(PRO ENDO, ANTI-RQ) it/its | programmed multi-origins DID polyplex | 1000+ headmates & fragments total across several sidesystems | main is polyporpoising
🌊 > hello, this is our plural blog. collectively, we will respond to the names Morgan or Polaris. our main blog is @polyporpoising, where we talk about being a cetacean
🌊 > we are a polyplex; currently, four sidesystems (with a combined number of ~1000 known podmates & fragments) are active, with two sparsystems of the largest sidesystem most consistently holding front on a seasonal basis
🌊 > we have programmed DID and will talk about it (not in detail) and our progress sometimes, as multiple of the active sidesystems are directly derived from it. we're also multi-origins (spiritual, aporine, and also two tulpas lol) and have adoptives; ie, headmates originally from other systems that got here via systemhopping.
(notable headmates, block-on-sight list, and tags below)
we are okay with answering questions on how programming affects us and our experiences trying to heal/manage OEA trauma on a case-by-case basis. we will not tell you if we think your experiences "count". please do not ask.
Notable podmates from...
🐬 The Old Guard > Carmen (commandant), Cordon (co-commandant), Summer (active co-host), Drowned!Halt, Watcher!Grian, Oakley (passive co-host)
❄️ Permafrost sparsystem > Smoke (host), Brown Fox (gatekeeper), Kinger (secondary gatekeeper)
🐬 The Ways Between - Clocktower (yes, the structure is also a headmate), Amora, Will, Bile (semi-factive/internal handler)
🐬 Softspace > Anti, Neocaridina, Feldspar
🐬 Dreadwood > King of Beasts (KOB), Knight Commander / General (KCG), The Witch / Mother (TWM), Bentley, Scooter
🐬 Other > Jasper / Jazz / Azzy, Snout / Kelsey / Kels (Oakley's tulpas); The Dogs (small OEA sidesystem)
🫧 Other info > We're intersex and physically disabled, and we have NPD, AsPD, and SZPD. We're also dyslexic and mildly hard of hearing, and occasionally experience psychotic episodes.
🫧 We block on sight > Anti-endos (including anti-spiritual & anti-created plurality); exclusionists; disbelief in OEA survivors; fakeclaimers (including reality checkers); pro-harassment &/or censorship; those who equate fictional tastes to real life morals; disbelief in systemhopping/system travel or believe it's inherently abusive; believe you can "transition to intersex"
We reserve the right to block for other unlisted reasons without warning
Tag list
#dolphin whistles - original posts
#pk;m [name] - podmate tags (eg, #pk;m Oakley, #pk;m KOB)
#no author - original posts without a specific author
#reblog - reblogs
#asks - asks!
#unknown tone - asks where we can't tell if it's hate or not
#hatemail - unambiguously hateful or negative asks
#ask games - ask games! both the original game post and asks from it
#tw [thing] - tw tag
#intro post - this post!
#blog upkeep - blog upkeep
Leland continues to be an enigma (showed up purely to comfort me when he hasn't been around front in forever because he's Oakley's partner and used to be its caretaker until Oakley got adopted by Carmen, so all of his communication is away from front and with Oakley. UNTIL NOW I GUESS)
the unfortunate thing is that, knowing that all of our intrusive thoughts of "wouldn't it be better/easier to be anti-endo?" came from a sidesystem made up purely of anti-endo headmates (+ two littles who spawned there and just got caught in the nonsense), there IS a possibility that other intrusive thoughts we get are coming from another theoretical sidesystem that is theoretically made up solely of conservative and transphobic headmates of all sorts. and the longer we consider it, the more likely it seems.
the problem with having a high propensity for receiving new headmates is that our brain will see literally anything and go "ooh! new way to cope with The Terrible Shit! time to turn that into a person!" and the "new way to cope" is "hey what if we became a detransitioner TERF and became a massive grifter and got a load of money from that?" meaning the new person is "we're not trans, trans people are all either confused or predators, we were Tricked by the Woke Left"
of course the moment we decide to purposefully allow a portal to open between here and [other world] is the moment the body's father decides to blast his own music at way too high volume with 0 consideration for the other people in the house or the fact that it's straight up midnight. <_<
of course the moment we decide to purposefully allow a portal to open between here and [other world] is the moment the body's father decides to blast his own music at way too high volume with 0 consideration for the other people in the house or the fact that it's straight up midnight. <_<
one of the worse parts of being autistic and plural is getting overstimulated by your own headmates. including from stuff happening in headspace.
someone--don't know who--was stimming by squealing in headspace pretty much non-stop. all well and good, except we are very easily overstimulated by sound, especially very loud, high-pitched sound. and because they were almost certainly one of the younger and/or more cognitively impaired members (ie, being a "symptom holder" for our cognitive symptoms), i didn't just want to tell whoever it was to knock it off, especially without a replacement stim. and if it's who i suspected (i think it might have been Oakley), i wouldn't have even been able to ask it to stop so easily anyways, since it lives in and fronts from Carmen's home, and i'm pretty sure Carmen wouldn't appreciate me just barging in without warning
You can be a trauma-formed system and also attribute your system to metaphysical causes. Being trauma-formed doesn't mean a system can only ever be psychologically-based; endogenic systems aren't the only ones that can be metaphysical systems, too.
It's okay to also feel like your system is a mix of the two! Or not know for sure, or care at all.
Metaphysical explanations for systems are no weirder than anything else. And ultimately, it doesn't matter if a system feels like they arrived from another time or world or that their memories/headspace/etc happened (or are currently happening) somewhere out there.
Even if you don't think it's possible, keeping your opinion to yourself is Free.99! What's true for you might not be some universal ultimate unchanging fact!
We genuinely don't give a fuck about origin labels anymore and think that overall they're useless, but we put them out there for people to use if it helps them anyways-- and they're not meant to be super duper exclusive or imply other things. IE, endogenic doesn't mean not having trauma or not having a CDD, traumagenic doesn't mean having a CDD, it doesn't mean metaphysical/psychological, etc, it just means in general your system probably formed because of this or that WITH the acknowledgment that it's all very who-knows-who-cares.
Signed,
A trauma-formed system that also identifies as having been plural from birth AND metaphysical in basis, people who have a problem with spiritually-leaning systems (especially non-traumagenic ones) can bite our entire ass lmao.
it's really cool to be plural bc i got to make a joke while Smoke was watching a horror movie with the body's mother (Amora had to help it hide for like 80% of it bc we struggle with a lot of the body horror in the way it's presented, we don't usually gaf about gore or anything but these movies somehow manage to get to us) and Smoke went "you know you're the funniest person in the world" and i said "yeah i know". man it's cool to not be living alone with Amora anymore. and now we're eating fries and drinking rootbeer
Like, I keep thinking they all exist in the headspace and its just like a seperate are they hang out in mainly, but I also keep thinking that a subsystem is a system inside a headmate/alter.
Also, are sidesystem and sisasystem interchangeable like how headmate/part/alter is or are they different things? I know I could look it up, but id rather ask here and get answers from systems/plurals that have sub/side/sisasystems cuz i am honestly curious and want to hear it from people who actually have them instead of Google or whatever.
sisasystem is the umbrella term for all formalized groups within a system, so it includes sidesystems and subsystems, along with many other things (such as hemisystems, which we'll explain later).
some folks use subsystem and sidesystem interchangeably, to mean a second (or more) system within the same body. others use subsystem sort of as you describe, being a headmate with their own headmates; that's how we use subsystem (since we need the solid distinction between side vs sub for structure reasons, since we have loads of both). for example, the Coin Subsystem is made up of Carmen and Caiman, who are "two sides of the same coin" (hence the name). it's also possible for a headmate to have multiple subsystems (eg, Oakley had one subsystem that was itself and an older version of it, and a second subsystem comprised of various fragments holding emotions, attitudes, or personalities ("Wrath Oakley", "Snark Oakley", "Young Oakley", etc), or for subsystems to exist within subsystems (sometimes called a nested subsystem). our subsystems all share one body internally; so, Carmen and Caiman share one internal body, and Oakley and both of its two subsystems all share the same internal body.
we have loads of sidesystems, but we also have two hemisystems (structures larger than sidesystems that our sidesystems reside in) (which we call the left hemisystem and right hemisystem for Reasons), and one structure between the hemisystems that is both a place for some to live and a gateway between the hemisystems, and between the sidesystems, and acts as fast travel within those sidesystems' headspaces (that's mostly just important for our gateway, Yhine, which is an entire planet. hashtag metaphysical & spiritual plurality attaching us to just a whole other previously inhabited world for no apparent obvious reason). the Clocktower (the structure in question) is also its own headmate but that's a whole other story.
(also, some people will lie and say that sidesystems can only exist in polyfragmented systems, or even only in systems that went through OEA/RAMCOA, or at least say that the term sidesystem is exclusive to the structures that exist within said systems. as a polyfragmented RAMCOA system, lol and lmao, that is not true and never has been. thought i'd mention just in case you end up with someone trying to tell you as such)
something we miss about having a partner system who also had a large headcount as a collective with a large headcount was that. there was, in fact, someone who could know all of us--or at least, a large majority of us. most of us had partners or friends on their side. with help from sys hopping, some of them had kids together, and some of our psys' headmates ended up moving here pretty much permanently.
we have over a thousand of us in here that we know of. likely many more than that (cough cough, the dungeons in the clock tower...). but when we had a psys who was similar in known size, each of us could be individuals, and each of them could be individuals, and we could know each other as headmates rather than just blurring into "one" person. we wouldn't be able to have that with a singlet, and we aren't sure that we could even with smaller systems, just because of how many of us there are.
a hastily made comic because I’ve been Having A Time. mostly for people who already know what systems are/what polyfragmented means (cuz I didn’t explain it) but feel free to show anyone who you think needs it
I can’t believe some systems have less than 100 headmates like how does that work?? How do you guys live like that what???? I think I’d die if I had even less than 200 headmates thats fucking crazy how do you handle that?? And less than 50 is even crazier. Omg your headcount is 4?? What?? I have NO idea how you guys can work like that it’s wiiiillddd youre wild and crazy and an enigma to me I need to study you and ask how you can even function it’s so weird you’re weird. I’m gonna treat youas my study subject because you’re weird.
