So It Begins

Se você soubesse quem eu realmente era, você nunca olhar para mim mesmo.

[paraforever]

2 Years Ago...

Almost 3 year ago, I made my last post. I think I remember what I was referring to. I remember not being in the best position with many people in my life. The person I was seeing was emotionally, and verbally, abusing me; it was really hard. I remember the last thing that happened was they claimed they were sick and I didn't go over in time to help them. They viewed that as me not caring about them, when in reality, it was just a manipulation tactic. That was the last time I saw them. My friends help me get my stuff from their place, and that was the end of it. Looking back now, I am thankful for that experience. I am thankful for having that opportunity to learn some valuable lessons and learn more about myself. Following that, I somehow landed myself into another relationship. At that time, I really didn't want to date anyone, and I made that very clear. I folded and dated them. Reflecting on that relationship, so many things went wrong. I know I could've been more verbally open with how I felt about the person, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that the relationship wasn't right for me. Now, it's 2024, almost a year since that last relationship ended, I have realized that my happiness is so important. I am actively taking the steps for me to be genuinely happy. I am more intentional with the things I do, and learning more about what it is in life that I truly want. My 2, almost 3 years ago, is such a different person; and I wholeheartedly love that for me. I've made so much progress. I've surrounded myself with people who love me, and I've made amends to relationships that I didn't think could be repaired. I have mourned relationships that I thought would last longer, but I have learned that not everyone is your friend. It's like that quote, you are my friend, but am I really your friend? Anyways, all in all, life has been so good since I've taken more initiative in not allowing people in my life. I have no room for people who make me feel less than. Surrounding myself with people who only bring me up has been such a blessing. I'm so happy for the changes and progress I've made in the last couple years. imma go hug myself as we speak :)

[paraforever]

3 Years...

It's been three years since I've posted on here. Things are different now, I look back at my archive, and certain things still resonate, while other posts do not. I am glad I had created a tumblr when I did - 10ish years later, and I have realized my emotional maturity still needs work. Maintaining a solid relationship with someone, that is still a work in progress. What do you do when you are so used to building up walls, but you meet someone who wants to break them down? They call you out on your defense mechanisms, but you also have a wise resopnse - not because you truly believe what you are saying, but because you've lied to yourself so much, you yourself started believing the lie? I hope to look back at my tumblr in a few more years, and maybe by then I will have matured a bit more emotionally. I have nothing to hide, yet I can never find the words when talking about the things that have shaped who I am today. I can get deep-ish, or what I would consider deep, or what I would think the person listening would consider deep - but when talking about the root of my traumas, that's where I lose the words. I quickly change the subject and/or pretend I didn't hear.

[heymom-imgay]

reblog if you’re the fuck up of the family

[deletrasyarte]

Ilustradora: AuroraDibuja

[my-rainy-dayss]

[dimensionness]

ups

[feministism]

[dirtyboy420-blog]

[liberalsarecool]

On point.

We have a problem of giving to the most fortunate.

[paraforever]

The thought of me liking you more than just like has been eating at me for days. I haven't slept well in I don't know how many days, I lost my appetite for a week, and I have constant nausea. I feel myself getting bad again. Maybe I should just go before it gets too late. Before I am too invested, too 'in love', just too everything, except too far away - like I should be.

[wwhatfinn]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[hustlerose]

with drag becoming an increasingly cis and heterosexual thing i think we, as gays, need to invent a new thing that hets will think is provocative. i’m open to suggestions. 

[hustlerose]

arson. 

[valtsv]

only gays can truly appreciate wouldn’t it be nice by beach boys

[valtsv]

cishets dont interact… u just wouldnt understand

[wextersix]

[ithelpstodream]

[l-uha]