[patheticnotes]

decided i’m moving to new york in june. what that means for literally anything in my life who knows! 

[patheticnotes]

I’m back baby.

only because I have nowhere else to feel comfortable to scream into the void. i’m growing. whether i like it or not. growing into someone new and out of something i’ll miss. i’m shedding. i’m shedding my dreams i once had. am i growing into something i want to be or something else everyone else wants me to be? i don’t know what that balance is anymore. who am i? who does everyone else think i am? can i count on myself to figure it out? plants can’t grow unless repotted. maybe i need a new pot. 

[patheticnotes]

I feel as if i’m in a dark room trying to find the light switch

[aseaofquotes]

Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks

[patheticnotes]

As time goes on I realize more and more that San Francisco no longer has anything for me, and I’m excited for whatever move I do next.

[sleg]

[patheticnotes]

I’ve been so stressed and confused and annoyed and tired the past couple weeks but right now at 12:06am on friday I finally feel at peace.

[birdasaurus]

[patheticnotes]

I don’t know if it’s because i’ve been suppressing my feelings for so long but they’re suddenly paralyzing me. I feel weird and untrusting. I am not happy in any if not most of my relationships. I just sit here and carry on like nothing is different but maybe that’s my problem. Some people are just surface level friends, it’s something I need to learn and remind myself constantly. Some people aren’t meant to deeply care about your well being, they’re just there to eat dinner with and talk about shoes, and that’s okay. 

I accomplished a huge thing for me recently and I told no one. No one would be proud but myself, and that’s okay. We’re all just growing into our own people and some people don’t care as deeply as I do or just show it as much as I do. I’m constantly in an inner battle between confronting those feelings and expressing myself and how I feel or covering it up and moving on and letting it bother me. 

They’re all in it for their own good. But aren’t we all? 

[patheticnotes]

You ever cut your hair off because one day you look in the mirror and no longer recognize yourself in some dumb attempt to feel more like yourself  

[patheticnotes]

Maybe it’s my lack of sleep but I’m feeling very vulnerable and I need to tell every single person how much they mean to me

[aleworldaddict]

‘A Happy Smile’  Londone Myers and Manami Kinoshita by Emma Tempest for Vogue Japan June 2017

[patheticnotes]

[patheticnotes]

sam

36mm

[patheticnotes]

salvation mountain, ca 

36mm

[patheticnotes]

salton sea, ca

36mm

[patheticnotes]

junk

36mm