Actual Garbage™

Hot garbage posting shit. Roleplay blog: cordycepboy.

[cannibalchicken]

[prospitianescapee]

This one is pissing me off because there’s cheese in it. I’m not sure there’s a period of Chinese dynastic history wherein the type of dudes likely to be having rap battles would also have been familiar with hard cheese. There’d be political fucking implications to that. Fermented dairy products were often seen as uncivilized foods, and were associated in particular with northern “barbarian” cuisine (see: <lactose intolerance in Eurasia>), whereas competitive poetry was viewed as a civilized and scholarly pastime appropriate to civil servants and courtiers. Mentioning cheese in a verse which also references the heavens could be seen as an effort to legitimize the presence of these dangerous foreign elements within Chinese society, and, thus, as seditious. If dairy were to become a common theme in rap battles, it might be viewed as a dangerous sign of poor morale and defeatist thinking among the literati. “Emperor, we have got to move the capital to the south. The scholars are rapping about cheese. It’s all falling apart.”

[cryptotheism]

Now this is a fucking post

[atleastitsnotasbestos]

bangers in the notes

[lovestory]

THIS IS SODNFJSKNJKSNFKS

[glumshoe]

people laughed at my small hands and bone-thin wrists but look who they turn to when they need someone to reach up inside vending machines and retrieve their bounty

[weaselle]

lol this reminds me of this Mongolian dude, Bao Xishun, was like, a herdsman, got recognized for being one of the tallest people anywhere, real tall and skinny guy. Anyway, one day there’s these two dolphins dying from plastic shards in their stomachs, and what you do about that is reach your arm down there and remove them, but nobody’s arms could reach. So somebody goes “hey, I heard about this guy, arms probably long enough” 

and that’s how this dude was was herding livestock in the middle of Mongolia one day and this helicopter lands and some people run out to him like “sir, we need you to get in this helicopter and come with us right away,” and they fly him in to the aquarium and they’re like, “cool, now just... reach down the throats of these two dolphins, you’re the only one who can save their lives.”

and he did. The dolphins lived. And they flew Bao Xishun back to his herd. What a fucking weird ass day that dude had, right?

[glumshoe]

I hope Bao Xishun realizes that he is a modern day folk hero.

[fatsexybitch]

Archived from 2006

[antaresferen]

the man, the myth, the legend

[mooncustafer]

superhero

[rainbow-bear]

A king has no sons, no daughters, and no queen. For this reason he must decide who will take the throne after he dies. To do this he decides that he will give all of the children of the kingdom a single seed. Whichever child has the largest, most beautiful plant will earn the throne; this being a metaphor for the kingdom. At the end of the contest all of the children came to the palace with their enormous and beautiful plants in hand. After he looks at all of the children’s pots, he finally decides that the little girl with an empty pot will be the next Queen. Why did he choose this little girl over all of the other children with their beautiful plants.

[ademigodgirl]

The seeds were all dead (burned, fake, etc.).  The other kids cheated and got different seeds and planted them.  The little girl didn’t cheat and was not able to grow anything because the seed was dead.  She was the only one who didn’t cheat.

[lizthefangirl]

damn

[zorascreation]

Nothing like original fairy tales! 

[roachpatrol]

i get the moral it’s trying to convey but that king is an idiot and the kingdom’s doomed. you don’t appoint an honest kid who will forthrightly admit a failure like that to leadership of a country, you put that kid in charge of like… the army, or something. the department of agriculture. 

i’d send out dead seeds, then appoint the kid with the biggest and most beautiful plant anyway. ideally the same kind of plant as the dead seeds were from. and ideally a kid with a really good pokerface. that kid knows:

a) how to perceive failure early (a well developed second plant means they knew how soon the first seeds should sprout and didn’t fuck around when they didn’t) 

b) how to fix the situation (a second plant of the same species means they got someone to help them identify the seeds and plant more, or are observant enough to do it themselves)

c) how to get the best people for a job in to do it (kids aren’t great gardeners. a beautiful science project probably means mom did all the work— just what you want from a child ruler and their regent)

all around, that kid (or their mom) is the kind of devious results-oriented bald-faced liar you want to go toe-to-toe with the lords of your country and the rulers of your neighbors. not a little kid who admits defeat so early and in a situation with such high stakes. ‘whoops i didn’t grow a plant’ sounds a lot less sweet when you phrase it like ‘i give up on ruling my country’. 

you know, i think i’d also send agents out to encourage the kids to destroy each other’s plants. let’s see who’s good at seige warfare, too.

[incorrectdiscworldquotes]

Did Lord Vetinari write that post?

[amusewithaview]

Reblogging for the Machiavellian addition.

[tastefullyoffensive]

[deep-dark-fears]

Friendly neighborhood spider friend. A fear submitted by Veerle to Deep Dark Fears - thanks!

You can find original artwork in my shop!

[a-flickering-soul]

OTC BIRTH CONTROL APPROVED BY THE FDA

[puzzledjay]

FDA approves first over-the-counter birth control pill in US | CNN

The US Food and Drug Administration on Thursday approved the birth control pill Opill to be available over-the-counter, the first nonprescri

[headspace-hotel]

Add to the list of "things about America I (american) didn't know were not normal worldwide"

[beemovieerotica]

thank god for american public transit !!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[lastvalyrian]

You get on the bus and then everyone does the Flintstones thing

[i-was-today-years-old-when]

i learned that there's a Japanese beetle that when eaten by a frog will haul ass through its digestive system and escape out the back end unscathed (x)

[jacobtheloofah]

you eat me and i perfectly dodge all of your digestive enzymes and stomach acid and i sprint out your asshole fully intact

[pangur-and-grim]

maybe instead of classical art pins this month, I'll do tiny baby animal that suck to look at

[anais-ninja-bitch]

that one baby pelican

[pangur-and-grim]

yeah

[kir-rat-jay]

I submit:

Squirrels

Pandas

And moles

[pangur-and-grim]

this is a rich vein to mine

[communistkenobi]

i understand you guys now. like i get it

[quasi-normalcy]

I feel like this is even better when you know that the context is that they've just seem three spectral hags emerge from the fog to recite a prophecy of doom that mentions Captain Kirk by name.

[liquidstar]

i cant believe there are people out there who will only watch an anime if its on a streaming service like have you forgotten your roots? the anime episodes split up into 3 parts on youtube in low quality? the fansubs that just did whatever the fuck they wanted half the time? the websites that are almost certainly mining your data for bitcoin while showing you terrible ads? they were there for you long before you even knew what crunchyroll was

[liquidstar]

netflix subs just wont give you gifts like this

[tench]

[factbot]

[despazito]

the second radish is 29 feet away

[tranarchist]

[kompanie-mutter-deactivated2021]

this is legitimately the funniest post on this site

[jumpingjacktrash]

catch me going into the desert without a cooler full of banh mi pickles *scoff*

[the-meme-monarch]

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THERES A CYAN HEART EMOJI NOW 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵 ARE YOU SEEING THIS 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵LOOK🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

[pigeonperch]

[the-meme-monarch]

when i said “are you seeing this” i meant it genuinely and it turns out the answer is a resounding no

[halfsalvo]

IM DYING

[redrobinssinging-deactivated202]

On this pride month, remember that Twin Peaks aired an episode in 1990 where it introduced Denise Bryson, an openly transgender woman in the DEA who is referred to by the characters with her pronouns, and her identity is respected and valued throughout the three episodes she was in, making her a fan favourite among fans and transgender women.

She returns in the third season, where her former boss Gordon Cole, told everyone who wasn't willing to support her for her identity, to fix their hearts or die. The phrase "fix your hearts or die" was eventually appropriated by the transgender community and became a common phrase used against transphobes.

Also remember that Laura Palmer and Dale Cooper, the main characters of the show, are bisexual, and have canonically related and felt seen in queer spaces (there's also a scrapped scene from Fire Walk With Me where Laura and Donna were going to kiss, and the infamous deleted scene where it seemed Cooper was going to kiss Harry after the Miss Twin Peaks show). And they're not the only ones who are bisexual! Ronette Pulaski, Theresa Banks and Bobby Briggs are also bisexual.

I have to mention that BOB was played by Frank Silva, a non-white gay man who sadly passed away due to AIDS complications in 1995. Frank had been involved in Lynch productions since Dune, and everybody honours and remembers Frank fondly, saying he was the sweetest man you could ever meet.

In conclusion, Twin Peaks is a queer show and it's important to acknowledge what Twin Peaks did for the community. Especially Denise Bryson and the quote "fix your hearts or die".

[facelessoldgargoyle]

FIX YOUR HEARTS OR DIE!

[fanficmemes]

Anybody else got that Evergiven sized writers block

[fanficmemes]

“Where’s the next chapter?!” Well buddy you’re never gonna guess

[fanficmemes]

[callmebliss]

What’s the comic sans trick?

[cargopantsman]

[chaifootsteps]

#i feel like someone just asked me to eat dirt for my health

[buc-eebarnes]

wingdings' true purpose as a font

[sirfrogsworth]

If you have seen Ted Lasso you may have noticed these unusual microphones used by the football commentators.

Despite being a microphone nerd, I had never seen anything like them before. So I decided to go into research mode and discovered these microphones are quite fascinating.

They are called "Lip-Ribbon" or "Commentator's" microphones.

They were specially designed by the BBC in the 1950s for extremely noisy environments. Soccer Football stadiums have peaked at 130 decibels so they needed something that would not get overwhelmed in that circumstance.

They use several very clever techniques to make sure only the voice is picked up and everything else is rejected.

First, they use a bidirectional polar pattern.

That means it will accept sound from two directions, but reject any sound coming in from the sides. And since the diaphragm is only exposed on one side, that helps reject sound coming from the other direction.

Next, the microphone is not very sensitive so you literally have to hold it up to your lips (hence "lip-ribbon") in order for your voice to have enough sound energy to vibrate the diaphragm.

That top part rests directly on your lip and there is a little pop filter to keep your plosives in check.

There is a built-in high pass filter so it rejects any sound below the frequencies typically used by the human voice.

But my favorite trick... a labyrinthian internal baffle system.

(I found a diagram of this when researching but then I lost the tab and I cannot find it again. So you'll just have to accept this crude photoshop I did in 30 seconds to help you understand.)

Sound is energy. And that energy is diminished the farther it travels. The inverse square law for sound states that the intensity of sound decreases by approximately 6 dB for each doubling of distance from the sound source. Sound also diminishes when it reflects off a surface.

That is a very sciency way of saying... make sounds go through a tiny maze and only sounds with the most energy will prevail.

So if you have your lip pressed up against the front of the mic, your voice's energy will make it through the labyrinth of baffles without issue. But every other sound in the stadium will have a much harder time getting through.

These mics may even be vuvuzela-proof.

And even more amazing... this microphone was designed in the 1950s and they have yet to create anything better for incredibly noisy environments.

Isn't that neat?

I think it is neat.

[thefrogman]

Oh, and there is a "nostril grille" on top so you can exhale through your nose!

SO NEAT.