Reach out your hand and I'll make you mine.

My name's Rona. if you want a fairly detailed description of me, check out my pages. I live in Scotland and am currently at university. My posts will range from rants about anything to pictures I like/have taken, songs and the sort.

[paralyticpackage-blog]

This is the end.

Over the next few weeks I'll be phasing out this blog. I haven't used it much recently and for good reasons. I will be creating a new blog and following those in my list that I wish to. This is a plan to remove those who have sullied this blog from seeing my posts. I have loved keeping this blog, and these past few months of not using it have given me many examples of just why I need a blog. I need a space that I can vent without the social backlashes. If I don't have this, I keep these things in my head and that causes more problems than I care to think about. I'm hoping that by creating a completely new blog, I will also be able to change and improve in the type of posts I make. I will continue to reblog things I enjoy, but with my personal posts I'm hoping to improve my writing and frankly make it less tiresome reading (it'll be a slow process so give me time please). I will be making it clear on the new blog that it is me, so that those I follow on it know. I will not be posting the link to it on this blog though as that would defeat the whole purpose. I say it will take a few weeks, as I have many other things going on right now that demand my attention more so, but this will be happening in the not so distant future. Ideally within this next week once I've sorted some things out.

[wreckedteens]

Me flirting with you: so tell me a little bit about your dog

[paralyticpackage-blog]

I can't describe the happiness this brought me, very glad I moved booths today! What a lovely stranger..

[utrippy]

[cruelings-deactivated20200310]

//

[paralyticpackage-blog]

The Black Keys - Hell of a Season (HQ)

Album: El Camino All rights belong to their respective owners.

[paralyticpackage-blog]

What is it to be in love with somebody?

This is something that pops into my head fairly often.

Is it for this person to be constantly in your head? You think about them at many unrelated opportunities. Perhaps spend more time with people who are there for you and whom you know care about you?

Is it to appreciate everything they do? Maybe you have tinted glasses on their actions. You admire their morals and choices? Well, I personally admire the choices of many people better than myself, those who help the world in many ways and such.

Is it wishing to be a better person to impress them? If you’re going to self-improve, it should be on your own terms and for yourself.

Perhaps it’s simply a chemical reaction, and this is a very strong argument, I can never deny that it is such. Although since this is a chemical reaction, it’s reasonable to assume it can be recreated in certain circumstances by clever people.

So what are we to do if this is the case? I would suggest damage control, love is messy by nature, it’s an emotion that makes us do silly things, and act like people we are not. We've all done stupid things for love.

So maybe the answer is to avoid outpourings of emotions? I personally go for this, if you limit what you allow yourself to feel, then things are manageable. And the stupid actions can be controlled if you think them over enough, you can often play them out without anybody ever knowing (e.g. writing a letter to a person of interest and never sending it, or keeping a silly blog/diary). However, this is probably not a healthy system, eventually you have to discuss with things with people. Sadly for this, I have no answer. My system is efficient, for a period, but not fool-proof. I have my share of embarrassing actions, although thankfully these are (generally) limited to a close circle of friends, but not entirely damage free. I suppose what I do often is remind myself that love is simply a chemical reaction. Not the most helpful conclusion I guess. Having said this, I am stupidly in love with what is essentially a stranger, so there's no avoiding the clutches of it. Apologies for a pointless ramble.

[paralyticpackage-blog]

An evening blog..

A few things of note really. Firstly, I got a job and did my first shift today. Standard waitressing stuff, but the company seems decent, the food they serve is good and the management seem pleasant. So overall is an improvement on past experiences and I’m looking forward to having money for nice things for once.

Secondly, my exams are draining me more than I expected. I just can’t find the motivation for any of them and I have three starting on Wednesday. There is a very real possibility I’ll fail and if I do I’m not sure what I’ll do with myself.

Finally, I’m on the brink of doing something stupid. I won’t go into too many details. Lately I’ve been keeping a journal to replace my blog, as I mentioned earlier there’s too much attention on this blog so the journal is for the interim while I decide what to do. So after filling it in today, I had a nap and while dozing off I came up with an idea.

Write a letter.

So when I awoke I did just that. I wrote a letter explaining everything I haven’t said. It’s addressed to a POI. It’s something I’ve been toying with for a while, make a declaration of feelings and see how it goes, so that’s all written in this letter. I’ve read it over several times. The stupid thing is that I might send it. Which could really make or break the situation. This is the new idea rolling around my head and it could go either way really. I know I shouldn’t send it, and probably won’t. There is however, a risk that I might and who knows what will happen if I do?

[paralyticpackage-blog]

A few thoughts.

1. I'm contemplating starting a new tumblr. It recently came to my attention that too many people are reading my blog and that simply is not helpful. This is why I've been avoiding blogging for a while. I use this blog to get my thoughts out, not all of these thoughts I wish to be known by certain people. 2. I recently bumped into a POI for the first time in a while. It made me week significantly better. It's affected me more than I realised initially and I want to progress things very soon. Problem is I also don't want to come off as a creep. These are the things that roll around my head most evenings.

[skinnypeach]

do you ever just get so so sick of yourself that you just hide out in your room because when you’re alone you don’t have to be anyone

[paralyticpackage-blog]

Today is difficult.

I've had no more than two hours sleep, I've got a test that it's very likely I'll fail. The lack of sleep has put me in an irritable mood, and the actions of other people (harmless enough really) have exasperated this. I can just feel that the whole day is going to be difficult. The plus side, my mum should be visiting today.

[paralyticpackage-blog]

[melisica]

[alice-but-not-in-wonderland-dea]

[paralyticpackage-blog]

So I'm stressed and now I have to sit through a psychology lecture.

This is not what I signed up for.

[paralyticpackage-blog]

What the fuck even is credit?

I just don't understand it, where did it come from, and why is it important?

[paralyticpackage-blog]

Attempting to sort my life out

And watching it all go to shit around me

[we-love-rain]