my DNA test results came back positive. i definitely have DNA.
quit bragging
šŖ¼

ā
will byers stan first human second
One Nice Bug Per Day
Misplaced Lens Cap

#extradirty

ellievsbear
Xuebing Du

Andulka
trying on a metaphor
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

⣠Chile in a Photography ā£
$LAYYYTER
Mike Driver
hello vonnie
Keni
Show & Tell
i don't do bad sauce passes
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
taylor price

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@peachesandrylee
my DNA test results came back positive. i definitely have DNA.
quit bragging
Me: I love bees :) theyāre very important for the ecosystem and theyāre cute and make honey
A bee: buzz
Me, shaking and crying: please donāt hurt me
This is exactly me
i am so gentle and kind hearted
and stupid
*walks into kitchen at 2 am*
ā¦wow okay.. i need to be quietā¦
TRIPS OVER CHAIR, BREAKS LEG, CATCHES HOUSE ON FIRE
who brushes their teeth in the kitchen?
what
help, my wife got wine drunk and tried to set our marriage certificate on fire, saying āgood luck trying to return me without the receiptā
thoseĀ āmonkey brain/human brainā posts except the monkey brain is presented as the rational one
monkey brain: extra body hair provides warmth and producing it but then cutting it off wastes valuable nutrients
human brain: hehe leg smooth
*looking at a tiger*
monkey brain: that animal right there is a dangerous predator adapted for stalking, chasing, and quickly dispatching of creatures like us. we should find high ground to get away from it before it sees us
human brain: hehe kitty wana pet
monkey brain: the ocean is the last place we want to be right now. weāre not built to swim and weāll likely drown within five minutes. and letās not even get into what might want to kill us once we get into open water
human brain: wheee swimmy
i canāt believe there are people that are still in high school like⦠itās literally 2018 how have you not grown up yet damn
Are you perhaps some sort of idiot?
7 million people in the earth. 0 messages in my Inbox
7 million
in the earth
free them
THICK FORK THICK FORK THICK FORK
In this world itās yeet or be yeeted
when she succ you in the bus
she a succubusĀ
sometimes you gotta: thank god thatās finished! and move on girl
Iām the random punctuation