worried that cute top might trigger your "chest dysphoria"?
you're going to put it on anyways. first, just wear it in private, without anything underneath (unless it's a bra). stand in front of a mirror and take yourself in. notice how the material stretches over, clings to, or hangs off of your breasts. don't they fill your top out so nicely?
you could never look as pretty in it if you got rid of them, you know.
notice how you feel. do you feel uncomfortable? do you feel "dysphoric"?
that's okay. just notice your thoughts. don't be afraid to explore your body. familiarize yourself with how your breasts look and feel like this. what's wrong with them? can you even answer that question? eventually, you'll be able to notice and accept your thoughts and feelings as they are, and, in return, your breasts just as they are.
once you can do that, you'll be able to go out wearing that top in public--i'm sure your tits look great in it.
do you feel like you're not allowed to enjoy your breasts because you're a "boy"?
it's totally okay to like playing with your tits when you're a boy. they do that all the time, trust me. if you really feel that "dysphoric" about them, maybe try some kind of exposure therapy.
start by massaging your breasts. let your hands cup around them, notice their form. do they fit in your hands? does their mass rest over your body beneath, or are they small and perky? is their shape firm, or are they soft and yielding? is the skin soft, rough, dry? are your areolae puffy, flat? do your nipples grow and harden at your touch?
focus on the sensation of your hands exploring your breasts. their topology, their pleasures, their look, their mass. it feels good, doesn't it?
it's only natural to find pleasure in your own natal organs. there's nothing wrong with them. you can enjoy them just like any other woman--just like any other other person with breasts, i mean.
what's so wrong with being a woman, anyways?
there's nothing wrong with being a woman. there's no reason to be so resistant. are you sure you haven't internalized misogynistic ideas of what a woman "should" be?
women can be gender-nonconforming too, you know. it sounds like you're struggling with your self image. you should try practicing some self acceptance. you only need to start with noticing your thoughts, your feelings about your womanhood--your form, your stature, your organs designed to propagate life-- and challenge them.
this is the body you were given. you think that it has positive and negative properties, but really, a body is just neutral, as all bodies are. you're not going to let any artificial misgivings make you uncomfortable anymore. you're going to accept and love your body the way it is.
don't you think you'll be so much happier, no longer being in constant conflict with yourself?
it was all over nothing, after all. you're so much healthier now. no longer having those doubts, those disinclinations rising up, telling you things that aren't true, things that don't help you.
accepting your body means no more fighting. no more suffering. there's nothing wrong with your body, there's only something wrong with your relationship with it.