what are some kind of secrets/rumours you guys would like to see around here?
rumors. big thanks as always to @rosecoloredbov & my angel emily - this list wouldn’t have been possible without y’all !
snorted coke off their ta’s tits last summer
steals salt and pepper packets from pops everytime they visit
contributes so much to the chocolate milk sales in the local grocery store that they accidentally overstocked when they went to college
was an extra in harry potter and the goblet of fire
smoked oregano instead of weed one time
got kicked out of the army for sexting using a government issued phone
still eats whole sticks of butter, to this day
spent a considerable amount of time in jail for piracy ( not with like, a ship, but downloading from limewire )
are the reason that pixi stix were banned in middle school
fakes life changing events for their vlogging channel
alternatively : had three nipples, but got one removed
is the only reason the local pizza place still stocks pineapple at all
used to run an illegal gambling ring - game of choice? pokemon card duels
collects umbrella covers / toenail clippings / troll dolls / insert something weird
is another illicit fp jones child
are widely believed not to be able to count to ten and has never proved anybody wrong about it
got caught breaking into someone’s house cause they got distracted by their cute pet
honestly believes that lol means lots of love
is actually their identical twin who “died” years ago
got hit by a car playing pokemon go
got silly bands banned in middle school
the only word that they don’t know in english is vagina, but at least they know it in spanish !
broke both of their front teeth falling up the stairs in third grade
is one of the members of daft punk
is still bitter about carrie the musical getting cancelled after midge died, cause they never got to see the show
blood related to guy fieri
for three years they lived as a wolf deep in the forests of washington state
was a queer eye hero but all they did was stare at antoni porowski the whole ep so they had to cut it
fell off their scooter in 5th grade after running over a slug and broke their arm
actually finds pennywise the clown… kinda hot
smuggled coke into disneyworld by hiding it up their ass
was a twilight kid in junior high
got fired from a brand new job because they caught chicken pox a week in ( they were 20 )
invented a cool story about how they got a scar over their eyebrow when in reality they fell onto a push pop, aged five
has never been tested for stds in their life
was breastfed until the age of 20
was bullied by drake in middle school
one time they made a tumblr text post that said ‘I Am Gay’ and it got 1m notes
got married in vegas to their best friend just to spite their mother
their parents restaurant was shut down by gordon ramsey
fabricated a whole trip to london using nothing but pictures saved from google
got fired from their last job because they showed up with coke residue under their nose
can quote every single episode of degrassi
actually believes that pink and brown are colors of the rainbow
is one of the members of the black eyed peas
has a fear of dogs after being bit by a chihuahua at the ripe old age of 20
got fired from toys'r'us and threw a celebratory party when it closed down
can only speak in mean girls quotes
honestly cannot spell banana ( they’ve tried )
got banned for life from disneyworld for biting one of the actors
took algebra one their senior year
broke their arm trying to do a back flip ( and still tried again )
has seen every single annoying orange video ever posted
failed every math class that they ever took
blakekathryn
jbbartram-illu
andulkaphoto
origamiaround
ellievsbear
snowghoul