“I’m Outraged That my Alma Mater Would Participate in Such Immoral Admissions Practices”
by Archibald Kennedy Ford Rockefeller III, Yale ‘05
Like many of you, I awoke yesterday shocked to discover news of a horrific scandal. No, not a Gentleman’s scandal like a DUI or a stock market crash, this one was serious.
Tuesday morning, FBI investigators uncovered widespread college admissions fraud. The nationwide scam placed the sons and daughters of Hollywood actresses, CEOs, and other wealthy individuals across the country into prestigious institutions of higher learning in exchange for 6 figure cash bribes.
I was even more appalled to discover that Yale University, my own alma mater, was among the universities implicated by the FBI. When such gross misconduct that threatens to unravel the very fabric of our meritocracy occurs, it is up to us alumni to speak out. Therefore I, Archibald Kennedy Ford Rockefeller III, am here to voice my outrage.
I’ve wanted to be a Yalie ever since I was 8 years old (the age when every member of our family is told they want to be Yalie), and I did so the old-fashioned way: straight C’s at Georgetown Prep, a summer internship at Morgan Stanley where I learned how to use a printer, and a letter from my Headmaster saying I had a cold, which is why I couldn’t attend my sophomore year.
So needless to say, my first reaction was one of embarrassment. Yale has certainly had its share of missteps (I still shudder when I remember that Skull and Bones let in that boy from the Walmart family), but an admissions officer accepting a $400,000 bribe is truly a new low. I mean, what does one even buy with $400,000? 1/3 of a stripper’s silence?
But most of all, I felt angry. Angry that the Dean, or as I call him: Father’s Golfing Buddy, allowed this to happen. And angrier still that an institution whose academic rigor, and unwavering moral compass I cherished would now forever be tainted by bribery and ignominy.
When I’m on campus next year at the ribbon-cutting ceremony for the Rockefeller Family Gymnasium, I’ll feel a pang of sorrow knowing that some students are only enjoying its Olympic-sized swimming pool due to some gauche “quid pro quo.”
Worse still, the normally delicious chicken risotto in the Kennedy Dining Hall just won’t taste as saffron-y when I think of the deserving student who might have eaten it alongside me. But that student’s spot was unjustly stolen by the spawn of some wannabe American dynasty. Call me a purist, but it’s not a “dynasty” if your grandparents were born in Iowa!
Most of all, I feel pity for the children of these celebrities. For they will never know what it’s like to attend a glorious institution like Yale through merit. They will never know the struggle of asking Grandfather to donate a rugby field, and then having to ask richer Grandfather to donate another, larger rugby field. I had to fight every step of the way to earn that coveted admissions letter, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
[by Paul McCallion]