a friend to all is a friend to none
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@pensees-heureuses
a friend to all is a friend to none
Eternal order is prescribed by the sacred engine: all things flow from the sacred engine, all things in their place, all passengers in their section, all water flowing. all heat rising, pays homage to the sacred engine, in its own particular preordained position. So it is.
SNOWPIERCER (2013), dir. Bong Joon-ho
Basement // Pine
The Wonder Years // Passing Through A Screen Door
āEverybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them theyāve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.ā
ā Neil Gaiman, The Sandman
rhode island // the front bottoms
Since once in a blue moon I actually discover a decent rule for adulting, and since I know I have followers a few years younger than me who are just entering the workforce, I want to tell you about a very important phrase.Ā
āI wonāt be available.ā
Imagine youāre at work and your boss asks you to come in on Saturday. Saturday is usually your day offācoming in Saturdays is not an obligation to keep your job. Maybe you were going to watch a movie with a friend, or maybe you were just going to lie in bed and eat ice cream for eight hours, but either way you really, really donāt want to give up your day off.
If you consider yourself a millennial youāve probably been raised to believe you need to justify not being constantly at work. And if youāre a gen-Z kid youāre likely getting the same toxic messages that we did. So in a situation like that, you might be inclined to do one of three things:
Tell your boss youād rather not give up your day off. Cave when they pressure you to come in anyway, since youāre not doing anything important.
Tell your boss youād rather not give up your day off. Over-apologize and worry that you looked bad/unprofessional.
Lie and say youāve got a doctorās appointment or some other activity that feels like an adequate justification for not working.
The fact is, it doesnāt matter to your boss whether youāre having open heart surgery or watching anime in your underwear on Saturday. The only thing that affects them is the fact that you wonāt be at work. So telling themĀ whyĀ you wonāt be at work only gives them reason to try and pressure you to come in anyway.
If you sayĀ āI wonāt be available,ā giving no further information, youād be surprised how often thatās enough. Be polite and sympathetic in your tone, maybe even sayĀ āsorry, but I wonāt be available.ā But donāt make an excuse. If your boss is a professional individual, theyāll accept that as aĀ ānoā and try to find someone else.Ā
But bosses arenāt always professional. Sometimes theyāre whiny little tyrants. So, what if they pressure you further? The answer isāpolitely and sympathetically give them no further information.
āAre you sure youāre not available?āĀ āSorry, but yes.ā
āWhy wonāt you be available?āĀ āI have a prior commitment.ā (Which you do, even if itās only to yourself.)
āWhatās your prior commitment?āĀ āSorry, but thatās kind of personal.ā
āCan you reschedule it?āĀ āIām afraid not. Maybe someone else can come in?ā
If you donāt give them anything to work with, they canāt pressure you into going beyond your obligations as an employee. And when they realize that, theyāll also realize they have to find someone else to come in and move on.
IMPORTANT!! PLEASE READ!!
Just like with many other parts of life, learn to say ānoā to people. You are important. Donāt kill yourself for another person, esp. if they are your boss.
All Our Bruised Bodies and the Whole Heart Shrinks
Pine // Basement
Dead Poets Society (1989)
Wavering // Casey
Trainspotting (1996) dir. Danny Boyle
RARE HISTORIC PHOTOS WE MIGHT HAVENāT YET SEEN
An Exotic Dancer Demonstrates That Her Underwear Was Too Large To Have Exposed Herself, After Undercover Police Officers Arrested Her In Florida
Dorothy Counts ā The First Black Girl To Attend An All-White School In The United States ā Being Teased And Taunted By Her White Male Peers At Charlotteās Harry Harding High School, 1957
Austrian Boy Receives New Shoes During WWII
Jewish Prisoners After Being Liberated From A Death Train, 1945
The Graves Of A Catholic Woman And Her Protestant Husband, Holland, 1888
A Lone Man Refusing To Do The Nazi Salute, 1936
Job Hunting In 1930ās
German Soldiers React To Footage Of Concentration Camps, 1945
Residents Of West Berlin Show Children To Their Grandparents Who Reside On The Eastern Side, 1961
Acrobats Balance On Top Of The Empire State Building, 1934
Mafia Boss Joe Masseria Lays Dead On A Brooklyn Restaurant Floor Holding The Ace Of Spades, 1931
Lesbian Couple At Le Monocle, Paris, 1932
The Most Beautiful Suicide ā Evelyn Mchale Leapt To Her Death From The Empire State Building, 1947
The Remains Of The Astronaut Vladimir Komarov, A Man Who Fell From Space, 1967
Race Organizers Attempt To Stop Kathrine Switzer From Competing In The Boston Marathon. She Became The First Woman To Finish The Race, 1967
Harold Whittles Hearing Sound For The First Time, 1974
Nikola Tesla Sitting In His Laboratory With His āMagnifying Transmitterā more