tl;dr - have writer's block. last wrote 2013. please help, send request. thank you! <3
yeah so this morning i just had an epiphany that i haven't written anything that was outside of work purposes for more years than i'd like to count so i feel that i would like to start writing again and since i made this blog for treasure i suppose it only makes sense for me to write about treasure on it therefore please please send a request and help me shake my writer's block even though i can't guarantee that my writing will be good but i assure you i will do my best and give it my all just like how treasure always do their best
synopsis: You were the bad girl. He was ever so faithful. What happens when heâs had enough?
snapshot: 99.9% angst, female reader, boyfriend Junkyu, colleague Jaehyuk, infidelity, drunk, one-night stand, is this a happy ending
sky says: Hereâs a story I wrote a looooooong time ago that I published on another platform, just to serve as a teaser of my writing prowess (>_<) my actual writing skills may have deteriorated though [I hope not!] Also, obviously I tweaked the original so that the story could fit Treasure⊠if you enjoy this please feel free to send a request! [hereâs why]
â The Fight, If It Was Even One
You wipe the counter, missing the sprinkling of crumbs right in front of you. Your eyes are looking straight at it without actually seeing it. Itâs the way you usually are these days, ever since the fight. The one that happened right in this very kitchen, if it could even be called a fight.
âWhy is he here?â he had asked.
âHe was drunk last night and gave my address to the taxi driver. It was nothing,â you had insisted. You had shrugged your shoulders and sipped from your coffee mug.
âItâs not nothing if he spent the night here!â he had hissed at you. How dare he.
âSo what if he spent the night? This wouldnât be the first time...â your voice had trailed off as you realised your blunder. You had bit your lip and glanced at him, wondering how heâd take that in.
He had stood there fuming. The muscles in his right cheek, the side that had been facing you, had twitched from the way he had gritted his teeth.
The person in question had appeared at the kitchen entrance then, only halfway done pulling his own shirt over his head, allowing the two people in the kitchen a glimpse of his well-toned abs.
âNoona, I think Iâll be going now. Thanks for...â he had shot a look at the man still standing motionless near the sink, then smirked to himself and continued mysteriously, â...last night.â
âWait... arenât you at least going to finish your coffee?â you had asked.
âThatâs okay, Iâve had some. Besides, Junkyu hyungâs here now. Iâll just be in the way.â
âWell, let me just walk you out.â
âReally, itâs fine noona. I can let myself out. See you at work?â
âOh alright. Yeah, see you.â
Junkyu had waited until he heard the faint sound of the front door click shut before he spoke.
â_______, I canât do this anymore. Last time I believed you. This time... I donât know. After what I saw, I just... I donât know.â
You had looked up then. Am I hearing things? Has he finally grown some balls? Have I really pushed it too far this time? You had cleared your throat and put on your best poker face. âYouâll forgive me. Just like you always do. This time wonât be any different.â
At your words, he had looked resigned. âAre you saying that what I thought happened last night, happened?â
âWhat do you think?â you had replied, a challenge clear in your voice.
âThen itâs over.â Just like that, he had left.
You waited two weeks for his call: it never came. He didnât text you to tell you that you were forgiven, like always. He didnât come by the bar where you worked. In fact, there was no word from him at all. You werenât worried, not at the time. You knew it would take him time. Another two weeks should do it. You werenât going to panic and call or look for him. Oh no, you werenât one to do that. Heâd be back soon enough. Meanwhile, there was plenty of other game. You had thought of Jaehyuk then, and felt kind of guilty towards both of them.
â The Past, When It All Started
You knew you werenât pretty, not what people would ordinarily call pretty anyway. Because of that, you made up for it with an aura of confidence that was irresistible to the people around you. You were no stranger to attention. In high school you hadnât fit in anywhere--partly because you didnât want to--but you always had a string of boys following you around, worshipping the ground you walked on. Hell, youâd even had a girl ask you out. And although girls really didnât pique your interest, the way youâre attracted to him might have just proven that wrong. His baby face and full pouty lips. That smooth jawline. Unblemished clear skin. You wouldâve thought he was a girl if it werenât for his school uniform. You did think he was a girl that first time you two met, until he stood up.
âWhat do you think youâre doing?â you had asked the person you noticed lurking behind the bushes.
âUm... watching you play?â Such a bold answer from someone whoâd been trying so hard not to be seen. It had totally taken you by surprise, which wasnât something easy to do.
âMe, why?â The person had shrunk even lower behind the shrubs at your question. You had waited for an answer but when none came, you had said, ânever mind if youâre not going to tell, keep on watching thenâ. And you had grabbed the ball you came for off the ground and flounced away.
âI like you!â
You had turned around, surprised once again. Twice in as many sentences. He had stood where you could see him, away from the bushes. You had liked what you saw straightaway.
You two had been together ever since.
Four years.
And you had never been faithful.
Maybe it was partly his fault. He kept on being so forgiving. Even when he had found you locking lips with Haruto, the dashing basketball team captain, behind the bleachers in the gym. Even when you had told him youâd be studying at the library, but his best friend Jihoon saw you making out in the art room with some guy. Even when you had broken off your date, countless times over the years, to go out with someone else. Even when he stopped by your workplace, just to keep you company on your breaks from DJing, and you had flirted with the good-looking younger bartender right in front of his eyes.
Always, he would just shrug his shoulders and say that you were just being yourself.
âI love you, because youâre you. You are your own person, and I wouldnât change that for the worldâ is what he would say every time you asked if he was angry at you for the things you did.
But that fateful morning he had come to your house to see if you wanted to go get breakfast together, let himself in with the spare key you yourself had given him, found you in the kitchen with that same bartender, who was shirtless and hugging you from the back, had that conversation with you, and something must have snapped in him. For the first time in four years, Junkyu went away.
And stayed away.
The two weeks that you had thought would be enough had turned into two years. You had feared for the worst when he still hadnât contacted you after two months. Your calls had gone straight to voicemail. You had found out that he resigned from his job. And moved out of his apartment. He had vanished, just like that. Out of your life, without so much as a single word of goodbye.
You had been living with many regrets these past two years. You should have been faithful. You should have treated him better. You should have shown him how much he means to you. You should have explained to him that heâs the only one you love. You should have told him you didnât mean to hurt him. You were just worried that if you werenât wanted by other guys, he wouldnât want you either. You should have realised that you were being stupid, thinking stupid things and behaving even more so.
You should never have cheated on Junkyu. For quite a while you hadnât intended to. Except when you started work as a DJ at one of the hottest nightclubs around town, things tend to happen. Especially when thereâs a private function every other weekend, and leftover booze already paid for by the client gets shared among the staff. When you started working there, you managed to stay relatively sober at first. By the third private party, however, you had woken up the day after in somebody elseâs bed. You had been so plastered, you didnât even remember Jaehyuk taking your home.
â The Affair, Unintentional As It Was
Jaehyuk is hot, you had to admit that. And the youngster was really good at his job, which meant he could do those fancy things bartenders do just to show off, like flipping glasses in the air and juggling bottles, all while flirting with customers and fixing their drinks. Which meant he was a performer while being a bartender, and that only added to his hotness factor. He was also very much into you, which he had made clear from the first day you came to work. And although you had been very flattered at getting the attention of a younger man, you hadnât meant to take things any further, even after you two had slept together.
And then it had happened again.
You hadnât even been drunk. You had actually been stressing in your head for one whole day over what to get Junkyu for your upcoming anniversary and then, at work, some drunk had jumped up onto your DJ platform and managed to grope you before club security got to him. You had been shaken up by the incident and Jaehyuk had been so nice, giving you a drink to calm your nerves and offering to send you home after work. The two of you had talked during the drive and he had given you some good suggestions for Junkyuâs gift. When you arrived at your apartment, you had been the one to invite him up for a drink.
That time too, Junkyu had come to your house in the morning. He had seen Jaehyuk leaving and asked you about it, and you had lied. Although he looked at you somewhat suspiciously, he had believed you. You didnât think much about it, until he had opened his mouth later when you were having breakfast together.
âI wouldnât be surprised if you have something going on with that boy. I swear, those abs can really turn someoneâs head.â
Amazed that he had even noticed, you had asked, âand exactly when and where would you have seen his abs?â
âRemember when your nightclub had that new year staff party and I came early with you to help? I happened to come out of the bathroom stall when he was changing his t-shirt.â
You had jokingly asked whether you should start getting worried about losing him to a guy and the two of you had laughed over that. But he had got you worried.
You had worried about being caught cheating on Junkyu with Jaehyuk. That you would get caught was inevitable: you always got caught. But the things you had done had always been one-time stuff. With people you had just met, or people you barely knew or had once known. You had never before been involved with a colleague, or a friend. And Jaehyuk was both. And you had worried whether that would be too much for Junkyu when he finally found out.
You quit your DJ job not long after he left. You couldnât look at Jaehyuk and not be reminded that Junkyu was gone. Jaehyuk tried to make you stay, to forget Junkyu and be with him, but you stood by the decision you had made about your relationship that same day Junkyu last stood in your kitchen.
Late the night before, you had opened your door to the sound of the doorbell and an older man had stood there, struggling under Jaehyukâs weight. You had taken Jaehyuk off the taxi ahjusshi, thanked him and put the tipsy Jaehyuk to bed. Of course you had ended up sleeping together yet again. But you had woken up very early in the morning, with an uneasy sense of foreboding. You couldnât shake it off to go back to sleep, so you had gone into the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast.
You had sensed somebody watching you while you were pan-frying the second omelette. A shirtless Jaehyuk had been leaning against the kitchen counter watching you cook, all the while smiling that sweet smile of his. You had poured him a cup of coffee, and set down the omelette. In your head, you had been pondering how to broach the subject. When Jaehyuk had finished with his food and pushed his plate away to finish his coffee, you knew you couldnât stall the matter any longer.
âJaehyuk, I think we shouldnât do this anymore.â
He had looked up from his cup, dismay all over his adorable face. âWhat are you talking about, noona?â
âI know you like me, but I donât feel the same for you.â
âBut noona...â
You had grabbed his plate and taken it to the sink. Standing there busying yourself with the washing, you had pondered your words carefully to try to be gentle. âI really hope you wonât make this difficult, Jaehyuk. We can still talk at work as usual. Thereâs just some things you have to stop doing. Like, you canât just crash here whenever you feel like it. Like last night. And stop showing up at my door just because youâre âin the neighbourhoodâ. You donât even live near here. You need to stop doing these things.â
You had flinched a little when you felt Jaehyukâs arms snake around your waist. He had rested his cheek on your shoulder and whispered, âbut noona, I donât just like you. I love you.â
You had been struck speechless with the thought of causing him agony for that, but the feeling was fleeting. The moment to be gentle had passed. âThatâs really too bad Jaehyuk, âcause Iâve never been serious with you.â
Jaehyuk had stiffened at your words. âNo, noona, that canât be. You feel something for me, I know you do.â
âDonât kid yourself,â you scoffed. He had grabbed your shoulders and turned you around then, so that he could look you in the eyes, and that had been when you noticed the other person in the kitchen.
â________.â You become conscious that youâre staring into empty space. Itâs almost as if you had really heard his voice. You look at the counter you have been absently wiping and see a few droplets of water among the crumbs. You raise one hand to your cheek: you donât even realise you have been crying. You look back at the spot where Junkyu had stood two years ago, and more tears run down your cheeks. For two years you have held them away; two years of telling yourself he will be back, he always comes back. Two years of pretending nothing has gone wrong while your heart ached, burning with the emptiness of missing him. Two years of knowing you brought this on yourself and thereâs no one else to blame. You couldnât do this anymore. Just like two years ago, when Junkyu couldnât deal with you anymore. You break down on the kitchen floor, sobbing uncontrollably, the crumbs on the counter forgotten.
â The Lesson, Learnt The Hard Way
Junkyu knows he had gone away for a long time. He couldnât help but wonder: have you changed? Would you still remember him? Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but being out of sight might also result in being forgotten. He had been trying so hard to stay away, but it had been difficult, and the difficulty had not lessened with each day that passed.
Right now, he is home. Itâs true he had ended things, or put them on hold the way he saw it, but deep down in his heart nothing has really changed. You still own his heart, completely and utterly. Thereâs nothing in the world that can destroy that, not even all your infidelities, and no amount of time will ever erase that fact. He stands in front of your apartment, the first time in two years, and hopes that the scene inside will not be like the last time. He reaches for the spare key in his pocket--he hadnât returned it when he went away--and inserts the key in the lock.
You are sitting on the floor in the kitchen. Your eyes are dry now, you are silent. Your breathing is no longer wracked with sobs. You feel tired, like you havenât slept in days. You grab at the kitchen stool near you to pull yourself up to stand, and thatâs when you notice the other person in the kitchen.
You look at the man who is standing in the exact spot where Junkyu had stood two years ago. He seems so real. Youâre not going to convince yourself he is, though, not this time. Just your imagination gone wild, youâre used to that now. But you do notice that he doesnât look the same as how you always remember him. He looks⊠older somehow. He also looks lonely, well that hasnât changed. He looks sad, that hasnât changed either. No, despite these little differences you know heâs just a figment of your mind, brought up by your aching need to see him. You shake your head to vanquish the thought, and go to the sink to wash the rag you have been using to wipe the counter.
â_______.â
The voice startles you, you almost drop the rag. Itâs almost as if you had really heard it. You continue to rinse the cloth. A part of you is telling you that the voice is real, but you couldnât bring yourself to believe it. You have waited to hear that voice for two years. Youâve heard it so often in your mind, and you have always been disappointed. No, you tell yourself. No, itâs not real.
You flinch a little when you feel arms snake around your waist. A warm body against your back.
â_______, Iâm home.â Warm breath against your neck.
You drop the rag this time. You twist around to face him, still in his arms. That baby face and smooth jawline. Unblemished clear skin. The thick dark hair you love so much. You reach up to touch his face. Warm skin under your hand. He smiles, pulls your hand to his lips and kisses your palm. You have voided your eyes of tears just a short while ago, yet they flow freely again in the joy of this moment.
You throw your arms around Junkyuâs neck and cries for the second time that day. He has come home.
Junkyu hugs you tightly and kisses your hair. His hand rubs soothing circles on your back. He is home.
I've been trying to come to terms with this for days and thought I'd combust if I don't put it down in words. So here it is.
This is life. It can't always go the way I want.
I'm just a fan. They are each their own individual, and they all have their own lives and their own dreams, and their own situations and complications. I'm always just a fan, not privy to any of that, save for the things they choose to share.
As sad as it is for me, I'm sure it's way more devastating for them. But they've been through this before, all of them more than once: in Treasure Box, in Mix Nine, as Silver Boys. God knows how many trainees they've grown attached to and parted ways with. I've also been through this before as a fan: with 2NE1, with Winner, with BigBang and iKON.
They got through it and debuted successfully. I got through it and in the process, found them. So I think we'll be okay in the end.
For now, as long as they're all doing what they want, that it is their choice, then I wish them all the happiness, and I will be happy for them too. They deserve that.
synopsis: You were the bad girl. He was ever so faithful. What happens when heâs had enough?
snapshot: 99.9% angst, female reader, boyfriend Junkyu, colleague Jaehyuk, infidelity, drunk, one-night stand, is this a happy ending
sky says: Hereâs a story I wrote a looooooong time ago that I published on another platform, just to serve as a teaser of my writing prowess (>_<) my actual writing skills may have deteriorated though [I hope not!] Also, obviously I tweaked the original so that the story could fit Treasure⊠if you enjoy this please feel free to send a request! [hereâs why]
â The Fight, If It Was Even One
You wipe the counter, missing the sprinkling of crumbs right in front of you. Your eyes are looking straight at it without actually seeing it. Itâs the way you usually are these days, ever since the fight. The one that happened right in this very kitchen, if it could even be called a fight.
âWhy is he here?â he had asked.
âHe was drunk last night and gave my address to the taxi driver. It was nothing,â you had insisted. You had shrugged your shoulders and sipped from your coffee mug.
âItâs not nothing if he spent the night here!â he had hissed at you. How dare he.
âSo what if he spent the night? This wouldnât be the first time...â your voice had trailed off as you realised your blunder. You had bit your lip and glanced at him, wondering how heâd take that in.
He had stood there fuming. The muscles in his right cheek, the side that had been facing you, had twitched from the way he had gritted his teeth.
The person in question had appeared at the kitchen entrance then, only halfway done pulling his own shirt over his head, allowing the two people in the kitchen a glimpse of his well-toned abs.
âNoona, I think Iâll be going now. Thanks for...â he had shot a look at the man still standing motionless near the sink, then smirked to himself and continued mysteriously, â...last night.â
âWait... arenât you at least going to finish your coffee?â you had asked.
âThatâs okay, Iâve had some. Besides, Junkyu hyungâs here now. Iâll just be in the way.â
âWell, let me just walk you out.â
âReally, itâs fine noona. I can let myself out. See you at work?â
âOh alright. Yeah, see you.â
Junkyu had waited until he heard the faint sound of the front door click shut before he spoke.
â_______, I canât do this anymore. Last time I believed you. This time... I donât know. After what I saw, I just... I donât know.â
You had looked up then. Am I hearing things? Has he finally grown some balls? Have I really pushed it too far this time? You had cleared your throat and put on your best poker face. âYouâll forgive me. Just like you always do. This time wonât be any different.â
At your words, he had looked resigned. âAre you saying that what I thought happened last night, happened?â
âWhat do you think?â you had replied, a challenge clear in your voice.
âThen itâs over.â Just like that, he had left.
You waited two weeks for his call: it never came. He didnât text you to tell you that you were forgiven, like always. He didnât come by the bar where you worked. In fact, there was no word from him at all. You werenât worried, not at the time. You knew it would take him time. Another two weeks should do it. You werenât going to panic and call or look for him. Oh no, you werenât one to do that. Heâd be back soon enough. Meanwhile, there was plenty of other game. You had thought of Jaehyuk then, and felt kind of guilty towards both of them.
â The Past, When It All Started
You knew you werenât pretty, not what people would ordinarily call pretty anyway. Because of that, you made up for it with an aura of confidence that was irresistible to the people around you. You were no stranger to attention. In high school you hadnât fit in anywhere--partly because you didnât want to--but you always had a string of boys following you around, worshipping the ground you walked on. Hell, youâd even had a girl ask you out. And although girls really didnât pique your interest, the way youâre attracted to him might have just proven that wrong. His baby face and full pouty lips. That smooth jawline. Unblemished clear skin. You wouldâve thought he was a girl if it werenât for his school uniform. You did think he was a girl that first time you two met, until he stood up.
âWhat do you think youâre doing?â you had asked the person you noticed lurking behind the bushes.
âUm... watching you play?â Such a bold answer from someone whoâd been trying so hard not to be seen. It had totally taken you by surprise, which wasnât something easy to do.
âMe, why?â The person had shrunk even lower behind the shrubs at your question. You had waited for an answer but when none came, you had said, ânever mind if youâre not going to tell, keep on watching thenâ. And you had grabbed the ball you came for off the ground and flounced away.
âI like you!â
You had turned around, surprised once again. Twice in as many sentences. He had stood where you could see him, away from the bushes. You had liked what you saw straightaway.
You two had been together ever since.
Four years.
And you had never been faithful.
Maybe it was partly his fault. He kept on being so forgiving. Even when he had found you locking lips with Haruto, the dashing basketball team captain, behind the bleachers in the gym. Even when you had told him youâd be studying at the library, but his best friend Jihoon saw you making out in the art room with some guy. Even when you had broken off your date, countless times over the years, to go out with someone else. Even when he stopped by your workplace, just to keep you company on your breaks from DJing, and you had flirted with the good-looking younger bartender right in front of his eyes.
Always, he would just shrug his shoulders and say that you were just being yourself.
âI love you, because youâre you. You are your own person, and I wouldnât change that for the worldâ is what he would say every time you asked if he was angry at you for the things you did.
But that fateful morning he had come to your house to see if you wanted to go get breakfast together, let himself in with the spare key you yourself had given him, found you in the kitchen with that same bartender, who was shirtless and hugging you from the back, had that conversation with you, and something must have snapped in him. For the first time in four years, Junkyu went away.
And stayed away.
The two weeks that you had thought would be enough had turned into two years. You had feared for the worst when he still hadnât contacted you after two months. Your calls had gone straight to voicemail. You had found out that he resigned from his job. And moved out of his apartment. He had vanished, just like that. Out of your life, without so much as a single word of goodbye.
You had been living with many regrets these past two years. You should have been faithful. You should have treated him better. You should have shown him how much he means to you. You should have explained to him that heâs the only one you love. You should have told him you didnât mean to hurt him. You were just worried that if you werenât wanted by other guys, he wouldnât want you either. You should have realised that you were being stupid, thinking stupid things and behaving even more so.
You should never have cheated on Junkyu. For quite a while you hadnât intended to. Except when you started work as a DJ at one of the hottest nightclubs around town, things tend to happen. Especially when thereâs a private function every other weekend, and leftover booze already paid for by the client gets shared among the staff. When you started working there, you managed to stay relatively sober at first. By the third private party, however, you had woken up the day after in somebody elseâs bed. You had been so plastered, you didnât even remember Jaehyuk taking your home.
â The Affair, Unintentional As It Was
Jaehyuk is hot, you had to admit that. And the youngster was really good at his job, which meant he could do those fancy things bartenders do just to show off, like flipping glasses in the air and juggling bottles, all while flirting with customers and fixing their drinks. Which meant he was a performer while being a bartender, and that only added to his hotness factor. He was also very much into you, which he had made clear from the first day you came to work. And although you had been very flattered at getting the attention of a younger man, you hadnât meant to take things any further, even after you two had slept together.
And then it had happened again.
You hadnât even been drunk. You had actually been stressing in your head for one whole day over what to get Junkyu for your upcoming anniversary and then, at work, some drunk had jumped up onto your DJ platform and managed to grope you before club security got to him. You had been shaken up by the incident and Jaehyuk had been so nice, giving you a drink to calm your nerves and offering to send you home after work. The two of you had talked during the drive and he had given you some good suggestions for Junkyuâs gift. When you arrived at your apartment, you had been the one to invite him up for a drink.
That time too, Junkyu had come to your house in the morning. He had seen Jaehyuk leaving and asked you about it, and you had lied. Although he looked at you somewhat suspiciously, he had believed you. You didnât think much about it, until he had opened his mouth later when you were having breakfast together.
âI wouldnât be surprised if you have something going on with that boy. I swear, those abs can really turn someoneâs head.â
Amazed that he had even noticed, you had asked, âand exactly when and where would you have seen his abs?â
âRemember when your nightclub had that new year staff party and I came early with you to help? I happened to come out of the bathroom stall when he was changing his t-shirt.â
You had jokingly asked whether you should start getting worried about losing him to a guy and the two of you had laughed over that. But he had got you worried.
You had worried about being caught cheating on Junkyu with Jaehyuk. That you would get caught was inevitable: you always got caught. But the things you had done had always been one-time stuff. With people you had just met, or people you barely knew or had once known. You had never before been involved with a colleague, or a friend. And Jaehyuk was both. And you had worried whether that would be too much for Junkyu when he finally found out.
You quit your DJ job not long after he left. You couldnât look at Jaehyuk and not be reminded that Junkyu was gone. Jaehyuk tried to make you stay, to forget Junkyu and be with him, but you stood by the decision you had made about your relationship that same day Junkyu last stood in your kitchen.
Late the night before, you had opened your door to the sound of the doorbell and an older man had stood there, struggling under Jaehyukâs weight. You had taken Jaehyuk off the taxi ahjusshi, thanked him and put the tipsy Jaehyuk to bed. Of course you had ended up sleeping together yet again. But you had woken up very early in the morning, with an uneasy sense of foreboding. You couldnât shake it off to go back to sleep, so you had gone into the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast.
You had sensed somebody watching you while you were pan-frying the second omelette. A shirtless Jaehyuk had been leaning against the kitchen counter watching you cook, all the while smiling that sweet smile of his. You had poured him a cup of coffee, and set down the omelette. In your head, you had been pondering how to broach the subject. When Jaehyuk had finished with his food and pushed his plate away to finish his coffee, you knew you couldnât stall the matter any longer.
âJaehyuk, I think we shouldnât do this anymore.â
He had looked up from his cup, dismay all over his adorable face. âWhat are you talking about, noona?â
âI know you like me, but I donât feel the same for you.â
âBut noona...â
You had grabbed his plate and taken it to the sink. Standing there busying yourself with the washing, you had pondered your words carefully to try to be gentle. âI really hope you wonât make this difficult, Jaehyuk. We can still talk at work as usual. Thereâs just some things you have to stop doing. Like, you canât just crash here whenever you feel like it. Like last night. And stop showing up at my door just because youâre âin the neighbourhoodâ. You donât even live near here. You need to stop doing these things.â
You had flinched a little when you felt Jaehyukâs arms snake around your waist. He had rested his cheek on your shoulder and whispered, âbut noona, I donât just like you. I love you.â
You had been struck speechless with the thought of causing him agony for that, but the feeling was fleeting. The moment to be gentle had passed. âThatâs really too bad Jaehyuk, âcause Iâve never been serious with you.â
Jaehyuk had stiffened at your words. âNo, noona, that canât be. You feel something for me, I know you do.â
âDonât kid yourself,â you scoffed. He had grabbed your shoulders and turned you around then, so that he could look you in the eyes, and that had been when you noticed the other person in the kitchen.
â________.â You become conscious that youâre staring into empty space. Itâs almost as if you had really heard his voice. You look at the counter you have been absently wiping and see a few droplets of water among the crumbs. You raise one hand to your cheek: you donât even realise you have been crying. You look back at the spot where Junkyu had stood two years ago, and more tears run down your cheeks. For two years you have held them away; two years of telling yourself he will be back, he always comes back. Two years of pretending nothing has gone wrong while your heart ached, burning with the emptiness of missing him. Two years of knowing you brought this on yourself and thereâs no one else to blame. You couldnât do this anymore. Just like two years ago, when Junkyu couldnât deal with you anymore. You break down on the kitchen floor, sobbing uncontrollably, the crumbs on the counter forgotten.
â The Lesson, Learnt The Hard Way
Junkyu knows he had gone away for a long time. He couldnât help but wonder: have you changed? Would you still remember him? Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but being out of sight might also result in being forgotten. He had been trying so hard to stay away, but it had been difficult, and the difficulty had not lessened with each day that passed.
Right now, he is home. Itâs true he had ended things, or put them on hold the way he saw it, but deep down in his heart nothing has really changed. You still own his heart, completely and utterly. Thereâs nothing in the world that can destroy that, not even all your infidelities, and no amount of time will ever erase that fact. He stands in front of your apartment, the first time in two years, and hopes that the scene inside will not be like the last time. He reaches for the spare key in his pocket--he hadnât returned it when he went away--and inserts the key in the lock.
You are sitting on the floor in the kitchen. Your eyes are dry now, you are silent. Your breathing is no longer wracked with sobs. You feel tired, like you havenât slept in days. You grab at the kitchen stool near you to pull yourself up to stand, and thatâs when you notice the other person in the kitchen.
You look at the man who is standing in the exact spot where Junkyu had stood two years ago. He seems so real. Youâre not going to convince yourself he is, though, not this time. Just your imagination gone wild, youâre used to that now. But you do notice that he doesnât look the same as how you always remember him. He looks⊠older somehow. He also looks lonely, well that hasnât changed. He looks sad, that hasnât changed either. No, despite these little differences you know heâs just a figment of your mind, brought up by your aching need to see him. You shake your head to vanquish the thought, and go to the sink to wash the rag you have been using to wipe the counter.
â_______.â
The voice startles you, you almost drop the rag. Itâs almost as if you had really heard it. You continue to rinse the cloth. A part of you is telling you that the voice is real, but you couldnât bring yourself to believe it. You have waited to hear that voice for two years. Youâve heard it so often in your mind, and you have always been disappointed. No, you tell yourself. No, itâs not real.
You flinch a little when you feel arms snake around your waist. A warm body against your back.
â_______, Iâm home.â Warm breath against your neck.
You drop the rag this time. You twist around to face him, still in his arms. That baby face and smooth jawline. Unblemished clear skin. The thick dark hair you love so much. You reach up to touch his face. Warm skin under your hand. He smiles, pulls your hand to his lips and kisses your palm. You have voided your eyes of tears just a short while ago, yet they flow freely again in the joy of this moment.
You throw your arms around Junkyuâs neck and cries for the second time that day. He has come home.
Junkyu hugs you tightly and kisses your hair. His hand rubs soothing circles on your back. He is home.
