Patience to Endure @patiencetoendure - Tumblr Blog

The Morning Sun

When my beloved son passed away four months ago, I knew I would not survive if I failed to find gratitude. My drowning soul knew it was my lifeline. The small things were suddenly no longer overlooked. Yet the enormity of loss left me wondering how these tiny, fleeting moments of gratitude might soothe a heart hollowed by grief. But I tried. Each morning, I took my coffee, sat on the couch, and…

#Christian #Faith #God #grief #hope #loss

When The Road is No More

WordPress reminded me of a blog I posted eight years ago. I wrote the piece below not knowing that I would discover what happens when the second road ends. For twenty-four years we drove on our road and were grateful. We knew the alternative would have required the impossible of us and now it has. If life with Wesley was a bumpier road, life without him is a free fall nothingness. It is the…

#autism #grief #hope #loss #special needs

Scripture for the Hard Times

There is a level of deep grief and when we are in it, Scripture and platitudes do not help. Nothing seems to help. Four months after losing my precious son I am just beginning to emerge long enough to remember and hold onto some of God’s promises. May they encourage you.

#Christian #Faith #God #grief #hope #inspirational #Jesus #loss

The Split

This day will take more strength than I thought, sweet boy. I pray it doesn’t take more than I have. Today is Mother’s Day and you aren’t here. Thankfully, your brothers and Grandma are, so we will celebrate. There is now a split in my Mother’s Day. I will celebrate with two children while grieving one. It is an impossible situation yet somehow, I must persevere. I am no less a mother. Sweet…

The Gift I Never Asked For

Holding Grief and Gratitude After Losing a Child Grief is a thief. She takes from every corner, yet sometimes she leaves quiet, involuntary gifts to families like ours. Sweet boy, while I am waiting for rebuilding to begin, if it ever does, I wonder who I will become. I will always be your mom and still am to your brothers. And yet it is different now for all three of you. One of the confusing…

#becoming #caregiver grief #child loss #depression #Faith in Grief #grief #healing #hope #motherhood #psalms #scripture #trauma #Waiting

Grief changes everything including what matters. After losing my son I am learning how to survive the after.

Read the full piece Bed Rails - Patience to Endure

is mercy is there— just softer than my grief today.

#grief #child loss #bereaved mother #grieving mother #raw grief #deep grief #life after loss #faith and grief #christian grief #trusting God #hope after loss #identity after loss #loss changes you #motherhood after loss #patience to endure

I am still here. But not in the way I used to be.

#grief #griefjourney #grieving #loss #bereavement #lifeafterloss #livingwithgrief #griefandloss #griefquotes #griefwriting #poetry #tumblrpoetry #writersoftumblr #healingjourney #griefandgrace #intheafter #faithandgrief #hopeafterloss

First, last, and in between. I will see you again, sweet boy, in the land of my last tomorrow

In the Land - Patience to Endure

#grief #childloss #griefjourney #lifeafterloss #grievingmother #bereavedmother #mothergrief #missmyson #livingintheafter #landofyesterday #memoriesliveon #griefandlove #neverforgotten #griefwriting #poeticprose #writingthroughgrief #deepgrief #healingwords

A Whisper from Heaven

Sweet boy, I drove one our favorite routes today. The road has taken some damage over the years. So have I. The view, however, was ever the same. Grandma and Aunt Dolly went to see a friend from church play at the Batesville Market. It isn’t the kind of place we would have taken you. The building is old and not accessible. I had to carry Aunt Dolly’s walker up a few stairs and then help guide…

#child loss #christian grief #Faith in Grief #Grief Journey #grieving mother #holding on anyway #hope after loss #living in the after #questioning God #signs from God

The Direct Line

Sweet boy, last night I went to check on Grandma as she was in the garage, re-organizing. She has always loved projects but since you left, they are her lifeline. For her, Grief is temporarily hidden by keeping busy. There isn’t enough busyness in the world, though, for Grief to remain quiet. Every morning I sit on the couch waiting for the morning sun. I have been hunting for even the smallest…

#faith in suffering #Grief Journey #grieving a child #living in the after #medically complex child #motherhood after loss #trauma and healing #Trusting God

The Question

I took Baby to get his hair cut. I think he has grown taller since you left. The hairdresser couldn’t believe he was only thirteen years old. Since we were there, I checked to see if they could squeeze me in. It has been at least two years since I had a professional haircut. They had availability ten minutes after Nathan’s appointment began, so I waited. Something in me knew. My anxiety…

#grief #child loss #grieving mother #life after loss #firsts after loss #living with grief #love and loss #motherhood after loss #faith in grief #personal essay #writing through grief #holding joy and sorrow #this is what grief feels like

Out of the Grave

Sweet boy, today is our first holiday without you. It is one of those days I fiercely fight the tears because if they begin, they will not end. And that isn’t fair to your baby brother Nathan. Holidays can be tinged with grief and not tainted. We went to church this morning. I did cry during worship. It was such a strange mixture of…

#bereaved mother #child loss #Christian #Easter #Faith in Grief #grief #inspirational #sacred sorrow

Silence of Saturday

The hurt is constant but heavier today, sweet boy. Tomorrow is Easter and I will only make one basket. This will be our first family holiday in the after. I am hunting for the good. Every morning I wake up and my first thought is, “He is gone.” My second thought is a prayer. For peace. For comfort. For direction. For the gigantic space to abate even if just a little. For His Presence and…

#bereaved mother #childloss #Easter Refelction #Faith #grief #griefjourney #heartbreak #loss #mourning #sacred sorrow

Hunt for the Good

Sweet boy, we are approaching six weeks since the loss of you. At first I counted time by days and now in weeks. I don’t know why I mark the time from the day you died – only that I do. Just as we tell a baby’s age at first by days, then weeks, then months, then years so goes the marking of death. I have storages of unpacking to do including medical trauma interlocked with grief. Once the…

#Christian #Faith #hope #inspirational

Assured

Assured: something guaranteed, certain, confidently expected. When you were born, sweet boy, we had no idea you would have special needs. I went to the operating room for a repeat cesarean section fully expecting a normal, healthy baby boy. Your cry was weak. The room was silent. Something was not right. No one came to visit us in the hospital. When your brother Emerson was born two and a half…

#Christian #Faith #God #grief #hope #inspirational #Jesus #loss #special needs

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