Welcome to Tea & Fireside Chat - TheMidwifeIsIn’s new series! We’re so excited to interview reproductive justice activists, providers, and consumers to tell us about their experiences. We are especially proud to start this series off with Kenya Fairley, author of With Harp & Sword: A Doula’s Guide to Providing Trauma-Informed Birth Support.
First off, Kenya, what’s your favorite tea? — My favorite tea is Aveda Comfort Tea. It is the most soothing warm drink to have during my cycle and I discovered this summer that it’s also delicious as a cold drink any other time. When I make it cold I let it steep overnight—super yummy!
What fires you up? — I get fired up about new ideas and creative initiatives that improve the lives of women and girls. And new Beyonce anything does a pretty amazing job of getting me fired up, too.
Why did you decide to write the book? — I decided to write With Harp & Sword: A Doula’s Guide to Providing Trauma-Informed Birth Support because I felt that a practical guide was missing from the doula practice. In birth, when I think of being responsive to survivors of sexual assault and interpersonal violence, When Survivors Give Birth by Penny Simkin and Survivor Moms by Seng and Sperlich are the first two resources that come to mind. Both of these books are amazingly informative and insightful works but I felt that many doulas I came into contact with were in need of a foundational understanding of the issues and clear, practical steps on how to be supportive, validating, and affirming in their support of survivors. Additionally, many readers of these books have reported that reading multiple stories of childhood sexual abuse, rape and incest is triggering based on their own experiences. I wanted to lessen that impact in my book and offer a different approach to the experience of sharing one’s story. When I shared my experience with being exposed to domestic violence as a child and being raped as an adult, I focused on what survivors might find helpful to create a safe environment for disclosure, help seeking and healing from traumatic experiences.
How do you see birth and reproductive justice in the work that you do? — I see birth and reproductive justice work as being intertwined. Amplifying and honoring the rights and voices of birthing women is essential to providing effective doula support to women and their partners as they make decisions about the care they need for themselves and their children. Healthcare choices can have lifelong impacts on birthing women’s physical, mental and emotional wellbeing, so ensuring ongoing access to safe, affordable, quality health care is a core personal and political belief that I carry in all facets of my work as a doula and an advocate for women.
What’s one thing you wish you knew when you started this work? — I wish I had known how unpredictable birth really can be! Know that I say that with a smile on my face. There have been so many adventures along the way and I’ve done and heard and seen and touched things that I had never even thought about. With every family I learn something new about labor, birth, relationships, myself and holding space. There’s really nothing like it; it truly takes a force of nature to bring new life into this world.
Do you have a message or advice for birth workers - including midwives and doulas? — My message to midwives, doulas and other birth workers would be to go into this with your whole heart. I’ve found this work to be so intimate and personal that I would not be able to participate in this journey or honor the power that exists in women without being open to all the miracles and possibilities that come with the unpredictability of labor and childbirth. I’ve supported women through many variations of what is considered normal birth as well as women who have had stillborns, preeclampsia, and other complications. Being mindful and present to hold space for these women through those experiences requires a heart investment that must be genuine.
How can we learn more about your work? — Please visit my website, www.kenyathedoula.com to learn more about me and my journey as a doula. You can also read about my professional experience as an advocate to end violence against women and girls at www.kenyafairley.com.
Do you have any questions for me, the midwife? — Yes, I’m curious about how you balance providing care to your regular patient list, including being on-call with staying up-to-date on the latest research and practice? Also, do you have a greater affinity for home births, birth center births or those that happen in the hospital? And, what are some pro-tips for birthing in each of those places?
Chloë’s response: Midwifery is a wild, untame-able beast - there’s simply no way to ever fit it into a 9-5 schedule. However, my practice is currently set up so that I work only 12-hour shifts, and I’m never waiting at home “on call.” When I’m home I’m blogging and attempting to meld my body to the couch, but I’m not thinking about work. It’s not a perfect system, but it’s one that works for me these days. I love home birth, birth-center birth, and hospital birth equally - it’s really hard to chose one since they each have a special function and can be beautiful and heartwarming. I work in a hospital now, and though I would probably chose home birth for myself, my overarching goal is to work in a combined birth center/hospital practice.
Since I know hospital birth the best, my Pro-Tip will be for giving birth at a hospital: Make yourself comfortable in the room and remember that you’re in charge. You can change the position of the bed, turn the lights on and off, rearrange the furniture (to a certain degree). And you can always ask people to explain something again, slow down, or stop. Oh, and always bring treats for the nurses!