This blog is Offensive.

My name is Penny and sometimes I will post memes. Side-blog to my rp blog, so I don't have to deal with it clogging my activity. Feel free to reblog, it's doubtful I'll take requests unless I find it interesting. Also, this blog is bound to be offensive so don't follow if you are easily offended or can't take a dirty joke.

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Sentence starters based on shit my dad says pt. 1

[ disclaimer: most of the insults were said to our pets. ]

"Get, before I shove my toe up your ass!"

"Shut up, dumb ass."

"Shut up, Forest Chump."

"I'm the man."

"I'll slap you so hard, you'll change colors."

"I fucked up."

"I wasn't paying attention."

"Now he's too fat to do shit!"

"I am the shit!"

"I'm a good cook, shit."

"There ain't nothing I can't cook."

"I keep tellin' him: you do stupid shit to make me snap."

"Well, what the fuck!?"

"-Sarcastically- Oh, well, sorry!"

"Oh my fucking god, can't I catch a break?"

"Whore!"

"Nobody gives a rat's ass what you think."

"You smell like shit."

"I'm tryin' to take a piss!"

"I shouldn't have peed outside in winter, I think I froze my dick."

"Run, Forest, run!"

"Tell him I'm sleeping."

"This tastes like shit."

"Well, why the fuck would you do that?"

"Doesn't s/he know I have more important things to do?"

"-Exasperated & slightly annoyed- Oh, my god!"

"I'm going to steal his porn."

"Does it ever shut up?"

"She used to be hot, now she's not."

"I don't understand this."

"The goddamn directions are in fucking Chinese!"

"I'm done with this shit."

"Shut up, Candy Ass."

"Have you tried my cookies? They're the bomb."

"Get the bat!"

"Well, he's dead."

"Okay, I'm sorry: you might not be a whore, but you are a bitch."

"Get the fuck out of my way."

"Getting old sucks."

"Being a parent didn't come with a guidebook."

"Haha, stupid ass!"

"I don't know how to tie a ponytail."

"Don't you have...you know...*whispers* tampons...?"

"I don't know why I bother anymore."

"How does that make any sense?"

"You're just a Lame-oh with no game-oh."

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Send me a ✍ + a number through 24

& I will draw our muses in the position/theme of the photo/gif. All are SFW & trigger free. No peeking! These are shippy, but some can be used for platonic ships! & Some are also angsty.

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[pennys-dump-blog]

PH Forbidden Play ( English ) Starter Sentences.

[ lyrics were taken from infractus-viscera's translation. ]

"This forbidden place is to be ours alone."

"Kept from the rest of the world."

"Even the seasons gone by will never have a chance to catch us."

"I'm begging you, don't cry."

"That was all you asked of me."

"There's no one else but you."

"& You still left me by myself."

"I'll never stop looking for you."

"I forgot why am I still searching for."

"Am I really trying in vain?"

"Forgiving you just makes me bitter."

"I'm begging you, don't go!"

"I will be waiting."

"I don't know if I want to leave it all behind."

"Oh, how I wish I could just rest, remaining here for all of time."

"I'm so scared, please tell me why I was born?"

"Don't know why my chest starts to hurt every time I am thinking about you."

"I wonder who I really am."

"Please, tell me who I really am."

[makingsomethinggreat-blog]

Inbox kiss

Post these in my ask to see my muse’s reaction to your surprise kiss:

✎:Kiss at school

☯: Kiss on the forehead

✌: Kiss on the hand

ツ: Peck on the lips

✄: Kiss on the neck

☂: Kiss in the Rain

☃: Kiss in the Snow

❦:Passionate kiss

♫:Kiss on the nose

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Get Scared lyric starters

(( Most are angst, some are triggering and slightly NSFW. Play with caution! And feel free to add more. ))

"I've been living my death, over and over again!"

"I once was blind but now I see the light."

"Maybe I should cut my wrists."

"I've never been fucked like this!"

"You pollute the room with a filthy tongue!"

"You were wrong!"

"I've been falling apart, self destructive at heart."

"It's okay if you hate me."

"You're a Goddamn liar!"

"I know you hate me."

"I can see through your eyes."

"If this is love, I don't wanna be loved!"

"You're a cheap little whore!"

"I won't believe a filthy word from your mouth."

"You ripped my heart apart!"

"You have the guts to take me by surprise"

"Can I just call a quits?"

"I can't take all of this!"

"This is what it's like to fake a smile and say that everything's okay, as long as I take blame."

"Eyes can only see what they want."

"It's exactly what you want for love."

"Your heart without a key is just a lock to bleed."

"Picture perfect down the drain again."

"I'm getting tired of these stupid little people knockin' you down to the ground."

"You never would have found your mess."

"I hope it's worth all of the shame."

"I was blind, but oh, you were wrong."

"What goes on behind those eyes of yours?"

"I'm the deepest lie you ever told."

"My mind is weak and now it's wandered off."

"Those green eyes could only get you so far."

"I'm losing everything that I thought would always last."

"So now I lie, waiting for a cure to this poisoned and diseased mind I thought that had my back."

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but anything you say will only fuel my lungs!"

"If I had common sense I'd cut myself or curl up and die!"

"All of this pain, oh will it go away?"

"When will this change? I don't wanna wait."

"I wanna leave this place behind, every time I see your face in mine."

"Did I wreck this broken home!?"

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Lollipop Chainsaw starter sentences!

warning: some are nsfw-ish!

"Aw, your simple innocence is one of the most attractive things about you!"

"You're like a kitten! A kitten that doesn't speak Japanese!"

"That My Chemical Romance wannabe is destroying (town name)!"

"Geez, so emo!"

"Do you wanna have babies someday, (name)?"

"You ever had a space cake?"

"I think I stepped in cow poop!"

"I would never have sex with a zombie!...Well, unless it sent me flowers."

"It's like a German porno video around here."

"Someone is using some fucked up fertilizer!"

"Welcome to my bedroom!"

"Don't think me letting you in here, is any invitation for any funny stuff."

"Not that I have a problem with funny stuff."

"No, this can't be!...I-I saved you...!"

"Seriously dude, what the hell?"

"Ugh! And on my birthday too?!"

"Gross - Stupid - Undead douchebags...!"

"Death metal is for pussies."

"Woah! Zombies suck dick at driving!"

"Your license should be revoked, bro!"

"That dumb wall is in the way!"

"You're destroying the wall!"

"All this retro nonsense is bugging me hardcore!"

"At least you'll never have to wear parachute pants."

"I hear zombie brains are good for the complexion!"

"I'm fat as fuck & you're a gay perv!"

"Do the robot!"

"Killing zombies is making me weird!"

"Oh great, this isn't going to be as easy as I thought..."

"Hey perv! Don't be looking up my skirt!"

"Killing zombies gives me total wood."

"That's a weird thing to say."

"Whoever's behind this knows my birthday...! We must be friends on Facebook!"

"I hate it when everyone turns into zombies."

"But it's also kind of fun because I get to do stuff like jump on a fire truck!"

"Haha, it /is/ fun! It almost makes me forget that most of my friends are dead!"

"If it isn't the Pirates of the Jerk-off-ian!"

"Later, after we kill all the zombies, let's come back to this farm and ride the cows!"

"You're going to ride a COW?"

"Don't be racist against cows, (name)!"

"When I practice this alone in my room I do it naked and get less wind resistance!"

"I do it for the exercise! Really...!"

"Put a dollar in my skirt and I won't kill you!"

"Haha! Just kidding-- I'd kill you anyway!"

I'm the pervert? You're the one with a head hanging from your hip."

"What else have you killed?"

"Leprechauns. I killed a whole tribe of Frankenberries once"

"Ugh, that's total propaganda to get you to trust them!"

"I'm pretty good at keeping guys OUT of my body; never tried getting inside of someone else's."

"If it bleeds, I can kill it!"

"You're already dead!"

"Urgh! I hate it when people die!"

"Oh, no, he's dead!"

"I swear, I did it by mistake!"

"I didn't know you spoke Japanese!"

"Why don't you try using some deodorant? Because, honestly, you smell like shit!"

"Sasquatches are dicks..."

"I'm going into the light...shit, I see Satan."

"(Name), now isn't the time to talk dirty."

"I love you as much as I love cheeseburgers."

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Send me a ❤ if you’d like to ship our muses.

[pennys-dump-blog]

I Want Candy (Dead) Sentence pack!

Will somebody answer the fucking phone?

My name isn't Justin.

I can't come out tonight.

But I thought we were gonna have an orgy?

No. No. Her name is Candy.

I don't care what her name is.

What? Oh, hell no.

I'll fucking beat her/him.

She's got everything that I desire.

I didn't know you liked the taco.

Are you sure it's not Randy?

I'll kill that bitch.

You always told me you were going to the bathroom!

'Cause she's a slut.

You're my girl/guy what the doctor ordered.

I didn't know you could have a skank as a prescription.

'Cause my cock was in your mouth last night.

I want candy!

Yeah, candy penis.

You're gonna smell like fish!

Bitch, you're not Willy Wonka.

She's just a loose-pussied hoe!

Why do you keep saying hey?

I will kill you, shut up.

Oh, gag me with a spoon.

Well, isn't /that/ kinky?

You're a cockeye, I don't want you.

You'll have the smell of fish all the time.

It's not even Halloween!

She/He's not even a real girl/guy!

Great, Let's go to WalMart and get some.

Oh, God, we get the point.

Oh, not again.

All I want is your candy!

I will kill you, I will kill you with my eyeliner.

I'll kill that bitch, too.

[pennys-dump-blog]

jeff dunham starter sentences ;;

"You know, the weird part is I am actually pissing him/her off."

"He/she would like to kill me. But he/she will not because that would be a form of suicide."

"Dude, you need a tic-tac."

"The hell was that?"

"At the end of it all, there were two people who thought I was an ass."

"Ya dumbasses."

"Note to self. Build a frickin' roof."

"It's okay. He/she is an idiot."

"STOP TOUCHING MEEEE!"

"You idiot, you don't have an ass."

"The hell is wrong with you? We cannot talk at the same time!"

"Trust me, you would not do well in prison."

"My god, I can die happy now."

"Welcome to Walmart. Get your shit and get out."

"He/she always has a good time and it pisses me off."

"She jumped on her menstrual cycle and ran my ass over."

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Thread Dividers Master-List

I made none of these, if you see one that belongs to you that you would like removed or credited for, simply message me & I will do so!

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Send me "Bzzt Bzzt"

for my muse to have a short text conversation with your muse when they're emotional using this generator.

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Send me "Big Spoon"

For my muses reaction to being asked by yours to be the the big spoon for a change. (bonus points if your muse is taller than mine)

Reverse of this meme.

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Send me "Little Spoon"

for my muses reaction to being asked by yours to be the the little spoon for a change. (bonus points if your muse is shorter than mine)

Reverse of this meme.

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I actually am dry on ideas. Send some submissions?

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I actually am dry on ideas. Send some submissions?

[pennys-dump-blog]

I actually am dry on ideas. Send some submissions?

[pennys-dump-blog]

If They Had A Kid Meme

send me a ship and I'll tell you their:

Name: 

Gender: 

General Appearance: 

Personality: 

Special Talents: 

Who they like better: 

Who they take after more: 

Personal Head canon: 

Face Claim: