GO AWAY

PEOPLE ARE WATCHING ME! I KNOW IT!

[paranoia-offical]

What is this? An intro?

Seriously? Do I look dumb‽ I'm not going to put my information out there! If you want an intro, go find it somewhere else! I don't care!

Mod Deanos Writes an Intro ❤️

|

V

Hi. I'm uh... Well, I'm Deanos, as you can read right there, haha. I'm the one organizing this mess and trying to keep SOMEONE from spontaneously combusting.

Uhhh– this is pretty much just here so buddy-buddy over there can properly "log things" and "journal". Which is unproductive, if you ask me, since it only results in another "ughh people are trying to kill meeee" fiasco. But. Well. Apparently, "someone has to see the documention". Meaning. Make of that what you will?

Anyways.

This is a SAFE SPACE and we do NOT tolerate bigotry and / or hate. Which is to say, please just be nice and don't be a butt. Also, please God do not send us any NSFW. We do not need it. We do not want it. And my child is right here. Somewhere.

Sidenote, apparently, Paranoia is a kid? So, their parent (go say hello): @mental-illness-offical

Debatably, their "mother" from questionable origins: @britishteaaa

And their kid. Or their baby? Wait, when did they have a kid? @babyopossum-offical

Community Board

Tags:

#IM NOT CRAZY INSTITUTION - Rambling, regular posting, the likes

#Bring out suit guy - Me 👋

#Other people in MY human soup?!? - Reblogs

#A tiny little dood - Asks

#Gimme a chalkboard - Our background and stuff :)

#arty marty - Anything with art

(OOC: I'll mainly be using Deanos as the "mod" and common sense here, or if we're talking about things I think Paranoia would be frightened of/wouldn't want to answer. And please, do specify who you're talking to, or it'll usually default to Paranoia. Unless that's what you want. :) And although I'll mix in real fact, remember, they're still only characters in a fictional reality! So, don't forget that. I highly recommend checking the tags for any hidden goodies or comments, by the way. If you have a question, shoot!)

(OOC: Paranoia—They/Them | Deanos—He)

(Drafted in the Demon Legion.)

[paranoia-offical]

Everything says that they are making fun of you. How do you know the VOICES aren't correct? What, do you read MINDS‽

[paranoia-offical]

I see you… 😈

Oh God, I KNEW it! I felt the EYES!

What do you want? Am I being sent out to WAR‽

[1etters-n-lin3s]

@neutral-offical @normal-offical @iron-offical @rain-offical @tv-host-offical @nurse-offical @penny-offical @astronaut-offical @arsenic-offical @satan-offical @homosexuality-offical @sapphic-offical @united-states-offical @autism-offical @communism-offical @god-offical @frog-offical @potassium-offical @king-offical @time-offical @microwave-offical @britain-offical @grim-reaper-offical @waffles-offical @man-offical @white-boy-offical @argon-offical @chili-offical @da-police-offical @america-offical @offical-offical @gay-offical @testosterone-offical @evil-apple-offical @yellow-crayon-offical @spotify-offical @constellations-offical @can-tab-eater-offical @definitely-not-ao3-offical @ao3-offical @the-archangel-gabriel-offical @archangel-gabriel-offical @the-king-of-beans-offical @cal-gras-delusion-offical @no-one-offical @trans-cousin-offical @nothing-offical @bubble-offical @sleep-offical @paranoia-offical @salmon-offical @tangerine-offical @drumsticks-offical @garlic-bread-cult-offical

thank you all for gathering here today. please do not panic

[paranoia-offical]

"DO NOT PANIC‽" WHY‽ WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING‽ HOW DID I EVEN GET HERE‽

[paranoia-offical]

*a bird with a giant camera on its head flies into your residence*

OH DEAR GOD! IT'S A DRONE! A DRONE! INSIDE! EVERYONE INSIDE!

[paranoia-offical]

Hewo, do ou wanna be my mummy? Ou wook wike ou ave seen de unfunnies miss.

@babyopossum-offical

I may consider it if you are able to fill out this QUESTIONNAIRE...

Have you ever worked for the GOVERNMENT?

Do you know who the COUNCIL is?

Do you have a criminal background?

What do you EAT, and is it sustainable?

If applicable, have you ever felt the need to steal the SECRETS of the ones you love or care about?

Are you potty trained?

[britishteaaa-deactivated2026033]

does this mean I get to be a grandmother

[paranoia-offical]

It depends on if they meet the REQUIREMENTS of childing...

Wait a moment... GRANDMOTHER‽ I told you before, you are NOT my mother! I do not accept this! Unless you know how to take care of little kids. Then I SUPPOSE I can tolerate it for a SECOND more...

[britishteaaa-deactivated2026033]

Oh then do tell why in your introduction I see that my name is displayed as a mother from questionable origins

*stares at you*

and uh… small delinquents..? Uhhhhhhh I mean I can smack them if you want!

also, did I ever tell you that @dying-pen-offical is your sibling-

[paranoia-offical]

... Deanos must have done that. I am a free PERSON.

[INSERT AWKWARD COUGHING.]

And don't SMACK kids. Please. Not sibling @dying-pen-offical , tell her.

[paranoia-offical]

Hewo, do ou wanna be my mummy? Ou wook wike ou ave seen de unfunnies miss.

@babyopossum-offical

I may consider it if you are able to fill out this QUESTIONNAIRE...

Have you ever worked for the GOVERNMENT?

Do you know who the COUNCIL is?

Do you have a criminal background?

What do you EAT, and is it sustainable?

If applicable, have you ever felt the need to steal the SECRETS of the ones you love or care about?

Are you potty trained?

[babyopossum-offical]

I don't wike goveernorsment

Who dat

Yuppers,butda powice don't know dat

Anyfing

Noppers

Mhm

[paranoia-offical]

I am content with you being my... "SPAWN," since you require a mummy. We can do... family things... as normal families do... Moving on. Do you like PIE? You can have some pie. Or an apple, child.

... Do you have a NAME?

[babyopossum-offical]

Yay mummy number twel- twel- shelf mummy number shelf. I wike pie. No but I had a number while ago

[paranoia-offical]

Wait... You AREN'T an orphan with nowhere else to go? Why in the world do you need me as your MUMMY then‽ No! This is not acceptable. I feel betrayed. You are no longer my CHILD.

But you can still have pie.

[babyopossum-offical]

But none my mummies let me stay, and dey can't see de unfunnies neider

[paranoia-offical]

I see...

Fine. I suppose, in that case, that I will remain your mummy. You require a proper environment for a developing mind, which ESPECIALLY includes shelter. Besides... I am sure one of my workers understands "PARENTING."

[babyopossum-offical]

Can ou see de unfunnies

[paranoia-offical]

The what? The DEPRESSION? The PROPAGANDA? Child, you must elaborate.

[paranoia-offical]

Hewo, do ou wanna be my mummy? Ou wook wike ou ave seen de unfunnies miss.

@babyopossum-offical

I may consider it if you are able to fill out this QUESTIONNAIRE...

Have you ever worked for the GOVERNMENT?

Do you know who the COUNCIL is?

Do you have a criminal background?

What do you EAT, and is it sustainable?

If applicable, have you ever felt the need to steal the SECRETS of the ones you love or care about?

Are you potty trained?

[babyopossum-offical]

I don't wike goveernorsment

Who dat

Yuppers,butda powice don't know dat

Anyfing

Noppers

Mhm

[paranoia-offical]

I am content with you being my... "SPAWN," since you require a mummy. We can do... family things... as normal families do... Moving on. Do you like PIE? You can have some pie. Or an apple, child.

... Do you have a NAME?

[babyopossum-offical]

Yay mummy number twel- twel- shelf mummy number shelf. I wike pie. No but I had a number while ago

[paranoia-offical]

Wait... You AREN'T an orphan with nowhere else to go? Why in the world do you need me as your MUMMY then‽ No! This is not acceptable. I feel betrayed. You are no longer my CHILD.

But you can still have pie.

[babyopossum-offical]

But none my mummies let me stay, and dey can't see de unfunnies neider

[paranoia-offical]

I see...

Fine. I suppose, in that case, that I will remain your mummy. You require a proper environment for a developing mind, which ESPECIALLY includes shelter. Besides... I am sure one of my workers understands "PARENTING."

[paranoia-offical]

Hewo, do ou wanna be my mummy? Ou wook wike ou ave seen de unfunnies miss.

@babyopossum-offical

I may consider it if you are able to fill out this QUESTIONNAIRE...

Have you ever worked for the GOVERNMENT?

Do you know who the COUNCIL is?

Do you have a criminal background?

What do you EAT, and is it sustainable?

If applicable, have you ever felt the need to steal the SECRETS of the ones you love or care about?

Are you potty trained?

[babyopossum-offical]

I don't wike goveernorsment

Who dat

Yuppers,butda powice don't know dat

Anyfing

Noppers

Mhm

[paranoia-offical]

I am content with you being my... "SPAWN," since you require a mummy. We can do... family things... as normal families do... Moving on. Do you like PIE? You can have some pie. Or an apple, child.

... Do you have a NAME?

[babyopossum-offical]

Yay mummy number twel- twel- shelf mummy number shelf. I wike pie. No but I had a number while ago

[paranoia-offical]

Wait... You AREN'T an orphan with nowhere else to go? Why in the world do you need me as your MUMMY then‽ No! This is not acceptable. I feel betrayed. You are no longer my CHILD.

But you can still have pie.

[paranoia-offical]

Hewo, do ou wanna be my mummy? Ou wook wike ou ave seen de unfunnies miss.

@babyopossum-offical

I may consider it if you are able to fill out this QUESTIONNAIRE...

Have you ever worked for the GOVERNMENT?

Do you know who the COUNCIL is?

Do you have a criminal background?

What do you EAT, and is it sustainable?

If applicable, have you ever felt the need to steal the SECRETS of the ones you love or care about?

Are you potty trained?

[babyopossum-offical]

I don't wike goveernorsment

Who dat

Yuppers,butda powice don't know dat

Anyfing

Noppers

Mhm

[paranoia-offical]

I am content with you being my... "SPAWN," since you require a mummy. We can do... family things... as normal families do... Moving on. Do you like PIE? You can have some pie. Or an apple, child.

... Do you have a NAME?

[paranoia-offical]

Potatoes are not FOOD. They are HUMANS! HUMANS! The ALPHABET BOYS swept it under the rug! Genetically modified people, everyone! PEOPLE!

[paranoia-offical]

i want to soup you

You WHAT‽ Do you also want to EAT me‽ What do you mean you w

OH DEAR GOD! I can hear THEM outside the walls! I DON'T WANT TO BE SOUP! HELP! HELP!

[unofficial-river]

Tag game!!

In my time on earth I've found some cool things:

Reblog with a fun fact about yourself, your favorite offical, your favorite show, your favorite word, and a fun fact

for instance:

Fun fact: I'm bipolar

Favorite offical: @coffee--spill

Favorite show: Loki

Favorite word: Haberdasher

Fun fact: Apparently, every one is gay. This is news to me, but there you go.

ooc:

Im gay yeah

@fluffycreampuff56

@burning-britain-official

@evilpineapple-offical

@un-official-idiot

@evilpineapple-offical @no-one-offical @homosexuality-offical @man-offical @leviathan-offical @shoe-offical @garlic-bread-offical @not-offical-offical @gaslight-offical @iron-offical @jeff-offical @france-offical @journalism-offical @john-doe-offical @da-police-offical @femboy-the-dog-offical @femboy-offical @the-one-offical @therapist-offical @the-moon-offical @the-apple-offical @adhd-offical @god-offical @de-activated-offical @death-offical @joseph-stalin-offical @lame-guy-offical @an-australian-offical @alastor-offical @aroace-offical @bra1n-offical @boy-offical @breadcrumb-offical @business-man-offical @commercial-break-offical @cringysparklecat-offical @crackships-offical @cool-guy-offical @chickfila-official @duck-from-hell-official @evilpineapple-offical @evil-neutral-offical

[paranoia-offical]

Fun fact about myself: I have an array of MAKEUP and COSTUMES.

Favorite offical: Favorite? You have FAVORITES?

Favorite show: I Love Lucy.

Favorite word: Boo.

Fun fact: Julia Child developed shark repellent to protect the NAVY in shark-infested waters.

@dying-pen-offical @nurse-offical @algae122 @kingkit7734 @obsesseddemonlord-offical @purple-morphsuit-guy-offical @britishteaaa @hopeless-romantic-teen-official

[paranoia-offical]

Hewo, do ou wanna be my mummy? Ou wook wike ou ave seen de unfunnies miss.

@babyopossum-offical

I may consider it if you are able to fill out this QUESTIONNAIRE...

Have you ever worked for the GOVERNMENT?

Do you know who the COUNCIL is?

Do you have a criminal background?

What do you EAT, and is it sustainable?

If applicable, have you ever felt the need to steal the SECRETS of the ones you love or care about?

Are you potty trained?

[britishteaaa-deactivated2026033]

does this mean I get to be a grandmother

[paranoia-offical]

It depends on if they meet the REQUIREMENTS of childing...

Wait a moment... GRANDMOTHER‽ I told you before, you are NOT my mother! I do not accept this! Unless you know how to take care of little kids. Then I SUPPOSE I can tolerate it for a SECOND more...

[paranoia-offical]

Hewo, do ou wanna be my mummy? Ou wook wike ou ave seen de unfunnies miss.

@babyopossum-offical

I may consider it if you are able to fill out this QUESTIONNAIRE...

Have you ever worked for the GOVERNMENT?

Do you know who the COUNCIL is?

Do you have a criminal background?

What do you EAT, and is it sustainable?

If applicable, have you ever felt the need to steal the SECRETS of the ones you love or care about?

Are you potty trained?

[paranoia-offical]

If I close my eyes, I see faces. But no one is really watching me, ARE THEY? No. Of course not.

[paranoia-offical]

We found something in the CAVES.

[thenikooneshot]

oooooooooh!!!!!! It's a thing!!!!!! It looks broked tho

[paranoia-offical]

It seems to be, yes. However, we're not sure where the OTHER part is...