In my unceremonial attempts to lowkey not go see the Spider-Man movie I wound it purchasing a ticket for the 2026 The Ice Cream Man.
The trailer for this movie marketed it almost as if it’s one of those comic horror movies; like it’s not going to take itself seriously.
I saw this movie by myself, not only did I go by myself, but I was the only person in the movie theater. Which should’ve been a red flag in itself, but I kinda enjoy “bad movies“ but little did I know.
Unfortunately, for me, this movie was almost nothing like it was marketed. This movie took itself seriously to the point where it wasn’t even funny. And the funniest parts of the movie are moments that the movie is not even trying to be comic.
I’m probably wrong because I did not go see Weapons. I kind of boycotted it after seeing the AI in the trailer. But just like Weapons this movie had so many children extras, and actors. And sadly just like Weapons it also included AI “animation“.
Ironically, for someone going into a field so morbid I strongly dislike senseless gore.
I can be around blood and other bodily fluids in my day to day life but when it’s fictional, lots of times in movies, I just think it’s really gross. In Obsession it didn’t feel unnecessary, and the gore was very realistic to the point that it didn’t bother me the same way that cartoony gore does. I don’t know why.
But this movie was horrible, not only in story, but especially in special effects. Not saying the affects were bad, but they were just so gruesome. If you’re the one who likes splash punk or the Terrifier movies maybe this is right up your alley. I just find it disgusting.
I beg you do not go see this damn movie do not put money in these people’s hands but if you desperately want to, and you don’t want spoilers, don’t continue to read this.
The movie started around this evil ice cream man that is actually been raised from the dead because when he was alive, he was falsely accused of pedophilic crimes that was actually performed by a priest in the local area.
The story is centered around mainly two people: a young boy and his sister. the boy is more focused on than his sister, but the entire lore is centered around his family because his family are generational lawyers. And it was actually their grandfather that got children to lie in court saying that the ice cream man was a pedophile, not the priest, and so he was locked away.
But what I don’t understand is that the ice cream man has come back from the dead years after all the children that were victims, and were told to lie on a stand are now adults and so NOW he is feeding children ice cream that like possesses them to kill their parents.
But what we are told in the movie is that he would never want to ever hurt children so why is it that he waits until the children that were victims of molestation and pedophilia to now be adults and then be murdered by their children. if you want nothing to do with hurting children, I don’t understand why he’s now waiting for those same children that he got so much joy from making happy when he was alive to be adults. Only a few few times he speaks in the movie. And both are underneath the blank statement that adults are liars. We’re supposed to believe this is because the lawyer got the children to lie, but it’s the same children that are now adults so is he mad at the children for lying? I know that sounds like a stupid question but in the movie it’s made to seem like he’s not, he’s mad at the broad idea of just adults in general.
And I’d still say the movie just gives up at the end but honestly I feel like the movie gave up way before the end like not even 30 minutes in. And the ending just pissed me off. I’m completely okkie with like not everyone surviving in the end. I understand that everyone dying in the end isn’t always a satisfying end, but sometimes it is what is necessary for the story.
This ending was not that.
The main kids of the film run to the church so main character’s older sister can pick them up because when teens eat ice cream instead of it possessing them like children or not affecting them like adult it puts them in a coma like state and she was like paralyzed until she made herself throw on her toothbrush. That scene alone flabbergasted me, but I’ll carry on.
While in the trash to go to the basement and in the basement, there is a freezer in the freezer it is the demonic ice cream also in the freezer is their priest.
This is where the movie takes a whole 180 and you actually find out that he’s like been brought back by a necromancer and he tells the children that they have to go to the cemetery to an unmarked grave to find the necromancer that took the ice cream man’s place.
Now try your best to stick along because this is the movie just becomes confusing as shit.
The priest tells the children that there’s a siren that will alert the necromancer if anyone digs up their grave, but they also cannot look at the necromancer, but also behead him. I’m just gonna go ahead and tell you that this is all just employed to get the children to kill their own parents.
And so this was just bullshit to get them to do so.
We then find out that the priest himself is like the necromancer. And after the children kill their mother and father, and they realize that they have killed their own mother and father the movie just ends with the ice cream man driving over the same heel that he arrived in the town by. With all the children following him and that’s just the end of the movie.
What the fuck was the reason for the movie? I don’t understand there was not any theme or moral and I’m saying there has to be a moral in a movie but was the moral when you’re a child and molested don’t lie in court because then a guy is gonna come back from the dead and kill you by using your own children as mindfucked minions.
Was movie is entertaining? Not really it was a movie and I feel like at this point I’d rather watch Megan 2 again.
If you have seen this and have actually enjoyed it, I truly don’t know how, I just applaud you.
