Essay on why Fyodor would 100% have a piss kink, go 😍
why fyodor dostoyevsky has a piss kink
(square up bitch, i did it 🥱🥱🥱) piss kinks are often shunned by society; in a way, isn't fyodor shunned by society as well? they compliment and deserve each other, two halves of one, coexisting and inseparable entities that constantly intertwine with one another until it is impossible to think of one without the other, much like Ivan Ivanovich and Ivan Nikiforovich, but without the gay fallout.
despite all the explicit proofs that he indeed has a piss kink, bungou stray dogs fans often treat this canon fact as satire, when in fact there is canon evidence proving that he has a piss kink. First, I call to your attention this particular scene in BSD Season 3:
as you may notice, fyodor runs like a man with absolutely no technique. with his skinny legs holding up his nonexistent ass, it's quite impossible to lean your weight forwards in this manner while having stick legs without destabilizing his center of mass and tumbling forwards. to add onto this, he swings his arms backwards, much like naruto characters. however, it is important to note that naruto characters do not have anemia and would not collapse if they stood up too quickly. given his constitution, it is only logical to assume that this method of running is not only greatly embarrassing, but dangerous, for he could at any moment fall and great all his fragile bones since he is literally a walking skeleton. his tailbone is especially in peril because of the lack of gluteus maximus.
another thing that can be remarked is the manner with which he runs; please note that this is the only scene in which fyodor runs, whereas in all of his other appearances - regardless of whether his life were in peril or not - he had a very calm aura.
many mistake the reason for this chaotic fleeing to be the fact that he had just stabbed the boss of the port mafia.
wrong.
it's because he feels the overwhelming need to piss himself.
take a closer look at fyodor's pants as he's running:
that's right, folks
he was having a pissgasm
a pissgasm, characterized by uncontrollable urine and loss of rationality, is when an individual experiences extreme pleasure due to external factors, such as stabbing people, and consequently releases their piss in a way that greatly resembles and parallels an orgasm.
fyodor was not running away from mori; he was running away from the crowd in order to experience his pissgasm to the fullest in peace.
many bystanders were recording the incident, which may have both disturbed and turned on the terrorist even further.
due to the uncontrollable nature of pissgasms, fyodor is unable to think rationally and run in a non-threatening manner to himself. on top of this, he gets very close to many bystanders, many of whom possibly grazed him and therefore touched the untouchable man and survived. fyodor, however, was too engrossed in his pissgasm to realize this and did not commit murder as he typically would've. instead, he rushed to safety in order to let out all the piss juices he'd been storing in one rush of indescribable waterfall of emotions.
in this particular scene, as well, the way he manspreads is extremely noticeable. the reason for this is simple: he needs to prevent himself from thinking about piss, given that he is tied up and thus unable to react except growl, bark and make aggressive uwu noises in order to express his growing need glowing in his pants, aka the pool of piss he needs to deal with immediately.
this ties back to my initial thoughts as to what fyodor's ability might be:
Crime and Punishment allows him to force those he makes contact with to bear the burden of their sins.
fyodor uses the sin of not being a piss kinker to give them the retribution they deserve, thereby pumping the piss stored in their bladder throughout their body and overwhelming their system, resulting in their limbs overflowing with urine and exploding.
which is why, I believe, he and dazai have such a strong bond; both have piss kinks. regardless of whether dazai's ability nullifies fyodor's or not, he is safe from any possible attack since he, too, has an uncontrollable piss kink. (which he tries to deal with by drowning himself. many bsd fans do not realize this, but the reason that dazai tries to drown himself multiple times is not because he desires death, but because he desires death by piss. he envisions the river to be a flowing stream of delicious, mouth-watering, yummy, viscous, yellow-tinted mouth candy, and thus knows that this illusion is the only way for him to die happily).
fyodor believes that all humans are predictable, which is why he finds life extremely dull and sees non-piss kink havers as beneath him. thus, he can be seen on several occasions drinking liquids in order to fill up his bladder and increase the chances of pissing himself while in action, which brings him immense pleasure and thrill.
at the end of season 3, he can be observed ordering a drink at the café:
pay particular attention to the way he is looking at that drink he had just been served; with borderline lovingly eyes.
he knows that this is going to come out, after a while, as victorious and celebratory piss.
for a man who has murdered many and himself is often portrayed as being stoic, this is extremely unusual to display such outward affection, which strengthens the argument that he canonically has a piss kink. if this had just been regular tea, he wouldn't have that caring look in his eyes.
not to mention that the two characters most often shipped with fyodor - dazai and nikolai - are loud and proud piss kinkers.
In the manga, fyodor was also subject to being locked in a transparent cell, which means that he will not be getting any privacy, nor will dazai. the two ride off of each others' piss kinks and get a boost of serotonin upon seeing the product of their deliverance of the sacred gushing liquids of the soul.
if this doesn't serve as irrefutable proof that fyodor has a piss kink, you're piss-phobic.
stop erasing fyodor's piss kink from his character 🤬🤬🤬 it's a vital component of his personality and needs to be accepted immediately if we wish to be able to comprehend him further.
