Olly thought his heart might beat right out of his ribcage. He felt dizzy with want, and Jude was showing no signs of pulling back. There was no hesitation in his tone, no amused quirk to the edge of his mouth. The way he was looking at Olly right now seemed almost... deliberate. He seemed to be trying to get through to him that he wanted this too, that he wanted to pleasure Olly in all the ways he’d dreamed of for so many years.
“Oh. Oh, wow...” he sighed sweetly, head tipping forward as he felt the other man’s hands on him. There was a certain rasp to Jude’s voice now that was driving him wild, spurring on the already frantic state of arousal he was in.
But even in all of Olly’s wildest dreams, it had never felt like this; So carnal and obsessive. He never could have predicted that this could be a reality, even if only over the clothes and as some careless attempt to cheer him up. It was impossible to understand why Jude was doing this, and if he felt what Olly felt. He couldn’t, could he? He had a girlfriend – not that it had stopped Olly when he’d been dating Teddy, the guilt still sending a sour note through his stomach. But Jude was straight.
“Jude... We can’t,” Olly murmured, eyes darkening as his mouth filled with saliva. He was overcome with lust for the other man, the press of his hand edging him closer to hardness in his shorts. If they weren’t careful, he thought he might come like that, just like a hormonal teenager.
But as his mind spun with the reality of what was happening, Jude’s hand cupping him tighter, Olly allowed himself to feel that strange glimmer of hope again. He could feel his best friend’s other hand tracing the line of his spine, fingers dancing along his naked skin, shirt rucked up around his ribcage now. It felt so good to be held by Jude like this, to have him teasing him unapologetically, seemingly without a hint of disgust or awkwardness to be found. He seemed content in his quiet reassurances to Olly, seemed so certain with each tender touch, as though he knew exactly what to do.
“I... Or– I mean, I don’t know. Can we?” Olly groaned as he carefully gyrated his hips, slowly but with intention, wanting to feel the press of Jude’s hand tighten around him. He wanted more. He needed more.
Olly wondered, suddenly, if Jude had ever pleasured another man? Tucked away in the woods, had he and Monty every stroked each other to completion? Had Stevie ever turned his charms onto Jude, grinding him to submission? What if there had been ex-classmates or roommates, maybe even a stranger in a club? His touch seemed altogether too eager, too precise to be completely unrehearsed, and Olly couldn’t believe even for a second that he was the exception to the rule.
“I need...” Olly panted, growing weaker with every passing second. His nose brushed Jude’s and he longed to kiss the other man, to feel the press of his tongue against his own as he tasted him. He didn’t want some chaste, close-mouthed kiss, but the feeling of Jude’s saliva trickling down his throat.
But that would change things, wouldn’t it? Masturbation was natural, it was necessary. Kissing felt almost romantic, intentional in its motives. Maybe this didn’t have to be weird, maybe it didn’t have to cross another line entirely.
“I need contact,” he found himself whimpering, against his better judgement. “I need you.”
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