Endwalker was a masterpiece.

Call me Penguin. Very irregular posting.

[unpretty]

i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as ‘daddy’ and makes contestants wear spreader bars

[dr-hollands-deactivated20190209]

I’m sorry what

[unpretty]

you heard me

[unpretty]

[elkian]

#I CAN’T BELIEVE I NOW KNOW WHERE TO BUY THE EXACT FETISH GEAR THEY USE ON MY FAVORITE COOKING SHOW

[fiskeorn-deactivated20180416]

@genericrevenge

[son-of-maglor]

OKAY BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY USING SPREADER BARS ON A COOKING SHOW??!??! DOESNT THAT MAKE IT KINDA HARD TO COOK???!?

[unpretty]

kinda, yeah

[renthebarbarian]

@datas-vibrating-robot-dong this seems like your speed

[gregorydickens]

That logo looks familiar.

[unpretty]

WHAT

OH MY GOD

[sylveonce]

[paintmeahero]

We met Alton Brown at a show he did here - we paid the extra cash to meet him and get a blurry cellphone pic with him and have him sign a picture. He noticed my (male) companion’s pocket watch, and proceeded to order him to take it out of his pocket. It wasn’t obnoxious, it was in a Dom tone that brooked no argument. So he complied. When he found out it wasn’t wound, and so not working, he was deeply disappointed, and told him to do better next time. 

If this guy isn’t a Dom, I’ll eat that spreader bar.

[unpretty]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[thysilus]

me frm 2016 lookin @ me frm 2022

[thysilus]

wh…what?

[thysilus]

BRO??????????????

[thysilus]

u seein this shit, bedroom demon?

[maddiesharafian]

This one hovered around my heart for over a year <3 

[maddiesharafian]

Oops, I never uploaded this one to Tumblr (which I only realized when someone else did, but then was kind enough to tag me, thank you)!

This is the comic that kickstarted my obsession with telling stories with as few panels as I could (usually 10-11 haha), so it’s got a soft spot in my heart. 

[balkansoul-deactivated20220924]

the whole "british people struggling in this heat ur ancestors colonized the whole world" is just sooo ??? u do realize new delhi has been recording temperatures higher than 45 degree celcius for a second year in a row. this isnt about british people at all??? the world is burning hello???? lmfao

[malynca]

[valiumvenus]

https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2022/may/02/pakistan-india-heatwaves-water-electricity-shortages

April temperatures at unprecedented levels have led to critical water and electricity shortages

"Ahmed fears that things are only about to get worse. It was here, in 2021, that the world’s highest temperature for May was recorded, a staggering 54°C. This year, he said, feels even hotter. “Last week was insanely hot in Turbat. It did not feel like April,” he said."

that's 129°F btw

[prince-tips]

Also, it’s not the assholes whose houses are burning in britain - its the buildings of people who cant afford ac, have limited fireproofing and are most likely renting. Worldwide, it’s poor people who are struggling while rich people pay their way to survival.

 Please think before you clown on the poor, thanks.

[penguinwarlords]

It makes me laugh that people from the USA and Australia are laughing at Britain’s heatwave until they find out we have no ACs in homes here. They literally are shocked and say “Why don’t you have them?!” Oh yes, we should buy a £100 AC for our 10 day summer when the rest of the time it’s wet, cold and miserable. Smh.

[penguinwarlords]

I made this post 5 years ago. The next two days are going to be tops of 37c (98.6f) for the first day and 41c (105.8) for the second. Still with no ac.

[bearotonin-international]

Floofability score: sheep

[bearotonin-international]

Although logic, common sense, and basic self-preservation instincts tell us better, we must agree with you, Good Sir

[bearotonin-international]

A point we cannot refute

[squareallworthy]

Do kids today even understand why podcasts are called podcasts?

[squareallworthy]

Well, you see, kids, almost twenty years ago Apple produced a portable audio player called – wait, I need to go back further.

[squareallworthy]

Okay, so in the 20th century, the new inventions of radio and television were known as broadcast media – no, wait, that’s not really the start either –

[squareallworthy]

Broadcasting originally refers to throwing, or casting, handfuls of seeds onto prepared ground, typically used with grain crops, which, uh –

[squareallworthy]

– the Agrucultural Revoution, which begain circa 10,000 BC in the Levant, was when humans began preserving seeds for replanting –

[kaldurcalm-deactivated20240513]

Wait what

[wafflebloggies]

[voxeldeath-deactivated20220518]

[kaban-bang]

[wildhumanhasappeared]

the what

[thunderwhenhepurrs]

*coughs* Friendly doll person here.

So Mattel came out with different Barbie body types a couple years ago, right? There’s your normal body, but there’s also Curvy, Petite, and Tall now.

Around the same time, they came out with the Made to Move body, which has a ton more articulation than your normal Barbie.

Customizers love the Made to Move body, because hey, a lot more fun positions to put a doll in for photographing. But now Mattel has started making the Made to Move dolls with the additional body types from above. We’ve gotten a Curvy Made to Move doll so far, afaik.

This Queen Elizabeth doll, though? Is the first time there’s been a Petite Made to Move body released by Mattel. So customizers were buying it up not out of any care about Queen Elizabeth — but they were buying it to pop her head right off and use the new body for other dolls!

[general-cerberus]

The thing i like the most about tumblr is learning tiny details about communities i would otherwise not even be aware of. thank you for this info

[confusedgayinfj]

I’m not from the uk but from what I understand the general consensus is that a cat is more qualified than the current pm. I love it.

[ageofgeek]

the special relationship is as strong as ever, lads

[delphinidin4]

[yellowxperil-deactivated2026012]

srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the f***ing time

like where if he knows a girl doesn’t necessarily want to give him a hug, he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him

if she doesn’t want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her.

she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other ppl or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact

it’s a f***ing trap

[bombchelle]

F***ing hate dudes forreal.

[poltxsexkitten]

too many f***ing times ugh

[potamideriver]

Story time. One day I was on the MAX (basically a giant street car that goes all over the metro area) on my way to meet up with a few friends. I didn’t look at anyone, I didn’t speak to anyone, I just stood to the side on my phone making sure I wasn’t going to be late to my meeting. Out of no where, this guy comes up to me and starts to chat me up. Me, being who I am, am absolutely terrified to tell this guy to f*** off. He was at least half a foot taller than me, and was way too bulky for me to fight back. So I suck it up at humor him, say hello. Before introducing himself or asking me for my name, he asks me out on a date. Not wanting to piss him off I try to make light of the situation and I laugh, telling him that my boyfriend wouldn’t like the idea, but thank you for the offer. He just shrugs and says, “He doesn’t need to know.” At this point I’m scared out of my mind. There’s this guy who, after seeing me run two blocks to catch the train, comes up to me and has made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to leave without getting something out of me. I deny him a second time, saying, “I don’t even know you’re name. We’re strangers, I don’t know you.” He finally introduces himself and asks me for my phone number. I tell him I don’t give my number out to people I’ve just met and he says, “Fine, but at least take mine so we can meet up later.” So he watches me plug his number into my phone (which I deleted as soon as I knew I was safe and away from him) as we’re pulling up to my stop. I tell him I need to leave and switch trains and he tells me, “Oh, I’ll wait with you. I don’t have any plans, so I’m in no rush.” It’s important to note what at this point he had previously told me that he was late to a job interview, but he has all the time in the world because he still hasn’t gotten what he wanted from me; a yes. I get off of the train and he follows me, and waits at the platform with me for over ten minutes until my train arrives, asking me all sorts of personal questions about where I live and where I was going that day. As soon as the train pulls up he grabs for me and says, “Do I at least get a hug before you go?” I was terrified. I was embarrassed. This dude, who before even asking me for my name asks me out on a date and then continues to harass me after I tell him I have a boyfriend, asks me for a hug only fifteen minutes after meeting. People around us were staring at me, as if I was being rude for denying him, and every inch of me was mortified. I wanted to run, but I felt like if I had done that he would have chased after me and things would have gotten worse. So I did, and he squeezed me so tight I felt like I was going to burst. It took me a good ten seconds to get him to let go and I ran to the train car just as the doors were closing. He was trying to get me to miss my train so I would have to wait with him even longer. I would have been stuck there for over a half an hour until the next train came by, and the platform (aside from the few buses coming by) was now COMPLETELY EMPTY. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing and he knew EXACTLY how to get me alone with him. People, if you are in a situation like this do not feel obligated to give in. If someone is making you uncomfortable and asks to touch you in any way, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SAY YES. Make excuses, be blunt, just straight up say ‘no’. If possible, go to someone else near by who you think can help you and ask them to help you. It’s important for guys to learn that they can’t get what they want just by asking over and over again. I got lucky. But not everyone does. Please, everyone, Be Safe.

[d-o-llf-a-ce]

SECOND STORY TIME

So I was on the transit bus alone one time. This was my first time riding, and so already I was PETRIFIED. I sit down, pull out my ipod, and begin to play some games. This guy sits down next to me, and begins trying to have a conversation. I don’t really respond, I don’t even look at him, just give half-hearted “mhm”s and “oh”s, as I don’t want to be rude if he was just striking up a friendly conversation. He then asks me on a date.

Now, as I stated before, I already was absolutely petrified. My heart stopped and I didn’t know how to answer. So I just didn’t. He didn’t let up and I could feel his eyes on me. I quietly stammer out a “no thanks” and my stop HAPPENS to be coming up, so I pull the string thing to let the driver know I want to stop there, and once we stop and the doors open I get up and he asks me, “Well, can I at least have a hug before you go if you won’t go on a date with me?” 

This makes me break. There are now people staring, as we are the only people standing up and not getting off… So I just start crying. Hell, I am bawling almost instantly. He looks so fucking freaked out and people are now getting up to come over and comfort me/question him. I don’t stop crying, and he keeps trying to comfort me by touching me, and people are yelling at him for that. 

AND THEN. AND. FUCKING. THEN. THE GOD DAMN BUS DRIVER. A VERY EASILY 6 FOOT BURLY MAN. COMES OVER TO US. PULLS THE GUY AWAY. AND KNEELS DOWN. HE THEN ASKS, IN THE MOST CALM VOICE, “Did you request the stop?” I very slowly and shakily nod, as I am still crying my eyes out. He then asks, “Do you want to get off?” I give a quiet “mhm” and nod once again, and he offers me his hand. I take it, he stands up, and he escorts me off the bus. He asks me questions such as where I was going next, if I was going to meet someone shortly, if I was going to transfer buses from there. He was very polite and waited for me to answer the entire time, and my friend (who I was going to be meeting there) showed up. He asked me if this was someone I knew, I said yes, and he said alright, have a good day. He then told me- and this is something stuck in my mind forever, so it is word for word-

“If some guy EVER starts harassing you like that again, do exactly what you did there. Cry. Cry and scream and have a temper tantrum. Not only will it throw him off, but it will get others to notice. They might not interfere, they might, but you will have gotten their attention and if you happen to go missing the next day the search for you will be a hell of a lot easier because everyone in that location will have seen you screaming and crying with a guy now very awkward with his actions. They will know. That is what my daughter did, and three days after she went missing she was back in my arms. I pray for you and every other person like you who has this done. You stay safe now, okay?” And after I began blubbering again, I nodded and he left.

So this is the second lesson for yall. If you can not have the courage to say no or make an excuse, cry. Let out those sobs and tears and cry your heart out. Because it is going to make people notice and make people aware.

[cosmic-noir]

Reblogging for that second story. This might save a life.

[grumpybeardruid-archive-deactiv]

I just wanna note that bus drivers can be really amazing and good ones do look out for their riders.

[han-syolo-shot-first]

Also, as an additional tip (in case you cannot cry on command or such), you can say, “No, because you’re creepy/creeping me out” and if he persists or tries to laugh it off, say “I do not want to be touched” and look at one of the strangers/persons that is watching.

It: 1. Gives them a sense of urgency in the situation, as the eye contact is a way to make them feel as though you are personally asking for their help and it is now their obligation to help. 2. Contains words so that if you’re in a public place but people aren’t necessarily watching, then they (as natural evesdroppers) can overhear the attention-grabbing words and then notice the situation. Note, this does NOT mean that they will come for help, but you might be able to look someone in the eye (as previously mentioned) or just get some people’s attention. 3. It shows that you have fight in you. As with rapists, those who are physically aggressive (ie. these huggers) choose women they see as an easy target. The moment you show them you are going/willing to fight them, they are less likely to continue. Sadly, this is not always the case, but every little bit helps.

Hopes this also helps, guys, and I’m so sad that this has to even be a post we need.

[oxfordcommaforever]

Dudes who follow me: 1) reblog this 2) don’t be the creepy guy who asks random women for hugs 3) be aware of your friends or random creepy dudes and call them out if they act gross towards girls/womem

[midoriko-sama]

Ok, I wasn’t going to comment about this, because there was no way of doing it without talking about a part of my life I really didn’t want to. But fuck that, there be young girls out there who need a hand.

So I used to be hot when I was young. I mean, model hot, because I actually used to model. Even now, I’ve let myself go on purpose because I was tired of the harassment. But I fit a UK size 6 with a pert ass from volleyball and a cup c breast. As you can imagine, I couldn’t wear anything or go ANYWHERE without being harassed. I sometimes even happened in church.

Anyway, I’m not a shrinking lily, and when I get angry enough I can do some crazy shit. So here are some of my coping mechanisms:

1) find a matronly looking lady, run up to her with ‘aunt may! I haven’t seen you in ages! ’ then whisper ‘please help he’s harassing me!’. 99.9 times out of 100, she will be scandalised and help you anyway even if she’s annoyed or in a hurry. If no older lady is available, find a younger one, or a nun, or a trans lady. We of the sisterhood know what it is to be harnessed, and I guarantee if you look frightened enough, they will help.

2) If you are out alone at night, and someone is following you, spot a house or apartment where the lights are on and knock, asking ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ or ‘john’ to let you in. Even if the people inside are annoyed, odds are they won’t turn you away, and you can phone someone to pick you up, or phone the police from a safe space

3) Make noise. Cry and scream loudly, call them out ‘i don’t know you and you are terrifying me! Please get away from me!’ if there are people around. Even if they don’t help directly for fear of their own safety, someone around you is calling security or 911.

4) speak a foreign language. If you know it, speak the language to them fast and incessantly, like you have just met someone you knew and you’re just giving the best performance rant of why your OTP is the best OTP. Make yourself ANNOYING. Think about what would be awkward and annoying to you and make it what you do to them. If you make them think YOU are something to get away from they will leave you in peace.

Now beware, the following ones are the CRAZY ones and may not always work. But they are a valid last resort:

5) stare at them. Stare at them like you’re hungry and they are a hapless deer you’re going to tear to pieces. Like yours the girl from the ring emerging from the TV to kill them. Don’t smile, don’t change your expression. DON’T BLINK. Hold their state like you’re Wednesday Adams about to do unspeakable things to a spider, and they are the spider. Even the most courageous of stalkers balk at this, but if they don’t…

6) Use the Hannibal Lector. After staring at them for and extended period of time (imagine all the things that have made you scared, imagine you could get revenge on them for putting you here, that’s the thought you need to have), if they are getting closer to you, whisper something like ‘i would fry your liver in garlic’. Even the hardiest ones will be taken aback, but keep it up while making sure you don’t let the others hear you. Things like, occult star readings requiring blood, wondering whether he is the offering the spirits sent. If you’re on this site you’ve read some weird shit at least once. Tell him that. Tell him you would like him to meet your lord, Vlad the Impaler, who requires much blood to be appeased. Be a stereotypical ‘crazy bitch’ like they see in the movies. Believe it or not, this has worked for me twice.

Above all, banish the notion that you have to be polite.

They were impolite by approaching you. If you can, ignore them. If you are not alone, pointedly put headphones in your ear, and don’t make eye contact, wait for them to realise that ‘youre a bitch anyway’ and move away. If you are alone, evade and find places and ways to fix that as soon as POSSIBLE.

And if all else fails, summon Satan.

[prismatic-bell]

Something I have learned at work:

Never underestimate the power of a good “EXCUSE me????”

Legit. It makes people STOP IN THEIR TRACKS. This is the one I whip out when people start swearing at me over the headset and always, without fail, they stop what they’re saying, shocked.

Go for offended, and go for loud. Not yelling loud, but giving-your-best-presentation loud. “EXCUSE me??? You approached me two minutes ago, I don’t even know your name, and you want WHAT? Creep.”

For one, the presentation will shock them. For another, that indignant tone? EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS GOING TO WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS JUICY SHIT.

Now the second key here is, DON’T LET HIM JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain). He smiles and goes “I just wanted–” FUCKING INTERRUPT HIM. Firmly. Irritably. “I heard what you wanted, and I’ve already declined once. Maybe you should go back to kindergarten where they teach you no means no.” Run right over the fucker. He’s not respecting your words, you don’t need to respect his.

A further note: if you’re an iPhone user, you can use Siri to call 911. (I know Android has a similar function, but I don’t know what it is–play with your AI and find out.) If you’re in a secluded area, this works well; I used to walk home from work at 2am and had to do it twice. Make eye contact with your harasser, activate Siri, and loudly, firmly say “Siri, call 911.” Siri will immediately reply “calling emergency services.” (It actually takes five seconds to activate, but there’s a Call Now button if you need it.) Almost ALWAYS the person harassing you would rather take off than wait for you to get a dispatcher on the line.

[lazycrownsuit]

Don’t want to post much stuff like this but this might be helpful one day for someone. Read it, even just a small part.

[prismatic-bell]

I have no memory of this post, but it remains true with one update:

Iphone users past the 6, there is now a new way to activate emergency services. I have the SE 2016 and cannot help you, but the internet should be able to tell you how to access this function. Check for it. It could save your life.

Also I didn’t mention this the first time around, but a guy tried to steal my carryon when I was on a flight once and and the trick I mentioned above kept him from walking off with it. EVERYONE turned to stare. EVERYONE. He dropped the bag and went “Uh I was just-just-just I thought it was mine.” “Really? You thought my women’s backpack was your bag that you haven’t taken out of the overhead bin?”

He went SILENT. He knew he had no defense left. He just sort of slunk off the plane with his (definitely very distinctive, not at all resembling mine) bag.

IT WORKS.

[madphantom]

I was 14, I was on the bus with my younger friend at seven in the morning in winter and it was CRAMMED. So, we land a seat in front of this 60-ish dude, and he starts talking about my tits and asking my age. I WAS FOURTEEN. I WAS TERRIFIED. There were people all around, they saw and heard everything, MY FRIEND WAS RIGHT NEXT TO ME, and nobody did jack shit. So anyway, I start saying “Sir, this is inappropriate. Stop.” He doesn’t. Eventually I snap and hiss “MY BOYFRIEND IS 6'6 AND GOOD AT MULTIPLE MARTIAL ARTS AND YOU DON’T WANT HIM TO KICK YOUR ASS” (Which wasn’t a lie, if you ignored that my boyfriend lived on the other side of the country). IT WORKED. Ladies, mention your boyfriend to creeps. Even if he doesn’t exist.

[baconandawesome]

I have a story too, involving the bus division of MAX:

I was riding the bus to work one day, and someone got on that I will only describe as “malignant santa”. White beard, rotund, dressed in red… and immediately once he gets on, he says hello to “all the beautiful ladies!” On board. And yet it’s me, sitting by the window and still visibly a teenager (18, but I often got mistaken for sixteen or even fourteen for how small I was), and he starts chatting me up about where I’m going, what I do for work, etc.

He then asks if he can buy me lunch, which I tell him no I have to go to work, and he says “a quick meal at McDonalds won’t cost either of us much.” Which cues me in, oh no, he’s getting off at the same stop as me. So we get off, and I wait at the crosswalk, and he asks the dreaded question “can I get a hug before you go?”

At that point, thank the gods, the crossing turned and I all but shouted “I’m going to be late for work!” And practically run across the street, through the blackberry bushes, up two flights of stairs to my office.

But it wasn’t over, because I actually did need lunch and McDonalds was still the closest place to go. Thankfully a coworker and my huge manager also wanted food, so the three of us went togeather. And who was there, sitting by the Play Place and glaring daggers at me while I ate my quarter pounder meal?

Malignant Santa.

When it comes to these situations, fight or flight is your best bet. Try not to freeze up, because these sickos do take freezing as consent… but that’s a different story.

[lizluvscupcakes]

If you’re in trouble, I’m your girlfriend. I’m big, fat, scary and have a very good bitch face.

[chiribomb-deactivated20220820]

Yesss all of this. Women are conditioned so hard to always be polite, whether it’s because that’s “lady-like” or because it’s a way to defuse threats, and even if you read posts like this and say “ok that’s what I’ll do next time,” it’s so easy to just be startled into default politeness/assent because you don’t want to be rude if you’ve misunderstood their intentions and so on. And these types of people know that and that’s exactly what they’re manipulating. These guys aren’t used to hearing no or having people react in a way other than the default social script of politeness. It’s true not only of overtly aggressive situations like these but also of more subtle things like hitting on you or trying to talk to you when you don’t want to, and the important thing to remember is that THEY’RE the ones behaving poorly and THEY’RE the ones breaking the social script, and you don’t owe them or their feelings ANYTHING. The very act of you reacting in an unexpected way can throw them. Sometimes you may misinterpret a friendly attempt at conversation as something worse and maybe they’ll walk away thinking you’re rude but honestly? Who cares? It’s better for people to think you’re rude sometimes than to be a victim. Practise it in your head or in the shower or with a friend or whatever so that it overrides that automatic reflex to be nice. You don’t owe anyone your time, your attention, your body, or information.

[evilbuildingsblog]

Cute house. Why would the real estate agent post this making this 2 bedroom look like the entryway to hell?

[starry-moonlit-gays]

[visceralcoma]

You just know the local HOA would pitch such a bitch fit over those unseemly bushes.

[buspir-deactivated20230127]

the notes are broken 😂

[calvin-reads-problem-sleuth]

Reblogging partly for awesome computer shortcuts, and partly because I wish to once again take part in a Post That Broke The Notes. 

[lookitsmorefandomtrash-deactiva]

WAH

[christianstepmoms]

[hollowboobtheory]

dragon age is so fucked up there's an entire faction of french murder clowns and nobody talks about it

[hollowboobtheory]

How does anybody in orlais sleep knowing the house of repose is out there.... murdering... honking...

[thedreadblog]

Tags @silvertonguedelf