Peanut butter

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

((Still not doing much here while I prepare my book for publication bUT I GASPED OUT LOUD THE BOI.))

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

project-rowe‌:

“He is!” Freya said with a giggle.

“Hey you shouldn’t talk about your boss like that.” He turned to Freya. “And you shouldn’t talk about your dad like that.”

“But mommy does it all the time!”

“That’s because mommy’s a pain. Even if I do love her to death.”

“Hmm?” She tilted her head again.  “You know, I haven’t met her yet!  She hasn’t come into the restaurant.” And Peanut Butter just sort of stayed there, rather than going home with Cyrus at the end of the day.

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

project-rowe‌:

“Um.. in the car? You know.. the one we used to drive her with. We can put them right next to Freya’s carseat, ain’t that right, sweetie?” He said as he stroked Freya’s hair, who was sitting in the shopping cart. Then he paused. “I think Miyuki is rubbing off on me too much.”

“Um, I guess, it just seems like a lot of potentially broken eggs to just sit there.” She tilted her head at the huge box, before turning to Freya and smiling.  “Your dad is kind of weird about cooking, huh?”

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

project-rowe replied to your post: “How many eggs do I need? Fuck it. I’ll just buy...

“Peanut Butter, please. Have I ever steered you wrong before? Well it was true he did go through a lot of eggs, seeing as omurice was incredibly popular. "It actually wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

“Um, well.” Her situation sort of prevented her from actually telling the truth.  “But how are we going to get all this home?”

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

“How many eggs do I need? Fuck it. I’ll just buy all of them.” (Cyrus)

“...I’m pretty sure a gross is 144.  Do you really need that many?”

[rpstarterss]

Random Starters:

“I’m wearing heels and a beret at 8 am and nobody seems to care.”

“Vegans aren’t allowed in Texas.”

“If I flip a coin and it’s heads, I’ll go through with it, but if it’s tails, I’ll still go through with it because I’m awesome.”

“Spoiler alert: Jesus wins.”

“Someone told me a knock knock joke and I cried for four hours straight.”

“I could put flowers inside it, or like, drop my Legos inside it.”

“Would you take out the trash, bae?”

“Your rabbit is so evil. I swear it’s out to get me.”

“I feel like I’m dipping my hand in poop.”

“I’m a little worried this is going to stain my skin, but you know, it’s Friday, so let’s party.”

“I’m nocturnal. Kinda like a bat.”

“The scariest possible thing that could be sent to you there is, ‘hey, girl/man, send me some nudes.’”

“Last night, it was too windy for my booty-call to make it over.”

“If you have $300 and a lot of friends, then you can get barely tipsy in a bathtub.”

“I’m gonna ship your ass out of here. I can’t stand you anymore.”

“What the fuck. Get your crusty ass off those veggies.”

“Can you stop taking selfies every 3 steps? It’s annoying.”

“I think you’re butt-chugging on accident.”

“I complimented you. Now you have to have sex with me.”

“PSA: not everyone wants to get in your pants.”

“I’m kind of hip.. I mean, I watch music videos.”

“Oh, shit! .. I mean oh, shoot.”

“I taste like I need some sleep.” 

“It looks very evil even though it’s ice cream colored.”

“I have a bad case of the manboobs.”

“Hands up or I’ll kill you right in the face!”

“If I weren’t wearing pants right now, it’d just be like: right butt-cheek alert.”

“You know what? This is my best friend now and I’m taking him/her home.”

“I’m really good at lying, so I think I’ll do great.”

“Are you calling me out?”

“I feel very dirty that I was not able to express my emotions.”

“Why did you bring children?” 

“It smells like feet.” 

“I’m a fucking excellent cuddler. I’m a god damn pro.” 

“Is this poison?” 

“I don’t wake up in the morning and go ‘you know what I wanna do? I wanna eat a tarantula today’.”

“This is not something you’re supposed to eat.”

“I slapped a stranger in the face because s/he didn’t wish me happy birthday.”

“They sell babies at the hospitals sometimes.”

“I think I would be a very successful, but highly inappropriate elementary school teacher.” 

“S/He’s like a man and s/he looks like s/he’s pooping.”

“Aww, I’m gonna hang it up on the fridge for a week until you forget about it.”

“Why do you have these rules in place? Let us be free.”

“You should burn this.”

“How many eggs do I need? Fuck it. I’ll just buy all of them.” 

“I’ve got blue balls of the heart.” 

“I don’t like babies, but I do like parties.” 

“Oh, sorry I don’t do drugs.” 

“[NAME] wants to make me smile. Good fuckin’ luck.” 

“I smiled once and I hated it.” 

“You know, white bread’s a lot like me: plain, not super healthy, but generally likable.”

“It feels like I’m massaging a really squishy butt.” 

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

((Still have yet to  summon Strawberry Daifuku or Raindrop Cake but I got this trash man so it’sa good event so far.))

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

prcttyinpinklcmonadc‌:

So he told her she could come here. With Pink it was always so begrudging that he let her out of his sight. Walking with the other slowly, her gaze seemed all but dead, though whenever the other would look at her she’d force a smile. “I’m not quite sure…I do enjoy the cold though, perhaps that’s just me…”

“Oh there’s nothing wrong with that but you know, I got to go to the beach once a long time ago and just the sun and the sand was great!  I wish we had more like that here.”

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

((Got the trash vampire man.))

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

villainyisntmystyle‌:

Caleb tilted his head at that one. “Master Attendant? Who’s that supposed to be?”

“Hmm?” She pointed to Cyrus.  “Him!  Food Souls aren’t allowed to roam free without a contract, so he agreed to take me in even though he wasn’t the one who summoned me!”

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

villainyisntmystyle‌:

“Ah yes, now that you mention it, I do definitely remember that.” Caleb said with a sigh. “Well, she ended up enjoying the cake, at least.”

Peanut Butter nodded.  “That’s good!  Maybe Master Attendant can make something even better for her next time!”

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

villainyisntmystyle‌:

“Uh huh..” He just kinda stared at her for a bit before finally piping up again. “I’m Caleb. But I can imagine you already knew that by now.”

“You’ve seen him before, Peanut Butter. He comes in here a lot to buy cakes for someone.”

“Oh!” She quickly nodded.  “I remember!  He asked me which one my favorite was, and I told him I don’t really eat.”

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

villainyisntmystyle‌:

Cyrus shrugged. “He doesn’t go with the flow as easily as I do.”

“Well, you’ll have to forgive me, but in my experience, going with the flow usually meant people get experimented on and turning into monster. So no, I try not to do that as much anymore.”

Peanut Butter smiled brightly.  “Well I definitely won’t do that!  Because that’d be weird.” She quickly turned to face him, since she’d been distracted by the baseball game.  “I’m Peanut Butter!”

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

villainyisntmystyle‌:

“I guess-.. wait, what?”

“Ah, long story. Just trust her on this one.”

“O..kay then. I guess that’s fine.”

Peanut Butter pouted.  “Food Souls are better known where I came from.  Is it really that complicated?”

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

villainyisntmystyle‌:

“Yeah, I guess you aren’t too far off there.” Cyrus said

“And everyone wonders why I don’t like dealing with people.”

“Well then, you can deal with me!  I’m not a people!” Peanut Butter that isn’t correct grammar.

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

villainyisntmystyle‌:

“Have you never heard that before?” Cyrus asked, “It’s when you have a girl who you like romantically and you enter a relationship that is more than just friends. Caleb has romantic feelings for this girl-”

“I do not!”

“But he won’t admit it outright. He’s what we call a tsundere.”

“I am not a tsundere dammit!”

She just looked between them as they talked, looking more and more confused.

“...humans are very strange.”

[peanutbuttersbaseballbat-blog]

villainyisntmystyle‌:

“Well I’m sure he can make time for that. Even if he is busy with work and his girlfriend.”

“Speaking of girlfriends.. how are things with that one girl, Caleb?” Cyrus was just teasing him.

“S-She is not my girlfriend!”

Peanut Butter tilted her head at that.  “Girlfriend?” she asked.