Welcome to Hell.

INQUIRIES - MISSION - INFO We think we know who we are, but do we really? When each night comes over us, enveloping us in its endless gloom and misery, do you think you understand yourself? Trust yourself? When all that makes you is but fragments of insignificant filth in the eyes of those we cannot ever know or see? Trust no one. Especially not yourself. GOOD NIGHT, NIGHT VALE

[likeafieldmouse-deactivated2015]

Akihito Takuma - Lines of Flight (2012)

[heartlessreplica]

What type of requirement is that!?

[paranormative-blog]

One that's mandated by the government, of course! :-)

[paranormative-blog]

Right now, the hot, blistering midday sun should be presiding over Night Vale with its merciless rays and cancer-inducing ultraviolet radiation. However, I cannot be sure right now, since I am still not in Night Vale.

On the plus side, we have confirmed that we are not in fact having a mass, collective dream of being trapped in paradox space by the sheriff's secret police.

Rest assured, staff members: Everything is actually happening.

[paranormative-blog]

Well, I think that's quite enough huddling in the corner for one night. According to this watch, it's approximately 4am and that probably means it's time to hit the haystack. The watch, by the way, is a pile of ash which used to previously be a watch. I'll continue blogging our exploits tomorrow-- if tomorrow ever comes. Goodnight, bloggers. Goodnight.

[asksylarofdesertbluffs-blog]

You must come visit sometime! I assure you, it is a very nice place to visit! Why would you lock yourself in your office though? Surely you have a home to be in.

[paranormative-blog]

Your--uh--kindness is appreciated, but even if I wanted to visit, I couldn't. Because I'm currently trapped in the radio tower by the sheriff's secret police under the allegations of "working too hard".

Don't worry, I'm sure it's all under control. So, please. I am not visiting.

[cecileofnightvale]

If you think it is strange meeting a female version of yourself, imagine what the converse must be like. The vast majority of my iterations have been male. And this town… most definitely unpredictable to stay the least.

[paranormative-blog]

That is true! It must be quite a shock to see so many yous of the opposite gender. I wish I could sympathize, but I'm still reeling from the shock that-- Did you know there's multiple Carloses? I can't BELIEVE it, even though the evidence is right there, before my very eyes!

[askdesertbluffs]

You’re not the only one who works long days. I’ve had quite a day myself, but that’s certainly no excuse to be impolite to someone!

Still, it is understandable. I’m sure you’re quite tired. Working can really wear a person down, and if you’re hungry, you should do something about that! It’s not good for you to go without food.

[paranormative-blog]

If I'm going to be completely honest, dealing with a time-space rift is very taxing and I'm not sure if I can get out of this one unscathed. 

The situation surrounding food is tricky as well. Since. We only have one fridge. Which magically restocks itself every morning with fresh, live mackerel. And it is very tiresome, eating it three times a day. 

However, I begrudgingly thank you for your understanding because, although I have made no mystery out of my feelings towards Desert Bluffs, I am also a man of professionalism and I should act that way.

[paranormative-blog]

coffeeshopcompulsive started following you

Another listener! Who, in all actuality, is not really listening to me since this microphone is a little buggy, but welcome all the same!

[paranormative-blog]

medicalcenterofdesertbluffs replied to your post: What? Are we not allowed to say hello to our favorite resident of Night Vale? Cecil, we are hurt.

What do you mean tricks, dear Cecil? There has always been a medical center in Desert Bluffs. Always.

But I've never been there! And I really, reaaaaally don't want to ever go there, thank you very much! I'll just, stay here, locked in my office. It's very cozy.

[paranormative-blog]

What? Are we not allowed to say hello to our favorite resident of Night Vale? Cecil, we are hurt.

I will not succumb that easily to flattery, whoever you are. Do I even know you? Have I ever known you, in a past life or something to that effect? I am pretty sure that I've never stepped foot in Desert Bluff's medical center. 

...What kind of tricks are you playing?

[dothescience-deactivated2013081]

"I do apologize. I hope my presence isn’t inconveniencing you!"

[paranormative-blog]

--No! No, no, no you are not inconveniencing me in any way, I was just. Surprised! As it's been a long day and I've only had mackerel to eat and this is clearly my last bottle of brandy. 

You are the last person capable of being an inconvenience!

[paranormative-blog]

Hello, Cecil.

Uh-- Hello. Who is this? And how-- no, why are you contacting me?

[cecileofnightvale]

Thank you. The feminine version of your own, I believe.

[paranormative-blog]

Of course! I could tell by the gentle way it rolls off the tongue with an air of confidence and dulcet tone.

I admit it is a little strange meeting a female version of myself, but hey. Anything can happen-- and that's something that I can go to sleep knowing will always be true.

[askdesertbluffs]

We’re starting off on that foot, are we? Y’know, that’s not a very nice way to greet someone!

[paranormative-blog]

I assure you, spokesperson of Desert Bluffs, that I've had a long day and my daily politeness quota has been reached.

Which, actually doesn't exist. But why don't we just, pretend it exists for the sake of conversation?

Fortunately, I am also very, very hungry, and it's hard to be rude on an empty stomach.

[paranormative-blog]

THAT'S MULTIPLE AGENTS TO YOU, THANK YOU. NOW STOP STARING. WE /ARE/ SECRET, CECIL. WELL, /PRETTY/ SECRET. IT'S IN THE NAME, ANYWAY.

Wow, that's even better! Who would have thought the sheriff's secret police cared so much? They even used force to stop me from overworking myself to a bloody exhaustion!

Keep doing your job fellas, and I will continue to remain blissfully unaware!

[paranormative-blog]

how do you feel about science, cecil?

Oh, science-- I love science! Science, it's like, the best thing ever, okay? Like, I can't even begin to describe all the useful advancements we've made in the last few years! I think all of us need to just, take a moment and step back. Admire all the appliances that make our dreadful, short, and monotonous lives easier. And we should pay extra-special attention to the lovely, perfect scientists that work hard every single day to help our community.

I mean, really! Science! We are all science, and we should be grateful, I dare say.

[paranormative-blog]

[WATCHES]

Well, won't you look at that! Probably an agent of the sheriff's secret police. Good to know we have someone capable in the vicinity!