I never actually use this account too much anymore. However I feel I need a safe public space for me to rant and talk about my issues anonymously. I’m coming to terms with the fact my long time friend is replacing me with someone who absolutely hates me. It’s been extremely painful. Especially since their friendship was so odd to begin with. my best friend would constantly tell me they were only friends with this person because they “felt bad for her”. Even their S/O had told me they didn’t really like them. But i’d see posts of them calling this person their soulmate or their best friend. This was so confusing and conflicting to me. especially since my friend told me this person was “forcing” them to post these types of things. They have even called this person a bitch before. However i’m getting fed up. i’m getting tired. i’m tired of being the person initiating every conversation. I’m tired of putting all this energy into someone who hasn’t showed me they genuinely cared in months. I’ve lately been in a situation where i’ve had to be around this person for a short period of time every day. This person who i feel they’re replacing me with hates me. They’ve talked shit about me, and tried to convince my best friend that I wasn’t a good person. There was so much drama that happened for so long. But i’m finally done. I’m tired. And i don’t think I deserve to feel this way. A best friend should make you feel loved. appreciated. someone who makes you laugh. someone you’re excited to be around. Not someone who you stay up late at night crying about. Not someone who gives you panic attacks because you feel you aren’t good enough, or that they might hate you. This is incredibly painful for me. and i’m not sure what to do anymore. I just need someone. i feel so so so alone.
