Plastic Bitch

Murdoc Niccals 'ere, a bassist that's dwelling in the fucking void.. haw.[Current M!A: None]

[pay-in-niccals]

ok yrs i will sleep but i knwo youte a big meanie liar and you dokt like me. Good night

Murdoc sets off cackling, flicking the end of his cigarette off into a nearby portal.

".. I'll have you find that currently... You are the 'big meanie liar and don't like me' since you don't trust my word. That's rather hurtful Faust."

[pay-in-niccals]

but am i yor FAVOURITE paij in the ass?????

"If I answer yes will you sleep..?"

Murder grunts sitting himself into a chair, noting his back hurts a major fuck ton.

"... Because if so, definitely. One thousand percent.."

[pay-in-niccals]

Zpick me up pick me up pick mr up i took to much og my DUMB STUPID MOTHER fucking medicine

The bassist does as he's told, cradling the cigarette between his lips, as he hoists the tiny demon child into the air at a full arms length just to shake him a tiny bit—

"Yer a pain in the arse, Faust."

Before putting the boy to bed.

"..Lay there and don't get out till you feel better, got it?"

[pay-in-niccals]

either no one noticed or no one cared because i had to lose him on my own by weaving through aisles and no one said a word. absolutely ridiculous but at least i didnt get abducted or hurt

"At least?!"

Murdoc grumbles to himself, considering the fact no one helped a kid clearly in distress.

"...I know they don't get paid enough to even work, but fucking hell.. You'd think they'd give a shit about the fact you could be kidnapped, eh?"

[pay-in-niccals]

well i just wanted to buy some coffee and tea and the one dude who had to be in his mid 40s got literally right up behind me like inches from me. breathing in my fucking ear. i grab the coffee and run off but he followed me for fucking ever and i was about to leave all the groceries and run away but i couldnt because it was my job alone to get food to cook so

Despite them being dead, he still reaches through a portal to toss them into the middle of the ocean for good measure.

"..Was there no one in the store that could've helped, employees and whatnot?"

[pay-in-niccals]

the only person id ever poison is myself FATHER. also did i tell you the story about how i became a target for two weird men in the grocery store like yesterday

He pauses hearing this, then after standing from his chair to leave the room for a moment, just as quick as he had left, he comes back a slight bit out of breath, wiping blood off of his face; it's lucky his jumper is black, but that stain is still noticeable the bassist realises unfortunately.

"Not anymore, but carry on."

Green hands gesture for the young man to continue with his story.

[pay-in-niccals]

well. eat the food i offer anyway loser it didnt kill my dad when i fed it to him so youll be fine

Murdoc snorts, already eating the food because why the fuck wouldn't he.

"Are you sure..? You've got to have heard of that ice in the drink game, so maybe it's all a matter of timing, I eat this and I die."

More laughing, Murder is still eating the grub he's been offered.

"..Would definitely be recommending you to some people if I do."

[pay-in-niccals]

did yoy know am a chef

"Well, I always assumed you were something, though.. Making things edible wasn't one of them."

He chuckes.

[pay-in-niccals]

the suicidal part or the fuck you part? i would never actually say fuck you to you and mean it so i guess you know which part is true ! i do not lie to you ever

"..Mmh."

Murder turns to his phone again, staring blankly at it for a bit, then throws it absentmindedly before he just leaves the room.

[pay-in-niccals]

yknow what? its a good thing im always constantly suicidal actually fuck you

It wasn't that he was particularly smiling in the first place, but it had definitely gone now.

"Do you mean that?"

[pay-in-niccals]

if you die any FUCKING more ill die for real then youll be sorry you big fuck. i have nightmares for days im going to throw something at you

Holding back a laugh, the bassist proceeds takes out a notebook after the threat, scribbling into it.

"How hard would setting up a catapult be do you think?.. Doesn't need to stay together... Hm, one time use..."

Taking out his phone, typing for moment as he snickers, it appears he's ordered a set of planks and a sex doll to use as a practice dummy.

[pay-in-niccals]

well you have to admire it for a sec since it was almost the end of me but i can say that about many things which you are aware of

He nods again, counting on his fingers the times Faust has almost got himself killed.

"I'm definitely missing a few... How many is it now?"

Murdoc hums, amused at his next thought.

"And how many times do I have to die to match it.."

[pay-in-niccals]

i should have gifted you the rebar stake that almost killed me as a child but theres still time

"Mmh.. If do plan on handing it over, it's getting melted into something else, y'know that right?"

Tossing an empty container into a portal, Murder turns his attention to the next packet of snacks, handing them over to you.

[pay-in-niccals]

youre welcome it would have been better and like real but i have no money and i feel like 1. youd not like something heartfelt anyway 2. you know i care you. 50 4

He nods assuring what Faust said was true, then piles his mouth with party rings.

"You know me so well kid, you really do.. Fifty four and still looking, well... Doll can expand on that."

And another mouthful of party rings dissapear.

[pay-in-niccals]

this year for your birthday i offer a half decomposed mouse and a not at all decomposed plate of cutted up fruit that might have my blood on it i know i cut my finger somewhere

Murdoc pushes Faust's offerings into a box, then seals it before he kicks it under the bed.

"Cheers mate.. Best birthday present I've ever had."

[pay-in-niccals]

50 4

[pay-in-niccals]

FUCI YOU

He sighs, scissors in hand, holding a random length of hair between his fingers.

"What do I owe for this delightful greeting?"