Look at How Far You’ve Come: Part 1 Head Down
So in this years annual blog update I want to talk a little bit about my experience on teacher training. It has been one of the most difficult years of my life but I’m proud to say that I am a survivor! Which was a rarity among physics students. I want to focus on overcoming challenges I experienced and how I developed as a person and also the mindset of other people finding themselves in the same spot.
So casting my mind back over a year now I was heading down in my trusty Nissan Micra from Aberdeen in the middle of the week, very unusual for me. But this was for a very important meeting, one I knew could change my life and take me in a totally different direction and one which would reignite my passion for what I was doing. I was going to be a physics teacher, not a mechanical engineer.
This was a reboot of my life essentially, my university degree was nothing but a constant struggle which really dented my confidence as I wasn’t successful in what I was doing. So I wasn’t pushing myself to achieve new goals (my theme for the summer) and keep things fresh and inspiring. Furthermore those surrounding me were really pushing me down and I felt like I wasn’t being supported in anyway which is difficult especially considering I was 120 miles from home.
I had back to back presentations the first was to prove my worth as a teacher in Glasgow, the other was a dissertation presentation in Aberdeen the following day. I poured my all into the teaching presentation, which was worth while since I was offered a place there and then. There we go, this was the reboot I was waiting for, the shift I needed to spark me in to life again. My work would finally mean something to me.
So lets skip ahead a bit, teacher training is going well I’m settling in a nicely and I loved my first placement observing in a school this is definitely for me! Then I finally start teaching, things again going pretty well until all of a sudden the walls came crashing down …
One day I lost a class, they went out of control and I was left to drown. This was 3 days into my teaching career a time where the support of a classroom teacher is almost expected. Nope not for me and this was very much a theme for the department and also the tone for the placement. A few days after this I was told the kids didn’t like me (simply not true) and that I had no chance of passing my crit lesson in a few days.
This sent me into a downward spiral of negativity and self doubt, I think understandably so as a few weeks into your teaching career you’re a sponge taking in others opinions a relating little to your own. This is the sort of rut that becomes very hard to get out of though as you loose motivation and quite possibly the will to live. I’ll be quite honest and say that there were days when I was driving into Hell High School wanting to literally to drive into a tree.
How did I get through it then? Old Fashioned hard work.
I worked harder than I ever did in my entire life. I prepared full lesson plans for every lesson (something you are only expected to do once a day), I created a number of different activities for most lessons and all this led me to sleepiness nights and general insanity if I’m honest.
Did it pay off? Nope not at all nothing I could do would please them it was an unwinnable situation no matter what I did. This wasn’t just me other students suffered in this department in the exact same way. It baffles me as to why these people were so keen to bring you down, especially when criticisms could often easily be applied to the teachers.
Anyway I don’t want to come across as ranty and bitter, which I and others completely are I want to discuss how to overcome this. Obviously I’ve mentioned hard work and for me after this experience I didn’t take anything for granted, I left nothing on the table and gave my all each lesson which really paid off and led me to becoming the teacher I am today.
My final crit lesson at a different school, in a completely different atmosphere, was a roaring success and I ask myself could I have got to that point without the miserable experience?
I don’t think so. In future if I was treated like that I wouldn’t bite my tongue as I did but that’s just what you have to do being a student and they know that. But one thing it has taught me is that there are many others out there that do not want you to succeed and will stop at nothing to bring them down. Often these people will feel threatened by you or just won’t agree with your opinions or methodologies.
Don’t let these people bring you down, get your head down work hard and at the end of the day you’ll come out the other side better for it and have more confidence and self belief than you ever did before. That experience made me the teacher I am today, and look how far I’ve come since then.













