Pawsum's Giants

pawsum's works, and other pics from various sources

[pawsumsgiants]

How did this happen? I can't believe he didn't even notice I was there! How do I get his caustic slime off of me?

[pawsumsgiants]

watch out!

[pawsumsgiants]

THE FRIED PIPER

He’s got some new shit he came up with. It’s awful. It’s utter crap. He was drunk when he wrote most of it. None of that matters. The entire city is going to hear it. Everybody. EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. Nobody has a choice. 

(It’s okay though. Eventually we’ll all start humming along, tapping our feet. We’ll learn all the words...then we’ll all be out in the streets singing right along with him)

[pawsumsgiants]

"Sir, we've had reports of a giant man chasing down a beer truck, flipping it over, tearing into it, and guzzling its contents. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that wouldya?"

[pawsumsgiants]

[pawsumsgiants]

As per usual they both got blackout drunk the night before, fought over something stupid (destroying the neighborhood in the process), and woke up the following day forgetting anything even happened :-/

[pawsumsgiants]

it’s hard to tell if this thing is working or not...

i mean if i’m walking on a sandy beach then what is that crunching under my feet every time i take a step lol!

just sayin *

[pawsumsgiants]

These monsters are called Fila Disruptor sandals. Look at them. It seems like Fila made them just for macrophiles. Imagine a massive bearish giant lumbering through town in these. Imagine the chaos. Even the name ‘Disruptor’ is a subtle nod to we giant lovers. Think of the disruption caused by a huge dude stomping across town grinding into pulp houses, vehicles, and even people under these gnarly soles. Look at that  tread pattern. These were designed to inflict maximum damage. These things look angry, built to punish. I love them. I’d love to see a giant in them.

[pawsumsgiants]

Craig broke the news to his landlord Mark. He’d be another month late with the rent again. He was already six months in debt to little Mark who rented out a room in his house to his giant guest. Ever since Craig was fired from his construction job 8 months ago after failing a drug test he never looked for work again. He stayed holed up in his filthy trash-strewn room gaming, masturbating to porn, smoking weed, and listening to crappy music. It was as if he reverted to a teenager except has 8′4″. Worst of all he ate so much that his landlord had to sell one of his properties to keep Craig fed. Most landlords would have kicked Craig out after the first month of nonpayment. This landlord, however, was different. Craig had a certain power over Mark. Whenever Craig would break the news to his landlord that there would be no rent from him that month, Mark would begin to protest. Then Craig would kick off his trashed Vans, immediately filling the room like a stinkbomb of mind-altering rank that would force Mark to his knees huffing in the intoxicating scent of Craig’s massive ripe feet like a can of paint. Craig had a little trick. He wouldn’t change his socks for a week before the rent was due. That way when he pulled off his stinky skater shoes his socks would be encrusted with a putrid layer of fermented footsweat that seemed to contain chemicals that went straight to Mark’s cerebral cortex since, after one long sniff he would lose all spatial awareness, balance, and sense of time. All he knew was when it was all over Mark was sure there was a such thing as God. He’d forget about the rent for another 30 days. 

[pawsumsgiants]

After a while I surrender myself to the fact that the NSA is watching me through the camera on my laptop, Google knows I’m into fat guys with big feet and smelly socks, and CVS.com is well aware that I had an anal wart scare last month. I can disconnect from the system completely but otherwise it’s almost pointless to try. Once I engage in the slightest interaction with the technology it begins. A trail is created. My identity is verified and my plug is inserted into its designated hole. I’ve decided it’s easier to just be ok with it. It’s way too big to fight and I don’t want to draw attention to myself. It’s best to just let them watch. Eventually they’ll get bored and move on to the next guy/.

[pawsumsgiants]

The pissed off giant stomped throughout the city streets angrily yelling profanities at the terrified little citizens who scrambled to get out of his way. He swore that someone in town stole his lighter and if it didn’t turn up in 10 minutes he was going to ‘tear this piece of shit town apart’ with his bare hands. As the deadline approached the nervous citizens gazed on as the giant reached behind his greasy ear and produced the lighter. “My bad” said the giant.

[pawsumsgiants]

“ooochie cooochie coo!”

[pawsumsgiants]

As the interview progressed the reporter realized she was falling madly in love with him

[pawsumsgiants]

[pawsumsgiants]

He needed room to open her up. He spent years working on her and he needed room to test her out. He tried to take her out for a spin downtown but by the time that was over he had damaged or destroyed 25 vehicles and caused almost $1 million damage to structures. The thing was just too damn big to tool around town safely. Enter the county airport. The airport director figured he ha d an answer to the giant's driving dilemma. He offered to let the giant gearhead have full access to the airport runways for a few hours every Sunday. All activity at the airport would be completely shut down for those hours so the giant wouldn't have to worry about accidentally running over anything or anyone. For three weekends the agreement worked well, but on the fourth Sunday the giant overstayed his allotted time by almost an hour which caused severe disruptions in flight schedules in the region. The following week he overstayed his allotted time by three hours and when he left he had placed a very large toolbox in the middle of a taxi way. He announced that this was the new permanent spot for the toolbox and that nobody should attempt to move the toolbox. The following day he declared that he needed the entire D Concourse area of the airport because he was going to keep his precious baby beast at the airport. He was going to convert part of D Concourse to a garage in which he could work on the vehicle.

[pawsumsgiants]

[pawsumsgiants]

uh oh, God’s been watching fox news again. he was prattling on about some nonsense and buildings crumbled, continents shifted, and oceans left their confines