass vase built to break. I am all these things combined, Willing the forces to drive me into winds, Tread me into the ground or Drop me onto marble floors. I am the unfortunate belonging of an Unforgiving owner, who Forgets he needs to clean up, Leaves his wrappers on the floor Or destroys me in two uses. Contrary to being broken, I was once told that my happiness Attracted all kinds of people to me, It radiated a warmth that wanted to be, Enveloped by every one around, But little did he know, I attract the ones who, like parasites, Latch on to the happiness they can't get, they Steal my own and take it as theirs, as if They couldn't help themselves but, Just for a moment, Get a taste of what it feels like, and Once they've had their share, They'll leave, they'll Experience that bitter aftertaste of My sour hatred on their tongue. And each time a new leech comes along, With smiling jaws and baring teeth, I wonder if I grew fast enough inbetween, To have any more petals left to shed.

I’m not made to be happy

Why do I have to remember when everyone else is allowed to forget?

why do I make all this effort to get nothing in return.

If people would stop taking me for granted, My heart would fracture from shock. If people cannot even cherish the earth beneath their feet, How will they learn to cherish me?

never

Is it home, If I hear those words, And feel Comfortable?

just another.

If hate runs through your veins, I wonder how that makes you feel, If hate ran through my veins, I wonder how that would make me feel. Trouble is, I don't need to wonder, I already know. Oh I could hate with all of my heart, I could fixate on focussing my hate into: Productivity, I call it. But in the end, I feel worthless. Nothing is for me, every thing is for her. I could lay down my hate upon her curves, And at every section, I'd lose a part of myself, Instead of producing anything new.

.

How can one body, Be so contradictory, Hateful one second, Understanding the next. Looking for the best in the people, Where I see nothing. What is there to see here? I wish I could understand.

..

I bet there are stars in this world, Which shine ten times brighter than I, I bet they've seen the histories you've unfurled, And the conquests you would once spy. I bet these stars, these sparkling orbs, That they danced around your feet like fireflies in the night, I bet they were as magical as piano chords, And as dainty as daisy chains in the sunlight. I bet these stars were once bright like me, Before their inevitable death, a supernova, Something so beautiful, yet it comes to an end, pity Because I used to wish everything lasted forever. I bet these stars, they danced and made Constellations just for you, I bet their adventure was just as much dazed As I am with you, too.

stars.

I wish I could control it But all I crave is peace and solitude Something I have never had Give me freedom I want out.

please.

Let us throw stones at the masses who cannot keep their hands tied, their eyes closed and their tongues hinged.

Abhorrence.

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