Falcata

[penanceisthecure]

Falcata’s bio can be found here: https://penanceisthecure.tumblr.com/bio

Mun is Fox (Foxtastic/F0xtastic), 28 years old, here’s my ooc page. 

[sodoffyabuggers]

He followed Fal's gaze for a second but didn't see anything out of the ordinary about the dead plants on the ground. Everything out here was basically dead till spring; the city didn't have a lot of evergreens.

That wasn't the only thing about to be dead though, apparently. What the hell? His brows lifted at their answer, leaning back a little as he glanced around, before focusing big eyes back on Falcata again.

"Well shit!" No, whoever had contracted them probably wouldn't care if they were sick.

Got over the shock pretty quickly though, and then he was scooting a little closer and fishing his cigarettes out of his pocket. Tapped the top of the pack against the palm of his hand. No care or thought to how he might be blowing Fal's cover or getting in their way; if and when the target came along, Fal would look less conspicuous standing NEXT to someone rather than out there on the street alone.

"Somehow I figured ya liked to slay with fashion rather than weapons. Did th' guy do anythin'? 'Er is that above yer paygrade to know?"

[penanceisthecure]

"I don't think that'll do it." In response to well, shit. They hated the joke the moment it left their mouth, but whatever, too late.

Falcata gave those cigarettes a look, and then Worth, before rolling their eyes.

"He made eye contact with an Enderman."

Ew, they're doing nerd jokes. Been talking to Taika too much. Been playing Minecraft with Taika too much. That would have been such a great line though if Minecraft weren't nerd shit. You get it, right? Like looking at a mob boss the wrong way? Pissed off the wrong guy? You get it.

"...I'm good at making people disappear." Much as they'd like to be known for fashion instead.

"...Can you keep a secret?" Falcata put a hand on Worth's back, and pulled him along to start walking with them. "You want to watch?"

Fuck it, they've never shared this with anyone. Definitely shouldn't have said anything, but they hardly care today. Not at all invested in their own career.

[sodoffyabuggers]

Oh? Oh! Here we go, rift travel wasn't safe when they wereeee...???

Worth lifted his other hand expectantly when Fal failed to finish that sentence, tiny little smirk on his face. They were fucking SICK no matter how much they tried to stoically stifle their sniffles, and they should be in that big old hippie commune of Devang's house, laying on one of the 101 acceptable places to take a NAP.

He crossed his arms when his hand was swatted away, tail curling at the tip behind him and smirk stretching into a wider grin. Smack him all you want, it never bothered him much.

"Right, okay, I got it. You been hot since I met ya. Yer hot all th' time, even while wearin' TWO scarves."

He couldn't possibly be teasing this sick and suffering man, could he? No, of course not, they were talking about temperatures.

"Wut kinda job issit? Think they'd take a sick note? 'Please excuse Falcata. They've come down with th' plague?'"

[penanceisthecure]

SHUT UP. SHUT UP SHUT UP. THEY'RE FINE.

Fal glared at Worth, then looked away, checking out some nearby...bushes. Naked, sad, winter bushes.

Actually, those might be weeds.

Dead weeds.

"...Especially while wearing two scarves. That's what scarves are for." Making you hotter, fashion AND heat-wise. Except these scarves weren't very fashionable. Ugh.

"I gotta kill a guy." They finally met his eye again. Do you think they'll take a sick note for that?

"...In Minecraft." You know, in case the FBI are listening.

[sodoffyabuggers]

OOoh, he hadn't known they had RIFT OPENING powers! Or had known and forgotten. Either way it was interesting, and he could see it all happen over that sick and disgruntled shoulder whether Falcata turned away or not.

"Nice space hole ya got there. Ya should prolly shove yerself through one an' back into yer bed, yanno."

They were obviously sick, and Worth wondered what the hell they were doing out when it was below freezing.

The tail lashing earned a smirk and a raised eyebrow (he always appreciated a nice big lizard tail) but otherwise he kept his cool about it. Did Fal think a nasty side-eye and a little whipping was gonna make him go away? They obviously didn't know him very well yet. He shuffled around into THEIR personal space in return, getting back in front of them and pressing the back of his hand to their forehead. Did they have a fever?

Could he even tell, with Falcata's different biology?

He was still going to try.

"Seriously, I don't think lizards are made for th' cold."

[penanceisthecure]

He didn't know that? That's like, Fal's Whole Thing. Well. That and having the coolest fucking scales ever. And being fashionable. And built.

Actually, no, Fal has a lot of stuff going on, and the rift thing is just one of them, which makes it less shameful for them to admit, "Rift travel isn't safe when I'm...." Well, they were GOING to not admit to being sick, but they just said nearly the whole sentence. They huffed, irritated, and swatted away his hand. "I'm always hot, genius."

Cuz you know, being hot, THAT'S their whole thing, actually. Yeah.

They didn't feel so hot, though. Eugh.

Fal cleared their throat for a moment, stifling a cough. "...I'm half demon. The depths of Hell are cold." Apparently. They've heard. Never been that far. "I'll go home after my job."

[penanceisthecure]

@sodoffyabuggers

Those tissues looked like they could have been already-used, the way they were wadded up. Falcata fixed Worth with a watery-eyed glare, sniffled, and turned away to slice a rift open midair with gold-tipped claws. The reached through and pulled out a fresh box of tissues, then waved away the rift.

They also turned their back on him to make use of the tissues, tucking the box under their armpit.

Only to glare at the box afterward, because it was a pain in the ass that they were holding it now. Truly an injustice of the highest order.

Falcata’s big lizard tail gave an irritated lash, whipping at Worth’s feet. Spacial awareness? What’s that?

[penanceisthecure]

Surely two scarves will be enough. They have carefully, perfectly wound them around their neck, up high over their mouth, their curls hidden away in a hat in a purely protective and not at all stylish fashion. Nothing about their current attire made them feel fashionable. The best they could hope for was to look…alive. WARM. And not like an actual snot-nosed pile of miserable trash.

They breathed oh so carefully through the layers and layers of scarf, and then quickly pulled the fabric down so they could breathe something FRESH. Only to immediately bury their face in the scarf and their hands, stifling the cough brought on by the tickle of ice-cold air in their lungs.

MISERABLE. TRASH.

[penanceisthecure]

Bandwagon!

Fal was difficult to nail on this one despite the many good curly options

[penanceisthecure]

They’re gonna give the most long-suffering sigh and ice their hand with a bag of frozen vegetables. And drink some wine.

WOW, SURE LOVE THE HOLIDAYS!!

[sodoffyabuggers]

I knew it...

[Sorry; serious or not, Worth now basically had confirmation of a classic "evil lair" layout for Envy's penthouse. If Falcata pitched it as a sabotage, Worth just might say yes, not only to stick it to the demon but also to check out if the place had sharks with fricking laser beams on their heads or something. Wasn't sure he could do both in one night, but with the right motivation he could try.

But Lark would take precedence over all that and he was absolutely going to shoot him a little text.

[txt] come out with me tonight they got a whole dinner happening up at st michaels. minimal contact with old bingo biddies i promise. pie almost guaranteed.

There would be extensive contact with "old bingo biddies", but he was seriously toning it down in hopes of coaxing Lark out. And yeah, Worth figured Fal knew. At least they didn't seem to mind too much.]

Yuh, I'll give it a shot. He's got a lot to mope about right now, but m'sure he can take a lunch break.

You... gonna be okay?

[Still felt kind of weird about demons in general and didn't trust Envy as far as he could throw them. But it sounded like Falcata had a kind of peace established? At least enough to have dinner with the Sin, even if they might not totally like it. They were going to make sure "nobody died", and that implied someone might have almost died before.]

[penanceisthecure]

[Well, now that Falcata suggested he take Lark out, Fal couldn't exactly suggest that they limit that outing by having Worth come to sabotage Envy's night. As fun as that would be.

At Lark having plenty to mope about, they shrugged.]

...I guess.

[They didn't know EVERYTHING going on with Lark right now, but he was certainly also in the Envy-problems boat with them anyway. And they were pleased Worth was giving it a shot, even though they immediately made it seem like they didn't give a shit.]

[TXT; Lark -> Worth : right now? ]

[TXT; Lark -> Worth : Pie would be nice ]

[Falcata shrugged.]

Fuck no.

[Tonight will suck. They're going for Taika.]

Enjoy your date.

[penanceisthecure]

Envy is a rich asshole. Thanksgiving is catered at in their bougie fucking penthouse.

[As if Fal didn’t have rich tastes and somewhat miss that sort of thing, if it didn’t come with all the Everything Else.

Fal looked Worth up and down.]

You got plans?

Waffle House?

[seems like YOUR speed, actually.]

[sodoffyabuggers]

...You know, that makes sense? Envy themselves wantin' literally as much as possible, material shit wise? Bein' a rich douchebag asshole. Bet they got a fuckin' fountain right in th' middle of th' first floor, with like blood 'er... green goop shootin' out a statue's dick.

[The most extravagantly stupid thing he could think up on the fly. Didn't hold a lot of respect for bougie penthouses, but even less when the inhabitant had hurt Lark in the way they had.]

What am I doin'? Well normally I invite over Jack, Jim, an' maybe even a couple tiny grey geese--yanno those mini ones? An' uh... we have a big party till I pass out on th' couch!

[Normal holiday stuff, obviously.]

But this year m'not feelin' as shitty so I figured I might swing by th' church down th' road an' check out th' potluck they got goin' on. Not religious 'er anythin'--

[Holds up a hand and smirks as he reassures the half-demon that he's chill, he promises.]

But it's free food an' I got a couple clients that shelter up there a lot I wanna say hi to.

[penanceisthecure]

Blood of the innocents, yeah.

[Envy did not have a fountain, much less a blood fountain, but sure. Right from the dick.

Fal gave him a weird look for the geese and all that, then a hrmph. ]

Guess I can’t recruit you for mine. Would’ve been funny.

[Envy would hate it if Fal not only brought an uninvited guest, but THIS SPECIFIC uninvited guest. Would really take the pressure off Fal. Just a nice swift sabotage to the holiday. Ah well.

Going to church sounded better than Fal’s incoming event, honestly. And holy ground gives them migraines.]

You should take Lark. He’s been moping like a kicked puppy all day.

[Serious downgrade from the lovesick puppy behavior earlier in the week that they could pretty easily guess about. And also didn’t have to guess, because Lark told them.]

[penanceisthecure]

@sodoffyabuggers

We like food. I don’t know what you want me to say.

Taika is going, I’m making sure nobody dies.

[Rubbing the scar on their neck, then crossing arms. Huff.]

They’re not hosting in Hell.

[sodoffyabuggers]

[Notices that scar and has a funny feeling about it, but can't place it so just lets it go. Not like he would have asked outright anyway; not while first officially meeting them. Quite a place for a scar though.]

Of course not, everyone's goin' to Applebee's, yuh? Outback Steakhouse?

Ooh, ooh!

Waffle House! They'd feel right at home in there.

[penanceisthecure]

Envy is a rich asshole. Thanksgiving is catered at in their bougie fucking penthouse.

[As if Fal didn’t have rich tastes and somewhat miss that sort of thing, if it didn’t come with all the Everything Else.

Fal looked Worth up and down.]

You got plans?

Waffle House?

[seems like YOUR speed, actually.]

[penanceisthecure]

@sodoffyabuggers

We like food. I don’t know what you want me to say.

Taika is going, I’m making sure nobody dies.

[Rubbing the scar on their neck, then crossing arms. Huff.]

They’re not hosting in Hell.

[penanceisthecure]

“I’m going for dinner at Envy’s. Nobody give me shit for it.”

Or do. Whatever.

“If I’m not back by midnight, fuck me, I guess.”

[cdwalker]

"As if Uliam has ever once had any interest in sports." A little roll of Charlie's eyes and a small face that Liam made seemed to cement that idea.

"I like any animals, I guess. But there's only so many kinds of them around here in the city. Dogs and cats and rats and birds, I guess. Would like to see like. I don't know. An elephant or something sometime."

Charlie observed the little exchange and gave a disapproving snuff at Falcata's response to Liam's probing of the cat's interests. But before he could say anything, the boy was piping up first.

"I wasn't implying it was a bad name. Relax. You're so on edge for like no reason."

Spending time with his uncle had evened him out just a little. He was still quiet and kept a bit to himself - but he wasn't going to let Falcata just call him names without giving them a talking to about it.

"If you're gonna fight, at least do it outside. I just cleaned in here," Charlie said with a small sigh.

"I don't wanna fight," Liam said, going back to his chicken.

"I just like the cat."

[penanceisthecure]

"Makes sense." At Liam not being into sports. And they would not be clarifying.

"Go to a zoo." Unimpressed. You can see an elephant. It's not hard.

They gave Liam a hard look. "You wouldn't ask a kid if he liked his name in front of his parents. Fucking weird."

And back to eating, grumpily. You WOULD like the cat. The cat is fucking great. ASSHOLE. The cat's name is HOLLANDAISE and it's a GOOD NAME. DICK. ASS.

[cdwalker]

Charlie stared dully in their direction.

"I make it a point to not suck at my job. But if you're really that interested in hovering around a morgue, I'm sure I could find some bodies for you to exhume."

Was he serious, was he not? Who knew.

[penanceisthecure]

"Hell yeah."

Are they joking? Are they not?

"We could start a business together. Emergency Clinic and Embalming. I don't think that'll make people uneasy about your skills at all."

[penanceisthecure]

What Are You Made of?

"...Ducks?"

Hell yeah muscle though. They've been working out.

[cdwalker]

"And what kind of career were you looking for?"

Not something he's thought to ask them before now - seemed relevant. But he'd not thought them to have any blatant goals that he could remember hearing about.

Was interested in hearing about them now - if they would even want to share.

[penanceisthecure]

They crossed their arms.

"Undertaker."

Leaned against a wall.

"For when you suck at your job."