it was good to spend time with you.
to enjoy each other's company again, like we used to.
but something's different. he lingers in the back of my mind.
and now, as i look at you,
im reminded how lonely i am.

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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#extradirty

if i look back, i am lost
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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@patchesofclovers
it was good to spend time with you.
to enjoy each other's company again, like we used to.
but something's different. he lingers in the back of my mind.
and now, as i look at you,
im reminded how lonely i am.
i always thought i would fear the end of this scene. the finish of this act, and the start of the second. its a moment ive waited for my whole life. we all have.
but im here.
and instead of feeling scared, of grasping every moment and missing the comfort of the seemingly infinite routine we've all been reared to accept,
i feel it coming. the change in the tide. it slithers up around my ribs and tugs me gently out to sea.
im waiting. patiently.
it feels almost as if
there's a hole in my head
like you plucked out the cork
and released all the dread
and as every night comes
and i crawl into bed
my brain trickles out
of the hole in my head
if only i could find her somewhere else. if there was a book, a song, a room, a time of day, a season, a movie, a place.
anywhere.
“You’re not going to master the rest of your life in one day. Just relax. Master the day. Then just keep doing that every day.”
— Unknown
undone;
ive learned to bury cherished time,
to stop the chance that i unwind,
as gardens bait romantic thought,
and make me miss our days in court.
but you won't hear that, not from me,
i'll lie and rot in misery,
because my dear, you curse me still,
as i sit at my windowsill.
Sonnet Xxxix
Because thou hast the power and own’st the grace
To look through and behind this mask of me
(Against which years have beat thus blanchingly
With their rains), and behold my soul’s true face,
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
found this in an old Alan Rickman film called Closet Land (1991). In it’s given context, it was quite grim, but standing alone, it’s a beautiful piece of work.
always;
- patchesofclovers
it was winter.
it was cold, and grey and the rain touched all.
we were in the park, on a swinging seat, sitting back to back.
we were alone with the world.
i miss it.
sometimes i feel the internet is sucking out my soul,
that it degrades any authenticity in my human experience and makes me numb to all of lifes exciting moments,
and then i wonder if its all just the magic of growing up.
stalked;
be kind, im new :')