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@peachgirllikesapples
━ prev.; @peachgirllikesapples ━
Attention. Good. He was aiming for that.
"Nooooo. I want daifuku. Can we go get some?"
Smiling at the thought of Daifuku and spending time with her friend Momo nodded happily. "Of course, hopefully we can get lots I'm quite hungry."
I held my arms tight as I looked to towards my window. The night sky made all the city lights glow with all sorts of colors and the rain that poured hard distorted those colors.
It was actually beautiful, but I cant appreciate such a beautiful scene right now. I was to caught up in my own head, I was to caught up in the mixed feelings I had for Umaso.
"... He'll have to go back right? To his own world, I knew this, I know this... But I dont want him to go." I tightened my grip on my arms as the tears flowed down my face. 'I dont want him to choose that other person, but what right do I have to make him stay. That person must feel like I do if not worse right? But I dont want to let him go that easily-no at all!' I hate my conflicting mind, it was a nuisance, I was a nuisance, I really needed to make up my mind.
Touching my hand on the window it was cold as I curled my fingers into a fist. Staring at my reflection I yearned to leave here and find Umaso.
But I couldn't, it wasnt right of me to go and influence his decision. It was his choice, I shouldn't make him stay, I sighed.
"Its not fair... why did he have to be born in another world? Why couldn't have I been in his world? Sure I wouldn't like meeting that other person but at least it would be a more fair chance for us fighting over Umaso..." At least then I wouldnt feel guilty on feeling selfish.
I hated crying like this, what good is there to cry if you don't have a solution? Trying to wipe my tears away I looked to my phone and opened the messenger app. It took me right away to mine and Umaso's chat and I smiled at the ridiculous text he had sent me a few hours ago.
"Geez do you make everyone fall for you? I really wonder whose heart cupid will shoot with the rejection arrow... well when I think of it, it will be me after all you do have to return."
'...You'll go back to that friend of yours and reconnect and be way better than before.' With my tears coming back I wiped them again and again but they wouldn't stop.
Be selfish and guilty
Or
Be broken hearted and sad
'Damnit...Damnit.....Damnit!! Screaming in my head I ran out of my room and the out of my house. Not caring about being soaked or getting sick I just ran until I felt my heart was about to explode.
When I finally stopped I leaned onto the nearest tree and pounded away at it.
"I'm sorry, but I like him to, I-I WONT LOSE HIM TO YOU!" I yelled to the sky, guilt weighed on my heart, I didnt like it, but I was someone who had never been selfish before.
I listened to my father and brothers and abandoned my dreams, I stopped dressing in cute clothes. I gave up a lot of things just to make my life easier.
"But I dont want to live like that anymore-I-I dont want to give him up! I want to be selfish and have him all to myself. I wont let you have him! and if you come here I'll fight you! And win!" My words were only for me, that other person would never hear them. It was refreshing, being like this.
'Though honestly I hope you never come here...' It was horrible to wish but my greedy self didnt care.
I smiled as I looked around at the lights around me. The weight in my heart lessened as I finally made my decision.
"Now I just need to figure out how to tell him my feelings." I spoke softly while gently hugging myself as I walked through the city. Finally I could appreciate the beauty of the scenery.
"This is definitely the right decision." My smile wouldnt fade as I made my way to the hotel Umaso was staying at.
"Mooooomoooo-kuuuuuuun~"
"Hm? What's up Umaso is everything okay?" Momo asked with curiosity as she looked back towards the other.
━ prev.; @peachgirllikesapples ━
"Poor me - and there you almost convinced me to be the merciful helper you claimed to be just now. Or am I just not as cute as these birds?" Chuckling about his analysis Dazai followed the younger, shrugging about her question.
"A friend? Hm... good question. I don't think that's what we are. I personally never really thought about how to call it... Maybe it would hit closer to say we are connected by fate. At least that is what I would have called it before I came here. Afterall it is hard to claim that when we aren't even existing for eachother anymore." It was barely audible, however for someone attentive there was a crack in his carefree attitude notable again, lasting only short before his perfect act was covering anything ugly up.
"He is working for me. I hope that he goes crazy right now turning every stone in Yokohama in search for me, not knowing where I went~ I can literally hear his upset growling in my mind as if he was right next to me."
Momo couldn't help turn her head to look at Umaso. She thought on all that he just said and how he said it, she at least tried to analyze him, though it was quite hard.
You can only read his appearance but even then he could fool you with that.
"You know despite not knowing you I would worry about you on my own accord. Because of this rather than wishing he was worried you should know that he already does." Continuing to the door Momo opened it while still looking at Umaso.
"I also dont quite get it, especially since well I just met you, but if you feel your connected by fate then keep that connection, dont lose it. Connections only get lost if you dont do anything about it. But I get it's not easy to keep either so just go at a pace that's right for you and it should work out just fine." Momo chirped with a bit of confidence, it felt like she said the right words, hopefully they would be of some help to him.
━ prev.; @peachgirllikesapples ━
"Fine by me~ I haven't been there in a while so might end up looking a bit rusty regarding my fighting skills. I hope for mercy." Hopping smoothly up he was quick back to stand despite the rather immobilizing sitting position he had been in. Leaning down he offered the raven-haired woman a hand to get up easier too.
"May I? --DDR surely suits you, I bet I'd stand no chance against you. Especially considered I never played it myself." Aside from that his clothes - a dark designer suit - didn't scream DDR champion either.
"The chibi tried to convince me couple of times to get me onto that thing - I bet he planned on embarrassing me. I never gave in though. And now I regret not seizing the opportunity." Despite the softness his voice had there was a hint of a heavier emotion soaking through it that his smile tried to cover up. "Could have used some practice against an agile beauty like you."
Allowing to be pulled up Momo couldn't help but blush at being called a beauty. He definitely was charmer, something she didnt mind to much at all. But what kind of charming was he being, was it to gain something? Something he naturally liked to do?
This mystery man just kept coming with more and more mysteries. "Hm, well maybe it would because despite how you ask for mercy I cant give that to you. When I play I don't like going easy nor do I want the other to go easy on me." Picking up her things Momo slowly started to walked ahead becoming curious of who this Chibi was.
"Also this Chibi, is he a friend of yours?" She mentioned slightly curious.
'... I wonder if this person is important to him, must be when he has that kind of face. But am I allowed to ask such a thing when I hardly know him?'
"Momoooooo-kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun. Nobody gave me Valentine chocolate." Very very sad face.
"Really? I'm surprised I thought you would have gotten alot... Well it's not much but why don't we get something together right now? All of the sweets will be cheaper today and well... it can be a Valentine's Day thing for us ya know." Momo couldn't help but feel nervous, though not in a bad way. To be more precise she was feeling more excited than anything, it had been awhile since she hung out with her friends.
Along with the fact Umaso was a new friend so she wasn't to sure how this would go. But she would make it good and well that's all that really mattered.
━ prev.; @peachgirllikesapples ━
Dazai wasn't really sure of why this girl tried so persistently to say the right things for him. On one hand she was putting effort for him so much but on the other hand she wasn't even honest with him - at least not completely. And that despite not being fixed by any boundaries. There wasn't anything she needed to worry about him, regarding the question that had been asked by him so far at least.
Anyways - there was something he could work with.
"The arcade? You like videogames, Momo-kun?"
He didn't say anything to the rest - he couldn't. There wasn't lying a sense in it for him. Neither was he planning to call the girl out. It surely was frustrating to hit that weird wall with her but it didn't look like it was going to change.
‘Did I say something wrong?’ She wondered but whether she did or didn’t he didn’t have to respond to her. In fact from meeting up with him Momo could tell he was a person who will jump at things he’s interested in.
So since the arcade was more fun than this topic of course he would hop onto that. ‘Or maybe I don’t need to worry so much about that.’
“Hmhn! I do, though I more play at the arcade rather than console games. In particular I like the fighting games and the DDR one, that one I’m the best in!” Momo smiled at that and from an idea that popped into her head.
“Why don’t we go there? Since these guys are fed,” She point to the baby birds. “There isn’t really much to do up here.” She wondered if this sounded weird especially to someone she just met.
But she did find this strange man interesting so honestly Momo hoped that maybe she could make a friend out of him.
━ prev.; @peachgirllikesapples ━
Listening her apologize for her lie with the next one the brunett decided to leave it be as promised, returning a smile as she gave him one.
"Hm. I see. Maybe... there is indeed nothing that is worth pursuing. Until now nobody was able to prove me wrong. How high are the odds that you will?"
Offering her back the tweezers he shifted again, supporting himself on his other hand as he leaned back. "Then.. Can I ask what you do like? Except for worm massacres~?" No - he wouldn't stop guilttripping her about the insects anytime soon.
”You... You aren't gonna let this go aren't you...” Momo mumbled with a sigh as she accepted tweezers. She wasn't sure how to respond to his first question, of course she wanted to reply that but Momo felt she didn't have the right to.
She barely new this man there was no way she can make such a promise.
"Well, I like a lot of things, but I guess if I had to list my favorites it would be cooking and skateboarding, going to the arcade, those kind of things... and well...” Putting the lid back onto the container of worms for a moment Momo looked more at Umaso a bit hesitant on saying anything to his first question.
“I can’t say if I have any odds for proving you wrong, but what if that’s the thing. What if it’s the anticipation of wanting to see if someone will prove you wrong, I don’t know how to but maybe I can someday. So keep letting that anticipation run through you because you will have a lot more fun from that than simply jumping off a stupid school like this.”
━ prev.; @peachgirllikesapples ━
"Mā~ I think you don't understand what I am asking. Or are you trying to tell me you don't have any dreams? I know that's a lie without even needing to look at you. You do have dreams, you believe into faith, hard work and a little help for that reason. I know it, you wouldn't talk like this if not."
"However, I understand if you don't want to tell me. Telling someone about your dreams is like allowing them to take a glace at who you are. Nobody enjoys it to be naked. Because 'what if they laugh?', right?"
Shifting in his position the mafioso now sat down too, crosslegged - way more comfortable than his crouch and definitely not a position you would take if you planned on hopping up and leave the next moment.
"I won't push you. If not now, maybe another time you dare to tell me. But I promise you now: I won't laugh."
Noticing how comfortable the other was a slight shock for Momo. She hadn’t been expecting that at all. ‘Maybe I did do something,’ she thought and felt a bit relieved at this.
“No, I meant what I said, well, I guess actually my dream is to have one,” she lied. “I don’t have one yet but I’d like to, I didn’t mean to lie I just wasn’t realizing, and it’s also why I’m just trying to enjoy the things I like right now.” She responded with a smile, everything was feeling nice now.
“Because what else can I do? If I fret to much I’ll stress myself out, if I enjoy what I like I’ll find it sooner or later.”
It wasn’t stressful at all anymore and it was nice getting that reassurance that He wouldn’t laugh. But she had just met this person, she couldn’t admit her true dream to a stranger.
And honestly what’s the point of telling a dream if you weren’t doing anything with it? If you didn’t believe in it yourself?
“But thank you!” She spoke cheerfully.
“That’s reassuring to hear, most people don’t even offer that so once I figure it out you’ll be the first one to know.”
I just am finding to many songs for Momo, doesn't matter if they match she will just like these songs.
I forgot Julie London had her own version it's nice as well.
Posting more songs that momo will sing and like. Though she’d sing it more slow like Jessica Rabbit, I thought to add the original cause she would like that as well.
Been looking at dresses cause Momo wants to be a singer possibly. But she struggles with if she can go through doing that because being a singer is hard, especially in Japan with all that idol fetish. Along with that, she is worried about agencies wanting to change her style to different music rather than Her style which is very much Jazz/1920’s.
So I found these dresses which I felt would fit her if she was born in that time period.
Or honestly she might even wear these now XD they look so good.
━ prev.; @peachgirllikesapples ━
Once again he picked a worm from the box, looking at it closely. "Did you listen, Worm-san? Too bad Momo-kun ain't the bug type. Means you won't live because you don't get that helping hand that puts you back into the grass." Dropping the worm over a beak the brunett then directed his gaze back towards the girl.
"I'm interested. What is it that made you enjoy helping that handful lives to continue existing by sacrificing hundreds of these little fellas? Not that I would judge, I know that's how life is. But you see, it can be just an unfortunate decision that determines whether you can live your life the way you want or not. Often one that you don't even make yourself."
The more the raven had been saying the more entertaining it had gotten for Dazai. But the best was how she had ended her whole struggle of words. Which of course he wasn't planning to leave uncommented- denying a lady an answer would be cruel afterall.
"You're asking a man who was about to jump from your school's rooftop into his probably certain death what goals he got? Take a guess, I bet you're able to figure it out quick. But honestly I am surprised you wouldn't be able to tell me about your hard work... Maybe you misunderstood? Is there nothing you do besides killing worms and saving strangers from jumping off buildings?"
“....???”
Momo couldn’t help but pale at everything the other said. She didn’t know how to counter act all of this, on the smallest of technicalities he was right.
That and she didn’t think that through with the question she just asked... Momo was at a real loss, she felt bad, confused, and despite him saying so she felt judged.
Which was the worse feeling of all, she already experienced this with her classmates due to rumours and her with failing last year. She wasn’t liking this at all and didn’t need all this.
“....I just, that’s not...I just wasn’t thinking when I asked that back I’m sorry.” If only she could be alone right now then she could freak out more and talk to herself out loud, but she couldn’t.
She had to try and swallow all of these feelings, she had to make sure she was breathing normally so to look not as freaked as she was on the inside.
”And well so far yes, that's technically what I'm doing, I'm just enjoying life while trying to figure out what I will work for.” Momo responded wondering if this was a good response.
But due to how Umaso was she couldn't tell anything on how he was thinking, which meant Momo had no clue if what she said was good or not. ’Well I guess it's better to deal with this than have him be dead.’
Im on a roll and this song makes me think of Umaso a lot XD @dazuicide
@dazuicide This kinda makes me think of Momo and Umaso a bit once they get to be together.
Ye this is Momo, she gets knocked down usually by her own self-esteem but rises back up when she can.
