Goals! @pax-bellum - Tumblr Blog

I've Been Binging So Much

I've wasted over a month and I was supposed to have gotten to my UGW by now. I went to my lowest of 43 then binged and overate to 45 restricted to 43 then I'm back to 45. I don't know what to do I'm so scared of 46 though. NGL I've been pretty depressed lately and eating because of boredom. I'm not even hungry and I just eat and eat. I hate myself. I wish I was skinny. The worst thing is I feel myself slowly giving up and Christmas is just around. I'll probably gain another 3 kg then and then want to die. Could I really reverse all that. hard work? Maybe I could fast till Christmas?

poison-barbzz

You know for somebody who let's their ed rule their life, I sure do suck at having an ed

#tw ana bløg #3d but not sheeren #3d not sheeran #tw 3d vent #light as a feather #4nor3xia #tw ed ana #3d f4st #tw ana rant #i wanna be sk1nn1

Thinspo or Fatspo?

I need to lose 5 more kilos!! Anyway I was trying to look skinny. I’m not uhhh

Dreams of Eating

Do you guys ever dream of eating? Anyway when I'm 39 kg I'm going to listen to my cravings for 1 day.

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs, feta eggs on sourdough, french toast, pancakes!

Lunch: Roti Pies and then local bakery and Brot & Wurst

Dinner: Lola Cocina! Korean food cause I love it!! Probably kimchi fried rice with cheese and spam musubi. I love Korean food cause that's my background but I can't calculate the calories and my mum dumps seasame oil so I can't eat it. uhhhh

Progress!! I started off at the end of October and in 55 days lost 6 kg (lowest 6.6 kg). I had a little hiccup as you can see very recently but I have gotten back to around the lowest weight and gonna try to get to 41.5 kg by Sunday with LOST OF FASTS. I think this binge episode was goodish because I kept on thinking it was just water weight and I would lose it in a few days because I didn't want to think I'd gained weight. A bit wannarexic but you know. NOW I WILL NOT BINGE. I have gotten rid of a lot of the foods I've been obsessed about eg. cheese I would think about cheese so much but now after binging on them for ages it's meh.

#bede motylkiem #chude dziewczyny #light as a 🪶#sw33tsp0 #tw ana bløg #tw block don't report #to the bone #⭐️ve #light as a feather #bmi 15 #sk1nnyl3g3nds #sk1nny legs #sk1nny #tw thinspi #4nor3xia #sk1nny aesthetic #i wanna be sk1nn1

I've Binging so Much :(

So I binged four times this month. But the real damage was done because it was 2 successive binge days with 3 days of maintenance calories than 2 successive binge days. I was 43.4 kg and then I gained back to the highest weight of 45.2 kg and I had already been in a bit of a plateau with the 43s anyway. I just fasted for two days but it was a dirty fast (I had a 100-calorie salad cause my mum makes me eat). I just got 1 kg off though! So if I continue at this pace I hope I can make it to 42 or 41 kg by Sunday to recover the lost progress because in theory, I should've hit 42 if I hadn't been binging. After all, I was just doing 800 cal a day with occasional 1000s. The plan is to faston Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday. I think I might have to eat more than on Sunday because I'm going Christmas Market shopping with my bestie!! Then it's Christmas and I'm hoping I don't gain any weight back. Best case scenario is 24th we're eating something I really don't like so I'll fast 24th. 25th I'll have to be very aware of what I'm eating but hopefully 1300 cal is the goal cause 1500 is maintenance and I get some physical activity in. The 26th I probably have to worry about brekkie and lunch and try to get a smaller dinner or no dinner. Then I'll fast till the end of the month!!